Adjusting to the parenting and work juggle - any tips?

[Alicia870]

I've returned from mat leave with my first baby for about a month. I will be up to 4 days eventually but doing 3 at the minute.
One of them is from home. I know this is not half as bad as what other people have to do, but I'm definitely just finding the adjustment tricky.
I have a long enough commute the other days and don't get home til 7 on one of the days and half 5 the other day.
I just find it hard emotionally and practically. It's tough with a teething baby, up at night still with early waking anytime from half 5. Then having to go into work on minimal sleep and function as good as everyone else.
Don't get me wrong- I knew it wasn't gonna be easy and I'm not trying to moan about it. I'm still really happy with life but just wondered if others have any tips on how to juggle? I just find I have hardly any down time at all- any spare time I have I'm trying to stay on top of house admin, cleaning, chores, cooking for her, planning for the days I'm away(her meals, her clothes etc). So I feel sometimes that even the time I have with her is strained and it's not quality.
How do others juggle all this? I know it's probably going to get easier and it's just because I'm not used to it. Being off for 9 months just thinking in mummy mode hasn't done much for my logical brain!! Tia!

It definitely does get easier and you'll reach a sort of equilibrium. Do you have a partner who's doing their share of the work? Is your commute by train? If so, you can sort out things like ordering shopping while you commute. Or do them at lunch-time. I had a colleague who advocated a 'power nap' at lunch-time which she used to have in the company's 'prayer room' - not for me, but it worked for her.

My husband is super busy. He's self employed and works long hours- he has started to hang back later in the mornings to help with the morning fuss of getting us all out but he's often not home til late. I do most of the housework but my mum helps when she can. I drive to work and it's two quite long days when I'm out at office so barely see dd at all.
It's just hard to imagine how it's gonna get easier- life is just so busy! But I guess it's all about being super organised??

If your dh is self employed, he needs to adjust his hours. My dh is self employed and I went back to work 3 days then 4, but I’m out of the house 6am-7/7:30pm those 3 days. On the 3 long days, he does everything and then in evenings after bedtime we both do work, tidying, admin. So we eat have days we can focus on work and days we focus more on home and aren’t quite so run ragged.

A lot of it is just planning and getting everything ready for the week (do this on a Sunday), keeping a family diary so everyone knows what’s happening and who needs to do what, order online food shopping and get a cleaner, and then share the nights depending on who has a more tiring day ahead. When mine were babies and I was bf, that was harder. But from a year, he could do more night settling. If I have a big presentation or have been up during the night, he gets up and does the early morning to give me an extra hour of sleep if I have time and vice versa.

Really though it probably just needs an adjustment of his/both schedules. The beauty of being self employed is that you can control your working day in a different way that someone who is employed. That flexibility has helped us massively. My dh works less hours now (still works well over 40), but we build them around family life as my career is less flexible in some ways.

My partner works 7am-4pm. I leave for work at 1:30pm and dont get home until 11:30pm. It's hard work because like you say I dont really get any free time either. I just think to myself I do it for my son

Lower your standards- just do the minimum that you need to do at home and at work.

Make sure you get to bed at a reasonable time and get as much sleep as possible.

Lists! Lots of lists. Get organised the night before work with things you need to do.

Convenience like online shopping or get a cleaner, worth every penny.

I found the emotional impact of leaving my son very draining particularly as he still slept badly (still does now six months later!). But it gets better once you get in the swing of things.

Good luck!

Oh and try to carve out a couple of hours a week to do something relaxing for yourself - it's hard!

I have a cleaner once a week for an hour, makes sure I tidy once a week too.

all my work clothes are non-iron

I chose a childminder who provided meals rather than one that asked for a packed lunch and tea.

my work are v flexible, no set time to be in or finish as long as i do my hours.

Yes, find out how best to organise things within your schedule and maximise any pockets of time, until it becomes a routine that is easy (easier) to manage.

I also found my that my DH had to adjust from me on full time mat leave = bulk of childcare and housework to both of us working and sharing responsibilities for the baby and house. That was probably his big adjustment in lifestyle (whereas mine happened when the baby was born) but once we sorted that out, things were much more smooth, and equitable.