When is a good time to stop breastfeeding?

[RainbowsandSnowdrops]

I have a 13 month old DD and I’ve loved feeding her. She was a very upset baby ( undiagnosed cows milk allergy) and I think it’s given us an amazing bond.

My issue is, whenever I’m around she can sometimes get more upset because she wants me to feed her all the time. Is constantly pulling at my top (as I try to write this!), and fidgets loads when feeding as she can’t sit still.

I’m worried that if I give up she will start getting stomach bugs, that I’ll lose that instant comfort and she won’t be a Mummy’s girl anymore.

Just interested to hear experiences? It’s such a big decision and I don’t want to regret it.

I’m breast feeding my 2 year old (turns 2 next week) and the bloody fidgeting is a nightmare!!! The positions he gets himself into are phenomenal really! He’s also CMPA.

He tends to grope me a lot too, hands down my top, pulling at my top etc etc.

The instant comfort is one of the main reasons I love breastfeeding. No matter how upset he is I can make things better in about 5 seconds.

I breast fed my first son until he was 2.5 years old but he wasn’t as fidgety or demanding as my current son.

When I stopped breast feeding my first our relationship didn’t change, he still loved me just as much as he did when he was breast fed. I think he probably missed the comfort aspect but after a few weeks of not feeding he learnt to not bother asking for it and his interest just tapered off.

I have no idea when I’m going to stop BF my current son as due to the CMPA my milk is all he can have. Mind you, I still love feeding him do I’m in no rush to stop just yet.

Thanks QueenofmyPrinces it’s good to know your relationship didn’t change!

I think it will be quite hard to stop and she will get upset so I’m not sure whether to delay things so she just stops by herself.

Didn’t think I’d keep going this long so quite proud really!

I stopped at 15 months with both mine . They were both only on night feeds from around 10 months .

Do what’s right for you but not breastfeeding won’t hurt your relationship .

I’m worried that if I give up she will start getting stomach bugs, that I’ll lose that instant comfort and she won’t be a Mummy’s girl anymore.

I think you’ll find these worries to be unfounded - even just a cuddle can become instant comfort. I think once you find it becomes a bit of a nuisance (that’s for want of a better word, I really don’t mean that negativily!) - like you said becoming more upset/frustrated and pulling at you i.e causing conflict rather than comfort - it might be a good time to stop. But you obviously need to feel comfortable with that decision.

Didn’t think I’d keep going this long so quite proud really!

So you should be

For me, by 12 months the magic of breastfeeding was over and I was ready to reclaim my body. Baby was eating well and
was ready, she had been on night feeds only for a good couple of months before we stopped. The mummy's girl bond was not lost at all, she became easier (less fussy and clingy in the evenings) and slept better once we'd stopped. So our time together became more enjoyable. I've another baby on the way now, will hopefully breastfeed until it comes to a natural end for us. When baby is fully weaned and on the road out of babyhood and into toddlerhood.

I stopped offering my ds at about 13mo but fed if asked and if an appropriate time (he was at nursery by then so mornings and evenings only and dh did half the bedtimes so not every bedtime) . He just stopped asking before the month was over. It was a very gentle end.

Think it was a week over 12 months after he had bit me really hard twice, I wasn't going to give him the chance of a 3rd!!

He liked bottles but was really good with a tommee tippee free flow cup and he switched to it overnight with no problems or pestering. Think we were both just ready, although I was quite sad as I kind of knew it would be the only and last time I bf.

PixieLumos

I think it is starting to become a nuisance. I feel a little heartbroken in a way as I wish I could go on for longer but she’s just had the worst screaming tantrum trying to grab at me. She’s been so overtired and upset- she tries to nurse but is never properly satisfied anyway.

Luckily she does have a prescription formula we can give. I think it’s time. Going to cut down to a morning and pre dinner feed then go from there!

I’m still feeding my 2 year just at night I don’t think he’s going to stop soon. He’s also got CMPA

There’s been a couple of rough patches when I’ve really wanted to stop but generally it’s been ok and now he realises he’s only bf at night he doesn’t pull at my top.

Ds is 4 and has a feed at bedtime. He's cut down that feed to a couple of minutes lately though. I've told him once he goes to school that's it. He's very, very! slowly been self weaning since he was 2.5. Dd was 3.5 when she self weaned. Dd1 was 15 months and I was so sad but pregnant with dd2 so knew I'd be doing it again. I've had enough now! It's such a comfort for them though. I thought ds would give up around 3 but just kept going at bedtime and if poorly or upset and it was just so normal for us.

DS stopped by himself just as he turned 1. I had been dropping feeds gradually and replacing with larger meals and snacks, until he just had a feed at bedtime. Then one day he just didn't want it any more. In a way it was easy because I never knew the last feed was the last, if you see what I mean. It didn't change our bond at all, still cuddled me all the time, especially loved a boob cuddle and still does at 2.4 years old. Still a mummy's boy! I think gradually as they eat more, the physical need for milk decreases. Saying that though, he was always a baby who fed for food, not for comfort so much.

I would try putting some boundaries around it rather than stopping completely, and see if that works for you. By 12 months I did first thing and bedtime, and sometimes a mid-afternoon feed if she asked (though that turned into a snack more over time - it helped that she absolutely loved fruit and would choose that over milk). Other times, I wasn’t available for milk, just for cuddles / snack / distraction.

waitingforagovernment Boundaries is an option. I’ve been so used to feeding on demand, I’ve all of a sudden got a toddler who is pulling my top down and helping herself! I never thought I’d be a parent who struggles to say no but I do!

Maybe I will try to distract her. She eats very well so it’s not a hungry thing. Morning and an hour before bed and we’ll go from there. She doesn’t do it when we’re out, only at home so maybe she is just bored?

DH gets annoyed when I feed her now, he doesn’t understand!

I read somewhere to either stop before 15 months or wait til after 18 months when they are more verbal and can understand. I started cutting down at 12 months, was down to before bed at 13 months and stopped completely at 14 months. It was the right time for me and it didn't seem to affect DD, plus her sleep improved (I hate admitting that but it's true, though could be coincidence). I know she would have been a nightmare if I'd carried on much longer as her tantrums and boundary pushing started.

She is still a complete mummy's girl at 20 months, I'm the mum being led round the room at every playgroup and she calls for me everything she wakes up without fail.

Oh just to add I completely loved breastfeeding for the first 12 months or so.

It is a personal decision. I did it when I started to hate it aged 2.5 but really it is when the bf relationship is not working any longer.

You’ve done brilliantly so the answer is whenever you’re ready really. Cutting down to maybe a morning and a bedtime bf so that’s when she expects it (for now) is a good start & you can reinforce it with telling her in an age appropriate way whilst she gets used to it? Probably not as simple as it sounds but she would get there!

I bf DS1 to 18 months and DS2 to just over 3 years - the first time giving up was easy - the second not so much simply because they were very different personalities. Im the end I had a conversation with DS2 about which feed to drop & then about how bf was finishing which made it easier!!

For me, by 12 months the magic of breastfeeding was over and I was ready to reclaim my body

Well done for making it to 12 months, i made it 6 months and wanted my body back!

Stopped at 14 months, after cutting down to a morning and evening feed about a month before that (at which point DS started sleeping through!). It sort of tailed off at the end and no adverse effects. There have been times when I've missed it, but still feel a really close bond with DS (he's now 20 months) and he's only been ill once since I stopped. And I've really appreciated getting my body back, I've had a great weekend away with a friend and some good nights out too. Overall felt like about the right time. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.