How to handle ASD child

[Pretendapony]

A friend of mine has a child with asd, he’s 3 years old and very well behaved on his own but violent to other children. I want to meet up for play dates but he keeps hitting my DS who is 11 months old. I don’t want to subject my DS to the constant hitting or throwing of toys at his head/face but I also don’t want to isolate my friend. Any ideas on how we can handle this? I am so stuck.

When my ASD child was young he was unpredictable and could be violent, biting scratching and throwing objects.
As a parent I had to watch him all the time, but I went on a brilliant course ran by the NSA and I changed the way I talked/engaged with him.
I used positive words, praised all of his good behaviour, distracted and move him on quickly when he did things wrong.
I stopped telling him off in a negative way (obviously they still need to know when they do something wrong) and stopped shouting (yes the frustration of it all had made me shout at times).
Slowly, slowly things improved, but it took a lot of hard work and I really did have to be a helicopter parent, but it was necessary to keep everyone safe.
I’m so pleased to hear you want to support your friend and her child.
Perhaps you can really focus on her child and play with him when you visit, so that he doesn’t have any opportunity to become negative to your child as he’s engaging with you.
It will be hard, but it might work.
I hope your friend is getting support and advice, it’s a very difficult situation.
On a positive note my DC is now a loving, gentle, caring 19 year old who is about to go to university

Thank you, I will try to engage with him more and keep him distracted! It’s such a shame because he’s so good when it’s just adult company.