Anyone else?

[SophieB0012]

Does anyone else’s husband just get to sit around drinking beer at family BBQs/parties/restaurants/pubs while you’re literally ran off your feet making sure your 18 month old doesn’t fall and hurt herself or eat something she’s not supposed to etc.

I’m so so so so angry right now. (Sorry this is mainly just for a rant). And then when you say something about it he’s all “I watch her constantly blah blah blah”. Yeh right. That’s why I had to literally run across the garden to make sure she didn’t fall off the concrete step because you couldn’t get off your stupid arse to stop her.

Aaaargh

Oh yes, my DC are older now but I remember it well. 19 months between my two DC and I remember being at my wit's end at every family get-together whilst OH chatted, drank and generally ignored the DC. Last straw was at his dsis wedding (he was so drunk he tried to give DC 5 a Coke not realising it had vodka in it- nor really caring) and I've refused to attend any family get-togethers since tbh.

No we turn take if out with friends, if it's family I will usually do the running around at his family events so he can catch up then vice versa or we take turns and swap every half hour or so so we both get time to relax.

Or they are ‘cooking’ the bbq while you are getting the drinks, sorting the food for the grill, making the salads, setting the table, have spent hours cleaning the house and then they take all the credit for the food and beam at you how they gave you the evening off from cooking!

I know that feeling: I’ll tell my DH he’s in charge of DD then I notice her doing something and he has no idea

I feel you. Before I had DS, I remember going to a meal with my DH's family and his 18mo DNephew and 3yo BNiece.

First 18mo's mum ran after him. Then grandma ran after him. Then I ran after him. Then one of their family friends (female) ran after him. Not once did the men get off their bums!

Seven years of DCs now and every meal out - EVERY MEAL - the food will arrive and DH will start eating immediately, leaving me to sort out cutting up two DCs’ food, arrange napkins, clear activity sheets and crayons, move drinks so they don’t go flying when DCs lunge for food, all while my food is slowly going cold.

I have now taken to saying pointedly at EVERY MEAL, ‘DH, can you please sort out DS1 while I see to DS2 BEFORE you start eating.’ I thought, after several repetitions of this, he’d got the idea such that I wouldn’t have to say anything anymore, but the one time recently I didn’t prompt him to help me sort the children first, he once again fell on his own food immediately, leaving me to sort everything and be last to start eating.

I really don’t like gender stereotyping but, FFS, MEN!

I never miss an opportunity to remind my DH of the time when, at a restaurant for dinner with extended family, our recently potty trained DD asked to go to the loo just as our food arrived. I took her as we had never been to this place before (it was abroad) and we had no idea what the toilet situation would be - better for her to go into the ladies’ loos. The restaurant was in a huge, outdoor-seating only, food court kind of place. Took ages to find the loos, have her do her business, wash hands etc and get back. By the time we did, both our plates had been cleared away. Neither of us had had a single bite. No doggy bag. We had been sitting right next to DH. On seeing us return, old-fashioned patriarch sitting at the head of the table said “ah, they’re back, we can get the bill and go”.

This was years and years ago, and it still makes me furious.

I'm not being an arse but no. And DH likes a drink, but he would take equal responsibility for monitoring DS. You have every right to be angry at your DH

I do the majority of organising the meal at the table, as I do like things done in a certain way, my hubby is great at doing our sons meals at home, but I do take control when we are out.

As for running around after our son, Grandad is in charge of that (and loves it) if he is out with us for Tea, which is 80% of the time. And the remaining of the time it is probably me with a helping from hubby once I've requested it.

If it annoys you, yes he should definitely do more while you are out and without being told. Maybe you should set some easy to follow rules, one of you eats while the other entertains then swap roles.

Thanks for all the replies

I’ve calmed down a lot now. It just drives me mad sometimes. I can’t deny he is a very good dad and does try his best (most of the time). But when there’s other men to talk to he just seems to forget he’s not 20 anymore with no wife or child!

I’m very glad it’s not just my DH. Silly twat