My sons so called friend(s) ?!

[Wally1983]

Son 8, in a friendship group of 5. School holidays this last few weeks and he’s barely touched his PS4 - great I thought but turns out 2 out of the 5 have defriended him on it and 2 were on holiday. Turns out 1 of them told the other to block him which really annoyed me. Anyway, son goes to a sleepover last night that (there were 4 of the 5 friends there). My son has come home with bruises all over him...apparently the one that kicked off the blocking on PS4 decided to “wrestle” him because he was handing something to one of the others. Spoke at length with him about how that isn’t how friends treat each other etc and it turns out he’s done it a few times at school too!! I’m fuming! My son did say he ended up hitting him back today but think he was feeling a bit deflated after us speaking to him about bullying and not ever treating someone how he was treated so didn’t go in to depth what happened after he did so.

What do I do? Contact the mum? Leave them to sort it out themselves which I would have always thought I would do but I think this is a bit more than that? He stands up for himself 90% of the time so i’m shocked with this situation. Son thinks all his friends will just stop hanging out with him/talking to him if he stops speaking to the “wrestler” and I have a feeling it will too....(I know they aren’t really friends if they do but it’s a fairly small village and he can’t escape them with the groups they all attend)

I would definitely talk to the mom. That behaviour may be 'boys being boys'but it's just not acceptable. If I were the mother of the son going that, I'd be mortified and try to sort it.

Agree with the previous poster. Speak to the Mum and also the Mum hosting sleepover - is it the same person? - either way, this should not have happened and bullying needs nipping in the bud early. Bullies need to understand the damage their horrible behaviour can cause.

I would speak to them but you don't know how it will go down
I d also work on diluting the friendship group and expanding your sons friendship group- invite other class mates over during the holidays, try a new hobby or sport when school and activities resumes

I agree talk to the mum, and look at expanding his friendship group. Hopefully once he finds a better group of kids he will see less of the ones he has now.
My daughter had similar issues and once she found a few nice friends she has been a different person.

He does have a huge friendship circle and does hang out with more than them but the majority of the time it is them as they all have the same likes and dislikes and the mums are my friends too. He has his own hobbies on top of those with them.

I spoke to the sleepover host at collection yesterday just a general chat really and she feels her son (and others) is a follower and as an ex teacher she feels they have to learn their own backbone so to speak so although would side with a lot I have to say I don’t think her son is experiencing what mine is!

I spoke to the mum about the PS4 blocking and she said oh I just thought they weren’t friends on it because they’ve been going out together etc and I just said I didn’t get it but obviously finding out other things have happened i’m Just a bit unsure how to go forward and approach her because undoubtably her son is going to deny what is/has been going on! My son thinks if I say anything it’s going to make him worse towards him as standing up for himself is already doing so!