Feeling lonely

[mamatoizzybee]

Does anyone else feel lonely and miss their partner/husband even though they are so supportive ? We have a five month old and we love her dearly. Sometimes I miss my old relationship and just feel so alone . I don't know what to talk to my husband about these days other than baby things!! I can't remember what we used to enjoy ! .
Just wanting some kind words to pick me up a bit tonight , and maybe some responses from those who feel a similar thing

It'll get better. Once the baby sleeps in a routine you can get her down and have more of an evening. You can also get babysitters then and go out for the evening.

Get out of the house more so you have something to talk about. Notice the world around you, read books on your phone or listen to podcasts or the radio.

The baby bit is boring and monotonous but it'll be over before you know it. Hang in there!

I found people seemed to think the only thing I could talk about was the baby - like I didn’t have 41 baby free years before! When I went back to work no one else had children and I was absolutely thrilled to talk about anything and everything else other than babies!
Keep up with the news, keep meeting up with friends keep reading/working out/whatever you do. Talk to your partner about his work and anything he’s interested in it interests you share. Of course you can talk about baby stuff but just be sure you don’t lose yourself in that - you’re identity isn’t solely being a mum!

Thankyou @Cyclemad222 - that's really nice to hear. I should defo spend time reading for sure as I end up nursing my daughter to sleep and sitting with her for ages as she won't nap in her cot !! That is a good shout to do that !

What age roughly should she be in more of a sleeping routine ? At the moment , she sleeps so all over the place and no matter how much I try to get into a routine of set times - it never ever goes to plan ! Be good to know roughly when to expect that :)

Thank you @Pipandmum - I need to defo spend more time keeping up with the news and life! It's all too easy to lose yourself to being s mum !!!

I felt exactly the same and my loneliness peaked with all of my children at around five months. I remember feeling liked I had lost my partner as we were more of a partnership/colleagues managing a baby than a couple.
The good news is that it does pass, especially once your sleep is restored.

What we did was walk baby to pub in pram so get them to sleep. Have a drink - in my case coffee - chat for an hour. Bbay wakes is breastfed. Back in pram. Walk home.
Out of house. Chat and family time.

It gets better I have an 8 month old, I still miss my husband sometimes but we are starting to make a bit of time for each other especially now little one has a set bed of about 6:30pm ( she says as little fella is wide awake )
For me thomas kind of started to put himself in his own routine ... he set his bed time when he was about 4-5 months it was 10 pm and somewhere along the line it became 6:30ish ... the earlier start means we get an few hours in evening after doing dinner and clearing up to chat.

Sleep is still broken but no need for milk and settles quicker ... weaning I think was the main turning point.

Every baby is different.. sounds odd but just having a game of catch with one of our babies balls ... and a general
Giggle makes me feel more me.

It’s hard somedays and I look forward to work yet other days there is no where else I would rather be ... feel like a split personality with conflicting needs half the time. 😂 bet your doing amazingly x x

I could of wrote your post DD was 3 weeks old. It’s like I was mourning the ‘old us’ however as times goes on you will find yourself not talking about the baby as much as it’s not as ‘new’
It’s hard knowing you are no longer your husbands priority as you have a new little person to focus on now but soon you will naturally get back into the swing of things with husband again.
Completely normal how you are feeling xxx

I was exactly the same at 5 months @mamatoizzybee (DD is nearly 10 months now). In fact 4-6 months was my hardest time. Really missed my boyfriend and mourned our old life and the closeness with 2 best friends. At 6 months things shifted. Plus I asked OH to comeback from the spare room as was lonely in the day and at night and it was too hard. He adjusted to the nights and I felt a lot better for that. It def will get easier.
I would say it’s good to open up to your OH about it. I find my OH can sense when I’m down anyway and when I tell him what’s up he feels relieved as isn’t guessing anymore.

I am only just starting to be able to get out of bed now in the evenings, and sometimes DD won’t let me leave (like this eve). But slowly slowly things change and one day this will all be a distant memory that we might even feel nostalgic for, who knows :).
I find when me and OH we do get time together it’s so good and I can feel we are closer than ever. It’s just the waiting and not knowing when it will come that is hard. I feel you there.

Ps.
We don’t really have a sleep routine. But I’m realising the benefit of having the same bedtime every night. So trying to implement that now. So in order to do this I’m having to wake her if her last nap goes on past X time and over X minutes -it’s so confusing! You are doing better than me there I feel.