Routines? Anyone? What works?

[HJ82]

I've searched for threads but getting no results. I see plenty of YouTube mums show their perfect baby routines lol. Wondering what's worked for the rest of you and at what age did you start?

My baby is very difficult to get to nap during the day - she will nap between 10-40 mins 4 times a day, if I'm lucky. I watch her vigilantly but putting her down awake but sleepy almost never works. I have to boob soothe or walk or rock or sing and when transferring her to cot she will always wake up but sometimes won't remain sleeping. I'd like to be able to put her down to bed without sleep associations long term!!

She's almost 3 months now and I'm keen to get her in a routine. Depending on when/ how/ if she naps her bed time is anywhere between 7-9pm also is a bit colicky at this time too. So her wake time in the morning varies! I find it impossible to have a set of timed for eating, activity, sleep as she is so unpredictable. Some days just nothing works and others it's perfect.

What's worked for you?

By 3 months, both of mine were going to bed at 7pm and everything else sort of worked itself out from there. DD was sleeping 7pm to 7am at 3 months (no idea how that happened) whereas DS would have been up quite a lot during the night until he was around 12 months.

At 3 months, they would be up around 7am, milk, straight back down for a nap, and then have a second nap around lunch time or early afternoon.

I'm not a complete stickler for routine, if we were out and about during the day I just let them nap in the pram/car whenever they wanted. But we have always stuck to a 7pm bedtime and that seemed to get us into a routine.

We started a 7pm bedtime around 3/4 months, as a pp said she started to work herself into a more consistent nap routine from there but honestly I just followed what she seemed to need tbh. I remember reading babies that age generally need to sleep after 2 hours of wake time and that seemed to be true for her.

Can’t advise on the rest as I still cuddle her to sleep now at 16 months! I love it and she has slept through the night since about 11 months so doesn’t seem to have done too much harm

If your little on breast or formula feed?

A really good way to start introducing a routine is to wake them up and start the day at the same time each day.

For me it wasn't going to bed at the same time very night that was important, it was getting the sleep, feed and awake/play cycles right. I would feed on waking to stop the association of feeding to sleep and my DS wouldn't be awake more than 90 mins at that age. He was always quite good at self settling as long as I put him down for a nap at the very first signs of tiredness. If not then it was lots of rocking and walking up and down. Sleep begets sleep at that age.

@summertime06 did you just put them in bed at 7 and they simply dosed off? What what your system? Bath, massage, rocking to sleep? Patting bum (this has never worked)

@hormonesorDHbeingadick breastfed and I don't mind her soothing to sleep but it's an association I'd like not to have long term so I should break that one soon. Otherwise I'm very aware of the pitfall later on. Also be nice for dad to put bub to bed and not need boob to do so. She doesn't always soothe to sleep. But often she will only sleep with side breast on bed 😬

I really wouldn’t worry too much about a routine at this stage; it’s very early. I didn’t have a proper nap time and feeding routine until 6 months.
I had a bedtime routine of pjs and feed in a dark room from day one but I didn’t do an earlier bedtime until 4 months which was earlier than all my friends. I only started the earlier bedtime because my DD was crabby and grumpy in the lounge from 7.30 and couldn’t sleep in the light and noise. It took a good couple of weeks to establish and at first I just fed her to sleep consistently and then later on I dropped that association.
At 3 months I worked on the basis that DD could only manage 2 hours awake.
I really stressed myself out at about your stage about a routine but was reassured that as long as there’s a night and day distinction and bedtime routine at whatever time then it’s fine. I would enjoy it a bit as well as once they’re older you can end up planning everything around routines.

@MrsL2016 this sounds perfect, my issue is DD doesn't always self settle when I put her down sleepy. Usually she's good at night. She needs help for day time naps she often yawns and I put her down and she just cries. But by the time I've tried every tactic she's then missed the infamous window and she's Alert and now in the danger zone of overtired baby hell

@user1493413286 thanks. I don't want a militant schedule as we go out during the day etc too. But I can't stand it if she misses a nap because when she's overtired is painful for all. Poor little sweetie

@HJ82 yes I put them into bed around 7pm after some milk. I have never bathed them every night, usually twice a week or a bit more if they need it. If unsettled just go back in and talk quietly to them or gently stroke them until settled again. DS took a dummy so that would usually settle him again pretty quickly. I completely realise that every child is different, that's just what worked for us.