Struggling with being alone with 12 mth ds

[Spanglyprincess1]

Anyone else feel like this... It makes me hugely anxious to think of the entire weekend alone just me and ds.
Dp was away all of last week working and is again all weekend Friday to Monday.
I've set up things to do including IKEA, shopping, park for football, visiting family and friends. But the rest of the time being alone in house with him makes me really worried.
I have just been diagnosed with pnd and have some councilling sorted which starts Monday ( I'm breastfeeding so no meds). Is this normal or something I need to raise with them?
How do I help myself feel less anxious or stressed about long stretches of time alone with ds?
Sorry if this was a bit of a rambling post

I’ve no real advice as when I had PND I relished being alone, but wanted to say that you can absolutely take anti depressants whilst breastfeeding - I was prescribed 40mg citalopram daily throughout 2.3 years of breastfeeding

Being alone just me yes but with baby no, I'm terrified ill lose it with him or not cope. Which in turn makes me not cope. Bizaire but true.
If I'm out I find it easier to keep the happy face on... Sound wierd but there you go.
My gp said absolutely not to prescribing anything while bf.

I know how you feel. That's how I felt on most of mat leave. Can you split each day into chunks? Does he have one or two naps a day? I split my days into three. First chunk is before morning nap. We just stay in and he plays. Second chunk is between 10am and 12:30. We might go to a playgroup then home for lunch, a short play then 2 hour lunch nap. Then after lunch nap is the final chunk of the day. The day feels almost over by then. We might go for a walk round a national trust property or meet a friend or do the supermarket run. Then home for dinner, a bit of play time, bath time and bed at 6:30/7pm. Planning in chunks makes every day feel more manageable for me and go more quickly. Don't know if that helps.

Thank you it does. He doesn't nap really maybe 40min a day. He's not a good or easy to get off sleeper. Can literally walk him. In pram or drive in car for over 40 min to. A hour for a short nap.
Chunks mentally might help though.

I felt exactly the same with my first baby. I also had pnd. I found they when I stopped trying to fill every minute so I wouldn't be at home alone with him, I actually realised I could cope and it wasn't so bad.

Also, just to reiterate a previous poster- you absolutely can take antidepressants while bfing. Not saying you should, but it is an option if you need. Please see an alternative GP who knows what they're talking about.

And yes- it's so much harder when they don't nap! My first would only nap on me so I never got any space to myself

He's been really good today but only napped on me as was screaming blue murder in cot. He's a happy chap and lovely when he's like this.
The screaming will start soon as it's bedtime.
He's honestly a good baby, just feel like he desveres better than me at the moment.
Yeah I was surprised at gp but he was really nice and I have cbt Monday. I'll speak and see how first session goes then make a decision.

Now that I have a second child, what's really helped me this time is realising that everything changes so quickly. Before, I felt like the bad days would last forever. Now I take each day as it comes. If it's shitty, well I know tomorrow will be different.

Hi Spangly, I would really panic if I had to be alone with DD all that time too, and she naps more than your DC and I'm also not BF! I don't think it's as uncommon as some PP on MN make out. Can you get friends or family to spend a lot of time with you so you're not on your own as much?

Dp was away all last week, been back 4 days and is away again till Monday. I work full time compressed hours. So 3 very long days and two short days with 5 am starts.
I feel like I haven't had a minute that wasn't work, sleep or bbay for the last 2 weeks.
He's just gone to sleep after 2 hours of screaming and cluster feeding to sleep.

My mom's lovely and lives close as are fiends but they have their own lives and are busy or working so I can't fill as much time as I'd like.

Today I finished work at 8.30 am from 5 am. Bbay got up, I fed him, made breakfast mad lunch for later went to playgroup, bought food walked him home. Went swimming and then to park had lunch and then played ball games and swings. Walked home, saw my mom for an hour. Bbay fell asleep on me. Woke up. Hoovered. Washing up cleaned bathroom. Made tea. Ate tea, washed duo cleaned floor and then baby. Played with baby. Bath baby and he's just gone to bed.
Hell wake up at 1 and 5 ish for angry shouting at nothing and then take 30min or so to go back down eachh time.
Repeat for next three days til dp is home Monday afternoon.
I have no idea how people manage full time alone. Its madness!

Thanks for being kind, I was worried I'd be labeled a bit loopy for think panicking about having ds a lot alone.

Could you possibly have a friend come over and sit with you for the early evening.
I think you are definitely doing the right thing by being out and about in the day if it eases your anxiety a little.
You sound like your are doing a good job if your son is happy and smiley through the day. It's quite common for children of this age to dislike bedtime, that is not because of you.

Chin up and be kind to yourself, good luck 💐💐💐

It won't help just now but I felt like you. It does get so much easier when they can talk, it feels more like they are a real person rather than something you have to 'look after' abs entertain. I mean, you still have to do all that, but they are more interactive and you get more feedback about what they enjoy and what they want to do/play/eat/watch.

Mine are 2 and 4 now and I still get a bit twitchy if I have to be alone with just one of them, but together we are fine.

Thank you.
In my head I know. It but it kills me seeing him so upset n not sleeping. He wont sleep for anyone not even the childminder or my mom.
Thanks for being nice.

It sounds like you're doing a great job. I confess it would be rare for us to do as much in one day as you're doing but then my DD would sleep a bit. So if we did playgroup in morning she'd probs have a long nap either before or after her lunch. And then we'd maybe pop to the park and or th shops for a bit in th afternoon after her lunch then she'd come back and play with some toys for a bit and I would play with her a bit, then put her in playpen while I sort tea or whatever. She goes to bed without too much hassle either usually but there are times when she plays up and I find that stressful if I'm on my own, which is rare as DH almost always here for bed time. So basically lots of people would struggle with the things you're struggling with, I would just try and get as much support as you can, if your mum is happy to help then let her, ask her if she could be around for bed time maybe if that's the worst bit then if she lives local she could just go home when he is in bed? Or could she have lunch with you or something then make sure you can eat your lunch with a bit of help. Or just whatever bits you find most difficult see if your mum or a friend can be with you for that bit? Also I would focus on yourself and your child not housework, do the absolute bare minimum necessary and massively lower your expectations while you're on your own, leave everything else.

We had horrendous sleep issues between 10-15 months. DS was up at all hours and didn't nap, it was unbelievably hard.

I'd bin off the cleaning (apart from the essential bits like cleaning up food etc) - and give yourself a break in that time. There's a lot of stuff going on in your day - is he a bit over stimulated? I found the best way to manage our sleep issues was routine - that way DS knew what to expect and I knew when I could get a rest, I do love a routine though and appreciate it doesn't work for everyone. My DH works away a lot too and it's bloody hard having to do everything yourself which is why I watched Netflix last night instead of mopping the floors!

If what helps is being out, go out. To the shop for one tomato if need be, to a coffee place, to a park for him to crunch leaves, on a train / bus for the sake of it, whatever.

Thanks everyone. I don't know ref overstimulated. I know he can't do stuff after 5 pm or be with lots of people or he doesn't sleep. But equally if he's in all day he won't sleep. So it's a no win!