Is my son behind?

[ArlosMumma]

My son is (just turned) 9 months. And I'm wondering if he's behind

He didn't start sitting until he was 6.5/7 months and is still wobbly. He has no teeth although been teething since he was 3ish months. He isn't pulling himself up to stand or crawling yet. He did start to roll at 2/3 months. He makes to occasional noise but not like mama/dada etc. He also doesn't understand weaning yet. Is he behind? And what can I do?

That all sounds normal. You need to look at the parameters for milestones, because that’s absolutely average. 99.9% of 9 month olds aren’t talking. About 80% of them aren’t walking.

Sounds normal to me. Get a copy of birth to 5 for a comprehensive list of mile stones.

If you are concerned then it’s always good to have a chat with your health visitor, although make sure you are satisfied with the response as sometimes they can be a bit “oh it’s all fine don’t worry” unnecessarily. In my experiences mums can be worriers but can also have a good intuition about their children too so important to have a chat and find out more x

All sounds totally normal, not ahead, not behind.

What do you mean by doesn't understand weaning? Not interested in food? That's the only "slower" one you've mentioned - but still not behind - a lot of babies don't really take much interest until 9 months or so. And even for the ones who are interested right from 6 months, it can be very slow progress and that's absolutely fine too. Are you breast or bottle feeding? Tried purees or BLW or a combination?

My DS
Sat unaided at 8 months
Commando crawled at 9 months
Crawled in all 4s at 14 months
Walked at 22 months
In other words, he was very behind with gross motor skills (though always ahead in other areas on the ages and stages questionnaire).

He’s now 2.5 and well ahead in all areas according to HV and GP. There is a very wide range for ‘normal’ and your DC doesn’t sound at all behind to me.

Sounds completely normal. It's a big range for development and it's not linear.

Yes he isn't interested in food. I'm bottle feeding. I tried blw and pouches but want to do blw and would only use pouches if needed to go out.

DS didn't sit til 8 months here. He's just started walking at 15 months! You're well within normal parameters for physical milestones.

The weaning would worry me though, he should be on some solid food by now. Do you persevere when he spits things out or gags? They go through a period of fussiness when new textures/lumps are introduced but you just have to keep offering them so they get used to it. I did blw and pouches with DS. He had finger food for lunch and pouches for breakfast and dinner up until he was 11 months old. Don't worry hugely about it though as milk is their main source of nutrition until they're a year. Just try offering him different things to get him started.

What happens when you present him with food? When are you doing it in terms of before/after/between bottles?

When we gave him solids or a pouch he gags then spits it out and gets really worked up. He has his morning bottle of 7-8oz at about 6.30 them he has a bottle at 9.30-10, then at 1ish, then 4.30 and then bedtime. He has water during the day but in a bottle.

I try in the middle so when he has his bottle at 1 I try at 3.30ish etc so I've left about an hour or an hour and half between his last bottle and sometimes it's just before his next bottle

Maybe ask health visitor or GP for advice about offering food. If he's gagging a lot then it might be worth either starting with very smooth purees which you slowly move up from, or it might be worth going completely baby led and letting him explore things on his own terms but not worrying yet about how much is going in.

What purees are really soft? We have tried the Ellas kitchen: sweet potatoes, broccoli and carrots, carrots, peas and pears and the mango baby brekkie. And have tried the apples pouch. All of them have been refused or spat out.

Stop offering a bottle at 1, and at 9:30 until you have offered food. So give him the bottle at 6:30, at 8 sit him down and just give him some bits of food to try whilst you eat something - a finger of toast, or some banana. Then you can give the next bottle after that. Same at lunch - sit him down with you and give him a ravioli or a steamed broccoli floret whilst you eat, then offer the milk only after you’ve given food. If he’s full of milk he’s less likely to want to try, and he’s more likely to try if you are eating too.

We did food 30 minutes after bottle - any later and he was back to being too hungry to eat properly. My DS has always liked crunchy textures so things like breadsticks, rice cakes and those melty puff things. Really good for learning to chew rather than just swallow.

What exactly are you offering him to eat if you say you're doing blw?

Just because I've read on here and come across in real life some mums thinking this means jumping to fairly solid even finger foods straight away when actually much softer foods in blander tastes are more likely to appeal to baby to start them off.

