Feeling down - need some hand holding!

[Rosebud1302]

So my baby boy is nearly a year old. My amazing (yet bloody tough at times) maternity leave is over next week and baby is going to nursery. Which in itself makes me really emotional. He is a sensitive mummy's boy and I am just so so worried how he will cope at nursery. So that's playing on my mind a lot.

At the same time I find myself looking back realising how my little snuggly newborn who didn't want to sleep anywhere but on me feeding (breastfed), now pushes me away when he is done with feeding and has absolutely no desire or inclination to sit on my lap at all let alone contemplate sleeping. Even when tired. I know I should feel happy he is an independent boy who is comfortable in his cot and there are people struggling to get their baby down in their cot but I can't help but wish I could go back to the times he would snuggle into me and fall asleep.

To add fuel to the fire he falls asleep on my lovely MIL (genuinely I love her to bits and I'm so glad my son feels so comfortable with her) without any effort whatsoever. I came home yesterday when they were babysitting and he was fast asleep on her lap. This happens every time he sees them every few months. I tried to snuggle up to him when it was nap time today and he wanted nothing to with it. Screaming, pushing me away trying to get off me until I just put him down and had a little sob to myself.

I know I know I must sound so pathetic and I need to get over it! I think I'm just feeling super emotional about going back to work and the fact he is turning 1 soon that it's all getting on top of me.

Someone tell me to stop being a muppet and enjoy my little boy!!!! 🙈

Apologies for the long rant!

I get how you feel. My lo was very similar at 1 years old but don't worry too much, my lo has come almost full circle again and is now a very cuddly 3 year old. He’ll also just spontaneously come up to kiss me or cuddle me and it’s just so lovely that it’s initiated by him. I used to worry he was more attached to my mil but as he's got older he makes it very clear that mummy is his number one (which I secretly love). I know it can seem like they change the most in the first year but they change loads every year. Sounds like you've built up a lovely relationship and honestly, I'm sure it will just got from strength to strength. Little boys rock!

My little boy was never really a cuddly baby, seemed to settle better for everyone else but me. Now at 3 years old he is a proper mummy’s boy, constantly wants me, always saying “I need a cuddle” to me throughout the day, will stroke my arm/face when he’s lying in bed with me, tells me I’m his “best friend in the whole wide world”. It’s amazing.
Going back to work & leaving them with someone else is tough, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll soon get into a new routine, I’m sure your little boy will love nursery & you will probably enjoy the “break” from parenting (it’s not really a break but at least a distraction & not having to hear “I need a snack” all day 😆)

Thank you both for your wise words. I hope you are right about becoming cuddly again! I know nursery will be such a great experience for him and it will make me treasure my time with him so much. It's just so hard to think of my baby growing up!!!