Mother in law issue. Am I being ungrateful

[MsMollyOlly]

I'm not sure if I'm being ungrateful or overreacting so I'd like some advice please. Every school holidays my mother in law (or ex mother in law as of last year) very kindly takes time off work to look after our children. The only issues that I have is that she takes them to McDonald's for lunch every single day. So next week she has them for 2 weeks, she used to let them have a happy meal but now says they're 'too old' for happy meals so gets them a full medium adult meal each, a milkshake AND a McFlurry! They are 7 & 9.... I have never said anything in the past as appreciate that she's looking after them for me and 2 weeks childcare for 2 children costs a fortune so don't want to seem ungrateful. Do I say something to her or just let it go and think that 2 weeks isn't going to do them any harm?

I think two weeks of McDonalds everyday is a bit too much 🤔
Mind you, it will put them off fast food for life!
Can't you pack a lunch??

That's a good idea, I could maybe do that for 4 of the days then say could they only have it once per week. Thanks :)

She probably does it out of convenience. Could you make one for her as well otherwise she still has to figure out what she's going to have while the children eat their packed lunch. Might seem a bit more work for you but offset against free childcare...

What a strange thing to do taking kids to McDonald's every day!!
A packed lunch is the answer.

I totally understand your concern but agree you have to approach it gently given that she’s being so kind to help you. How about saying to her ‘MiL I sooo appreciate you having the kids for two whole weeks, you’re an absolute lifesaver. Would it make life easier for you if I send them with a packed lunch? I know you often do a McDonald’s treat when you have them but as it’s two whole weeks this time and you obviously won’t do that EVERY day, should I pack a lunch for four days a week and pay for you all to have the McDonalds treat on both Fridays?’

Oh I’ve just seen that’s basically what you decided to do in your last post

Oh yes, pack something for her and dress it up as a "thank you"

No don't make a lunch.

2 weeks will not kill them but I expect after the third or fourth day your DC will rebel. If you make a fuss about this before they do you will be the 'bad guy' and she will become more stubborn.

Once your DC complain then you can say oh mil, the DC are asking for a different lunch than normal. Since you are doing me such a lovely favour by having them shall I pack a nice picnic for you all tomorrow instead.

Don't turn it into a power game, or where your mil will get defensive. Kill the McDonalds with kindness 👊

Make up a packed lunch for them. And let your kids help you decide what goes in it so the packed lunch looks more appetizing to them than a McDonalds. As a PP natbe make one for your MIL too, tell her how much you appreciate her and that you wanted to treat her to lunch?

Everyday for two weeks is way too much! Surely she must know this. Is it honestly every single day?

I'd just tell her straight. She must know it isn't good for them to have it every day.

My DS would never rebel against this. He would happily eat a McDonalds every day. Infact he asks most days.

No, not acceptable.

Children 7 - 9 should be consuming around 1,600 calories a day.

There’s almost 1,900 calories in an adult burger, chips, milkshake and McFlurry. In addition to all the unhealthy fats.

It is honestly every single day, they go to the soft play, then to McDonald's. It must cost her a small fortune.

She's a very large lady herself, & uses food for kindness. Even the pets are overfed. My children would happily eat McDonald's everyday & never complain. I try to counteract it by making sure they have lots of veg for dinner but they won't touch it after their lunch.

I don't like confrontation and don't want to upset her as I know she's doing me a favour so definitely think the packed lunch idea is the way forwards.

Maybe tell her either a milkshake or a McFlurry. Or even say they must have milk or juice instead. I doubt that a burger and fries for two weeks will destroy their metabolism forever.
Does the McDonalds she takes them too have a playground? Could that be the reason they go?

Yeah they might be enjoying the playground and be sad to not go - a packed lunch then going to McDonald's for just a soft serve ice cream and a play sounds like a good way to go

I would definitely say no ,however helpful she is being 2 weeks of MacDonald's is really bad for your kids / anyone. Not just on calories but sugar,fats and energy levels

I would do what others are suggesting and send a packed lunch and maybe suggest they can go once to MacDonald's as a treat.

It doesn't have to be confrontational, just say I really appreciate you looking after them ,I will be sending them with a packed lunch. If she brings up that wants to take them to MacDonald's instead just say that would be fine for one lunch but they need to eat healthier rest of the week .

Anyone remember that experiment where a scientist ate like this every day for a month and how ill he was at the end of it.

www.inc.com/peter-economy/this-university-professor-ate-at-mcdonalds-for-an-entire-month-she-didnt-end-up-supersized.html

No. Absulutely fucking not. Bad habits for life. It wont just be the mcd’s either. There will be constant biscuits and other snacks. All fay for two weeks. Pop. All a treat because it is at nana’s. No no no. Dont let her make food a treat.

Look for cheap childcare.

Maybe suggest a Tesco meal deal for £3 each. My boys love picking a nice sandwich, crisps or whatever and a drink. Easy picnic or even car picnic before or after soft play?