Feeling down

[sh13]

I have a 9 week old and feel constantly exhausted it’s really getting me down, I did have a traumatic birth emcs and blood loss but feel ok physically now.

I just feel like I’m failing as other mums seem to have so much energy and are constantly on the go , where as I struggle to get us out the house before midday I find it takes ages to get ready an out the door , We do something every day even if it’s just a walk and have play time...i love him so much and haven’t had a problem bonding I’ve just feel down the past few days like I’m not good enough in some ways.

I just wondered if anyone else gets down an how they deal with it x

Have you had your iron levels retested? How are you feeding - is there someone who can give you a break? Even 30 mins so you can nap.

Thanks No I need to do that perhaps I am anemic still I am breastfeeding. My mum has popped over occasionally to let me nap. I have a partner but he works a lot. Just hope I am not getting ppd

It's allways hard adjusting to bringing a new life into the world , I hope that you will feel better soon ! I had this for a little while after my little one but it soon sorted itself out especially as he grew more and could interact more , he's 18 months and starting to become a proper toddler with the tantrums too 😂 fingers crossed I can get through this bit too , keep going remember your amazing you made a human !! X

Bear in mind these ‘other mums’ won’t have it together like you think they do. We’re all exhausted some just deal with it better than others. It doesn’t matter what time you’re leaving the house aslong as your out and about getting fresh air. Remember your life changed dramatically only 9 weeks ago, give yourself a break and enjoy these moments. You’ll never get them back xx

Congratulations on your new baby, I’m so glad to hear you’ve fallen in love! I don’t think you sound unusual, most people I know had days when they’d feel like nothing got done, or they just felt over-whelmed. Things change, you will adapt and learn together.

Thank you everyone that’s really kind , unfortunately just got my second round of mastitis an feeling dreadful and there’s no one to help me today 😞 I really hope things get better as i have been constantly ill since my baby’s birth and am now feeling very depressed x

Hi OP it sounds quite normal to me I have a 6 month old and I've had to really adjust my standards of what a "good day" looks like. It used to include washing my hair and putting my make up on every day, I can't prioritise that any more for example. I don't look "put together" like I used to, my house is a tip, I don't eat three meals a day, my sleep is very broken etc etc. When I meet NCT mums I make an effort and outwardly it probably looks like I have my life together and find it a breeze but I really don't. At your stage I was crying in baby changing toilets because I couldn't stop DD from crying.

It's a huge adjustment, you're recovering from physical trauma and aren't well. Of course you feel down. Just because you have a baby you adore doesn't make all the hard bits go away. You're reacting in a very human way- us mums aren't supposed to feel elated about mastitis and broken sleep- who would enjoy that it's bloody awful.

I console myself with the thought I'm doing my best and life will gradually re find its balance but for now it's all about LO and I have to stop missing my old life as it will come back in time.

You sound like you're doing great and don't worry everyone is finding it hard, some are just better at pretending!

Thank you so much I really needed to hear that right now you’ve really reassured me @WanderingStars I had thoughts to day baby would be better off without me , but spoke to someone supportive and they talked some sense it to me , il just try an stay strong for my baby and like you remind myself things gets better . I’ve just referred myself for counselling, and il just hope this is the end of all the illnesses for me. X