Apprehensive about being a mum to a toddler/pre-schooler

[Rosebud1302]

Hi all,

I'm not really sure where this thread has come from. Clearly in my subconscious depths it's been in my thoughts!

I am a FTM to a gorgeous soon to be 1 year old baby boy. I wouldn't describe myself as a natural maternal person. I am not great with kids in terms of knowing what to talk to them about, how to entertain them etc. And I'm not a creative person who can come up with these brilliant "on the whim" ideas. I live a very basic life with a small house, small garden and I work part time.

It has dawned on me recently that I am a little apprehensive about how to be a good mum to my boy as he grows older and into a toddler. I am just not sure how to play with a toddler and do fun creative things while keeping him busy, stop him from being bored and resorting to permanent screen time (my fear is I get into a horrible rut of him watching far too much tv because I'm not creative enough to keep him entertained without it).

Did anyone else have this apprehension? How did things work out? If anyone has any experience or advice I would be grateful! I know I probably sound ridiculous but I just want to try and do the best for him!!

Thanks for reading :) x

Sign him up for stuff.

Messy play sessions, baby music classes etc.

One or two a week, swim once a week, garden play a couple of days, visit a park once a week and boom - the weeks over.

They still nap up to about 2.5 (or mine did anyways) so a morning out somewhere, home for lunch and nap, then tv/books/toys at home til dinner.

He’ll also start to interact with you more and he’ll tell you things he wants to do. You’ll be happy as he’ll be enjoying himself! They find enjoyment in everything too, like sticks and bubble wrap!

I was nervous initially when he started to get bigger, but then I found that it was more fun than when he was a baby as he was interested in stuff. He also enjoyed nursery more.

Even if you aren't very creative, you can have fun doing messy craft stuff at home. Buy cheap paints, paper etc. You can have a lot of fun turning boxes into houses, pirate ships etc too. He can make Christmas cards etc too

Thank you for the great suggestions and reassurance :). We have a dog so will be out a fair amount of time walking her which he currently loves so hopefully will continue to do so. I am hoping it all just comes naturally and yes you are right about him being able to communicate what he wants to do which will be helpful!!!

I didn't think I had anything in common with toddlers either but believe me when they start to talk you get drawn into lots of conversations and it comes easily then!

They also tend to have pretty strong ideas abort what they do (and don't!) want to do so follow their lead a bit - toddlers are very imaginative and you'll soon be running round pretending to be a dragon or butterfly or something! 🤣

Is the father in the picture - my DH has completely different way of playing than I do and sharing the playtime gives you a break!

Follow his lead. Water is always good. My son was supremely uninterested in anything arty for years but I enjoyed the messy play ;) On the other hand he would drop everything to watch me blow up a balloon or make beds (with jumping). He wouldn't do musical stuff but adored any form of water play. Filling a paddling pool (not playing in it) was fa tastic. Likewise 'painting' fences with water and big decorating brushes. He loved having other kids about so we would meet others outdoors and picnic (Just normal food). Just do what you both enjoy. Might your dog enjoy agility? He might love seeing that.

I found having lots of craft material from £land helpful. I also have guinea pigs, mice and a fish tank and he enjoys looking at that stuff and petting the piggies. I have a wooden planter in the garden where he picks the seeds he wants and what he wants to grow, we make little signs for the veg and flowers and he helps me with the bamboo poles and tie things up. A water table is great fun for them.

I got a little helper stand when he was small, he "helps" me do the dishes and make dinner, he chops up soft veg with a plastic salad knife. I also have a book for toddler safe baking and we make things together.

One of the best things we bought were colourful wooden building blocks, hot wheels cars, ikea train set and lots of extra trains, a toddler doll house, and dinosaurs.

Just try and get out every day. Even if you don't manage it. I find I interact with them more if we're out than at home, I get distracted with the housework.

Oh! And if he's energetic I'd get a trampoline, even just a small one.

I completely understand what you mean! My little guy is two now and I'm still trying to find new and different activities. Have you got Pinterest? There's plenty of different ideas on there . I often fill a spray bottle (about 49p from Home Bargains) either have spray bottle fights so we spray each other or he sprays the tables in the house and wipes with kitchen towel . This morning I took an old shoe box and made holes in it , got a bowl of dry pasta and told him to try and get the pasta in the holes , while I enjoyed my morning coffee 😊.

