anxious about looking after other people's children

[medicellen]

I feel like I am disproportionately anxious about looking after other people's kids and not sure what to do about it. My DS is 5 and often asks if we can meet up with school friends. If their parents are around, no bother, but if its just me then I get so worried about their welfare. I know my own DS's assessment of risk, eg he is unlikely to go too far away, run into a road, or fall off a climbing frame etc but how are you supposed to know that about other kids? I feel like I have to tail them around to make sure that they dont come to harm. I cant imagine how I would get over it if someone else's kid was injured or lost whilst in my care. Also, anytime they look worried or sad I feel a bit panicky...

Any wise words to settle these (weird?) concerns....?

I have a much younger child but tbh I only take them if I know them well enough to assess how well they listen/likelihood of making a beeline for a main road, and I won't take them if I worry that I can't stop them coming to harm. DD has a few friends who are lovely but will literally find the one dangerous thing in any environment and run headlong towards it. I don't handle them solo.

Thanks for the input. Anyone else feel similarly?

Take the to soft play or an enclosed playground, then there's a lot less things to worry about

Treat all kids as if they are your own
Thats my unapologetic approach
And with other children ask them what they normally do with their parents - give you a good idea for their comfort zone and what they capable of

And if all else fails don't worry too much - I took my daughters best friend away and managed to return her with a broken wrist ... very hard phone call that one ! Her parents still talk to me

I haven’t even contemplated the fear when I have to let them out on their own! It’s inevitable that they have to encounter significant risk but I guess perpetual worry is just part of parenthood

Yes - as they get older the fear just changed to different things

My only advice is to ensure you equip your children with life skills so they can make good choices - don't shelter them and do it all for them - they need to learn what to do in challenging or difficult circumstances and "develop that muscle" while they are with you so that when they are not with you they can rely on themselves

I agree with the treating them as if they are your own, when in your care - don't fanny about trying to "please" them, just use the same rules you use for your own dc.
So, if I were taking them to the park or walking home from school or something, I wold expect to hold their hands when crossing roads etc. Children can fall anywhere. As long as you only let them do what you would reasonably allow your own child to do, then there is no need to worry about falls and bumps. All children fall sometimes.

If they are worried or sad, just ask them what is up?
Very often it will be something easily manageable. If they are very shy, get your dc to find out what they are worried about.