Plus any "method" of teaching a child a new skill isn't going to suit every child (or parent)

From your post at 1605 it sounds like you're actually starting with quite solid foods - have you tried the more traditional weaning starter foods like fromage frais or cereals like weetabix or porridge worked into a smooth puree or very soft puréed fruits or veg like banana or carrot (boiled well and pureed)?

Make your own purees rather than trying ready made things?

Other than that he's doing fine, look at the milestone GUIDELINES from a reputable source to get a ROUGH IDEA of where he should be but remember being "late" to reach certain milestones is rarely a cause for concern.

I was walking at 10 months but my brother was 17 months and baby sister was 21 months before she started walking! Nothing wrong with her except she was lazy and had 2 older siblings and a mum fool enough to fetch and carry for her! 😂😂

Remember a month or so past the guideline is not a reason to panic.

But actually he's well within the range for what you're concerned about anyway.

I tried to give him steamed carrots and steamed broccoli and some steamed cucumber. I started trying when he was 7 months as he wasn't able to sit up when he just turned 6 months and I was told to wait until he can sit up on his own in his highchair. I will try weetabix tomorrow. Do I use formula milk or normal milk?

I would use formula just so the taste of the milk is familiar to him to start with

Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.

The 'average' age for crawling is 10 months, some children skip this altogether.

Mine didn't have any words or many noises at nearly 9 months, the health visitor said that was fine so long as he was responsive - does he look towards sounds, or know his name? He now has 'dada' and 'cat', but I'm not sure when exactly they're supposed to get their first words.

He's always been strong at sitting, but I know a lot of children that are wobbly at 9 months.

For the weaning, it sounds like you're giving him a lot of milk so he won't be hungry? I dropped to 3 bottles during the day at 9 months, at 8, 3 and 6.30, 6oz each time. I always offer food before bottle. Maybe seek help from the HV on the weaning front if you're struggling?

Mine's 9.5 months.

My dd is totally normal and a bright 3 year old..She didn't roll until 18 months and wouldn't touch solids until 10 months. Hv gave me advice, but she was just being stubborn. Doesnt do anything unless she is ready. Same with potty training etc.

Thanks for replies. I give him a bottle at 1 as it's before his afternoon nap (1-3). I'm trying to cut down on milk but I'm worried he won't drink much as it's hard to get him to drink water (he doesn't hold his bottle but not sure if that's what he should do when he's 1 or almost 1). And he sometimes refuses to drink water when we give it to him and I'm worried as he's already small for his age (last week I got him weighed and he was 27inches and 15lbs 14oz not yet doubled his birth weight he's in the 13th percentile)

"I would use formula just so the taste of the milk is familiar to him to start with" yep I'd agree with that.

"The 'average' age for crawling is 10 months, some children skip this altogether." also true I often think they should change it to say something like "moving independently" I never crawled I bum shuffled, dd never crawled she rolled (she was also an early walker) put me a bit in mind of woody from toy story "dropping" when a human appeared 😂 she could be stood at the coffee table having pulled herself up then decide she wanted a toy across the room so would drop to a lying position and roll over to it then sit up and grab it and roll back - she could "drop" quite alarmingly fast sometimes!

I've also a lot of experience caring for others children and I'd say only 1/3 - 1/4 do "traditional" crawling I've seen all sorts!

Also seen a wide variety of development with speech and weaning.

Eg my sister actually has a hearing impairment and yet she was the earliest talker out the 3 of us, bro was the one who took longest to talk and still isn't much of a talker "man of few words" often used to describe him and it used to be a phrase my parents used humorously when he was very small. He didn't speak often but when he did it was important - at that point usually him saying "stop!" When baby sis was trying to take toys off him 😂

We tried to give him weetabix this morning and he spat it out and then started crying.

What does he eat? Try giving him that more, and then introduce other things alongside it. I've found DS doesn't usually take to things well at first.

Try giving him water in a cup or freeflowing beaker? It took ages for DS to get it, but he's getting there (3 months after introducing it).

It's so hard, don't get too disheartened. Definitely seek help from the hv, they should be able to give you some advice.

He doesn't eat anything. I tried to give him toast this morning but he cried again and didn't put it in his mouth.

I've been trying to get him to drink out of a sippee cup but he won't hold it yet and doesn't know how to drink out of it yet. He also won't hold his bottle.