Can't cope with my lovely children in the morning?

[Eboneescrouge]

Everyone comments that my kids are wonderfully behaved etc. At home it is a different story, but more to do with neediness and excessive behaviour.

I am about to become a single mum and I don't know how I will cope. I feel groggy for the first 2 hours each morning due to stress I think. The baby cries for breastmilk and DC1 runs in full of beans, I tell her to play in her room or she can watch something. She chooses to watch something, but keeps asking questions and narrating what is happening in the programme. Baby is fussing at the breast and can't concentrate on feeding with all the noise.

Come downstairs for breakfast and DC1 is talking/shouting loudly. I ask her to lower her voice. She them says she's going to watch TV in the other room. She puts it on herself. Baby and myself follow her in. Baby is teething and starts fussing/climbing all over me. DC1 is now doing cartwheels across the room and not watching TV, I ask her if she wants to watch something different, she snatches the remote control and can't decide wants to work it herself. She chooses something else and begins narrating what is happening, she accidentally switches it off, the baby has climbed on the table.

DC1 is not naughty but very hyper, especially first thing in the morning. I then send DC1 upstairs and say she needs to ho and play alone for a while. I now feel like the worst mother ever. Baby is clawing at my legs as I write this.

Screen time just doesn't work. They are too hyper/needy for that. How can I make mornings better?

Some suggestions, they may or may not work for you

Get to bed earlier
Get up before they are awake, have a shower get dressed and have a quiet cup of tea sitting in a comfy chair, all before they wake up
Can baby have a bottle first thing sitting in a high chair.. expressed milk if they arent old enough for cows
Set a routine for dc1, make pictures on a board and they have to look at it and do the jobs independently as they are a big kid. So getting dressed, going to the bathroom, eating the cereal that you set out the night before, doing morning exercises. Practice with them the first few days.
Try and get outside to run off the morning energy as fast as possible

Hope it gets better

I think getting up before they wake could save me a lot of sanity! I used to manage this fine with 1 child, since having 2, I just can't motivate myself at all and want to wallow in bed for as long as possible.

Something needs to change.

I've only got one and that's enough work. I don't really want to think about how I might deal with two just yet.

I find getting out in the morning does us both good. Whether it's a play group, soft play or a play date, or just a walk to the park or library. It's planned the day before and it gives me purpose when I get up in the morning, and I get straight into the breakfast/clean/dress and out routine.

I can deal with a more unstructured afternoon in the house/garden if I've been somewhere in the morning.

Plan your day in such a way that you're doing loads of stuff to tire out DC1. Trips to the park, running around the garden, putting on music and dancing around like crazy. Anything you can think of really.

How old are they? Mine are 4 and nearly 2 now and I do know what you mean. I’m guessing Im a year ahead of you ish and it does get better. My eldest is very energetic and it’s exhausting! He has improved a lot in the last year though

We use a gro clock and DS does stick to it. He still comes running in super excited when it’s time, but that’s set to 7.30 so it’s not too early and I can pull myself together a bit

I also make sure we do all chores, eat breakfast etc before we watch any tv. That definitely focuses him more. I also let him chose clothes/hair clips etc for DD (with guidance) and help me with things like putting stuff in the bag for the day (one by one) or putting away bits of washing (item by item). This burns off some energy cos he runs around doing it and also makes him feel important that he’s helping me.

A timer when it’s time to leave also helps as they can’t argue with it.

Ds3 for me isn’t so bad, but we had a phase with ds1 and 2 when we had to be out of the house by 9am, because that was the latest they could be in the house without going bonkers!

Sometimes you just need to bung your coffee in a travel cup and head for the park!