And like someone mentioned above, water is always a good idea! The other evening I filled a plastic tub with soapy water and he put his feet in there and did whatever he wanted to . Maybe he could pretend and wash some of his toys ?

The list is endless and you'll find your mojo Mama! Happy playing 🙂

I became a mum to a 2.5 and an 8 instantaneously via adoption.
My 2.5 was delayed so maybe more like a 1.5-2yo.

I coped with lists.

So I had a sheet of paper with the different areas of child development as headers, then under each section I had ideas for each. So:
Gross Motor Skills: rolling a ball, going to park, kicking ball
Fine Motor skills: large hamma beads, threading, cutting, painting
Literacy: books, spotting letters on signs
Science: Water play, cornflour gloop, click clack cars, ….

I also found a structure worked. Including a self imposed rule of no TV until the afternoon. We had structure due to school run for eldest, but even in holidays, going out in pushchair, come back, indoor activity from list above etc.

Sectioning the day mentally, punctuated by snacks helped manage the time. Understanding that finger painting was fun, and washing up afterwards was also an activity not a chore.

My DD was speech delayed. I had a great book 'Baby talk' by Dr Sally Ward which as well as talking about speech development, had ideas for toys and play at each stage of development.

(My youngest is 14 now, and I still find lists and structure help for the holidays ).

Such normal feelings! My son is 20m now, and to be honest this is my favourite phase yet! He is so so so much more fun! He has a sense of humour and can communicate so much more - he can tell me what he wants to do, and most of the time he will just make up a game of his own.

Not saying this to brag, just to illustrate that you don't really have to do a lot for them because children that age are naturally curious and creative.

Having said that, I have started to follow a few accounts on Instagram for some inspiration for the summer. I really like Bakeful Play, five minute mum, our sensory shop, busy toddler to name a few. Some good ideas there!

Pinterest is full of great ideas for toddlers.

Mines 18mo and we have so much fun! Key things for me are outdoor time, physical play (to tire him out), play time, nap time, chores - he's a very willing helper. We have a regular schedule for our days and mostly stick to it. I use Instagram for play ideas but tbh he's happy emptying a shelf so I'd rather stick with that than attempting any crafts at this stage!

Pinterest is great for ideas if you are stuck on a rainy day. As people have said he will tell you what he wants to do or play. Enrol in activities you think he will enjoy, alot of clubs offer a taster session for free to see if your child enjoys it.
My DS has lots of toys and games but what he truly loves is time spent with other humans or animals outdoors getting dirty, finding bugs, cooking, creating, running around wild as anything...usually naked.
Just be you, your son will love you, for you.

Oh guys you are all lovely and such amazing advice and ideas!!!! Thank you ☺️☺️. I will definitely take on board all of your suggestions and will remember Pintrest as a good tool. I do plan to spend a lot of time outside with him if we can. I love being outdoors and I am really hoping he will continue to love it too. I'm not a fan of being indoors all day at all which is probably why I worry about how to entertain him indoors. Because I myself find it boring!

It sounds absolutely ridiculous but because I have a small house with not much "stuff" so to speak in terms of furniture, cupboards of fun novel stuff etc I just worry he will find it all very boring but I know that is crazy haha. Water play sounds fun. He loves water even now. Especially the dog's water bowl 😅.

Thanks guys you have helped a lot :) x

Yep agree with poster....Pinterest is your friend. Big clear box cram with pound shop art stuff and glitter, Library, baking, playdough, books.

If you like being outside yourself that's a great start.
Mornings, up breakfast little book/puzzle, then out - even if you just go for a walk, talk to your child about what you see.
The park is great or on a field with bubbles, a ball, picnic, the dog, collecting leaves to take home and pain.
Swimming is a great place to have fun and learn a skill.

Keep an eye out for any toddler groups and they give you some great ideas as well. The library (if you have one locally) some do story time sessions or play sessions

At home throw some music in dance, sing or get some easy recipes and get do a bit of baking (toddler can help pour flour, mix with spoon. pour milk, water etc
Having a garden is also great as they can have a play outdoors in-between napping and tea or after tea and before bed

You will get to know your child and they are not short of telling you what they like lol