3 week old constantly feeding - I'm struggling

[snazzytoes]

Hi guys

I'm exclusively bf my 3 week old and i've been really struggling the last few days as she seems to want to constantly feed. No sooner have I fed her, burped her and put her down, she wants feeding again. I know that cluster feeding is quite common at this stage but it's really taking it's toll on me as I'm not sleeping and haven't really managed to get out of the house much as the days just seem to get taken over by feeding her. I'm crying lots too and feeling really low as feeling a bit like a dairy cow! Feels like I don't have time/headspace to do anything else - I only just managed to have a shower at about 1pm today!

Just looking for reassurance really that this will pass, or any tips on how to get through it.

Also any insight on whether I should be worried about how low I'm feeling? I do have a history of mental health issues so all getting longer term support from midwives and HVs (although so far that hasn't amounted to much!) but I'm worried that if I continue feeling this low/crying every day then it could have a negative effect on the baby.

Xx

Hi OP sounds like you are doing great! I am a BF peer supporter. Is baby putting on weight? Lots of wet and dirty nappies? It's normal for 3 week olds to feed near constantly. Especially in this heat when breastmilk is both food and water to her. However you may want to get along to a BF support group to get her latch checked. Is it comfortable (ish!) when you're nursing? Also don't worry about not finding time to shower or anything else besides dealing with baby, that is totally normal in the first weeks!! Sending love and encouragement, you are doing great

Hi op.

This was me about 6/7 weeks ago, my boy is now almost 10 weeks and things are so much better.

I really really struggled the first few weeks as it’s just constant but it does get easier.

What I find helped me massively is getting my partner to give our boy a bottle of ebm during the night to allow me a bit more sleep. It’s made such a difference and not sure I could have carried on breastfeeding alone if he didn’t take ebm from the bottle.

I felt really low too and cried constantly but once my sleep improved and got a hand with feeding from partner so did my mood and now we are getting smiles it’s so so much easier. I thought about quitting so many times but bf has became a bit easier too and I am finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel!

Can you get anyone to come and help you out or let you nap ?

I went through this. Very very hard stage to be at. It does pass by 6-8 weeks you’ll feel so much better. You’ll find cluster feeding comes every now & then too. But you find it easier to deal with. Good luck OP hang in there. It’ll be over in a few weeks xx

Thanks so much for your replies - it's really reassuring to know that it's normal and that you guys got through it! Guess I just have to keep telling myself to hang on in there!

@mikewasowskismrs I have definitely thought about expressing so that DH can give a bottle in the night - just need to figure my best pump out! I think I've been resisting it a bit too as was confused about whether it's a good idea in terms of affecting supply etc...

My OH has been amazing at helping out so I can get some rest when possible. I do try to sleep when baby sleeps but sometimes this isn't for very long or annoyingly I'm wide awake. Plus I feel bad for just spending my days feeding and sleeping! Want to try to get out and about!

@commonfishdiseases She's definitely putting on weight and we're getting lots of dirty nappies so I'm not worried about that. I think get latch is ok as not too uncomfortable and the midwives have seemed happy when they've checked it - nipples have got a bit painful the past few days but mainly from the constant abuse they've been getting! I have been meaning to go to a local bf drop in session but just haven't got round to it but definitely need to give it a go.

I think it can be really hard at first, you have done well. Getting out and about can happen, your baby is still very little so I would not worry about that sort of thing.

@snazzytoes

It was the midwives on hospital that told me to pump when he was only a few days old due to jaundice & not getting enough skin to skin. They gave me the medela symphony to use and it didn’t affect my supply at all, in fact I have a great supply.

I had thr medela swing at home which is great (electric and can be used on the go) but I’ve ended hiring the symphony as it is a double pump and you get so much more (I’ve got lots in the freezer too!)

I know thr advice is to wait before breastfeeding is established before giving a bottle but I’ve seen so many mums say by the baby wouldn’t take one.

We gave him ebm in a bottle from week 1 and it’s not caused any problems. He goes from boob, bottle to dummy no problem.

Maybe something to keep in mind if you want to start expressing !

@CommonFishDiseases can I ask you a question? My son is 8 days old and I’m thinking of doing one ebm on an evening. How would you decide when to give this when he just feeds all night?

Get health visitor to check your little one doesn’t have a tongue tie. My youngest wanted to latch on all the time and I was exhausted and I ended up with blisters on my nipples. Turns out he had a tongue tie. Worth a check but sounds like your doing fab!

Hi Giraffe888, tbh at 8 days old baby is definitely going to be feeding through the night (and absolutely should be), so giving EBM for one feed may be hardly worth it given the time it may take you to express (varies mum to mum obvs). Also just bear in mind that bottle feeding in the first 6 weeks of BF can create confusion in babies who then struggle to latch onto the breast (because feeding from a bottle is a completely different action to nursing). Having said that, if you really need a break and want someone else to give a feed, maybe try 10/11pm so that you can go to bed and hopefully get a few hours' sleep! Another idea is to give an early morning BF and then hand baby over to your DP or whoever is helping you so you can go back to bed for a couple more hours. Up to you completely. So much of it is feeling your way in these first few weeks. An amazing book to check out is Sweet Sleep (sleep strategies for BF families) by La Leche League. It has tons of good advice. Hope that helps.

Just wanted to touch on what you said about it affecting baby ...

I had PND, it was awful and I didn't feel a bond with my beautiful baby for the first few months. I was terrified it would affect her, I obsessed about it. But like you're doing now, I persevered and she never went without love, food or whatever she needed. Even if inside I was in pieces.

Fast forward to now (PND long sorted!) and I have the happiest little toddler. She adores me and visa versa. And we get told constantly how happy and cheerful she is.

Please just know you're doing an incredible thing. Your baby will be affected, but not negatively by you crying. They'll be affected by being close to you, happy, nourished and cared for.

It really does get better. Those early days are the hardest but it gets better and easier as you find your way.

I seem to remember a growth spurt at 3 weeks, 48ish hours of non-stop feeding. Another one at 6 weeks, then another one at 12 weeks. They do settle, and the baby is able to go longer between each feed after each one, hurray!

@snazzytoes just wanted to give you an experience that went the other way! I really struggled with the constant feeding, and would give DD a formula feed when I was really struggling. She ended up taking more and more bottles, then around 12 weeks would refuse to breastfeed during the day! I am still trying to breastfeed at night (now 5 months old), but the last week hasn’t gone well. Baby is waking so much during the night. I’ve given in a couple of times, gave a bottle and she will down it! Doesn’t always help her sleep though.
I’ve never asked anyone for help or advice, such as my health visiter. As I always felt like I was going to end up switching with formula. I had the baby blues bad until 9 weeks, and I just struggled with everything tbh... and felt like I left it too late to help my supply.

So, definitely ask health visiter for support with your mood, and the feeding. It does sound like it gets better. I wish that I stuck with it now. But my baby is also thriving on formula too.
Look after yourself, as well as baby! X