Teaching 4 year old to write- tips?

[codenameduchess]

Trying to teach DD, just turned 4 to write her name in readiness for school and it's not going well.

She can trace or connect dots but won't even try to copy letters or write independently. She's been tracing dots for months now, buts it's painful.

If I ask her to try she'll either scribble over the paper or scream and shout at me. She just refuses to try, I'm running out of ways to encourage her without pushing it too hard and worried she's going to be left behind when she starts school as all other kids I know her age can at least write their names (and I'm only asking her to do 4 letters, 2 of them the same).

She's already crap at getting undressed/dressed and not very independent in general despite a lot of encouragement from us and nursery.

Tips from anyone who's successfully done it?

I would leave it for school to teach.

Children often do things for teachers they won’t do for parents. The school won’t be expecting her to write her name, so I’d just leave it.

A huge issue I find in this area is finger muscle development (basically lack thereof!).

If a child does not have sufficient finger muscle development writing will be awkward and painful. Also, the feeling of being "made" to do something does not generally go down while as they are finding their sense of self/independence.

IMO (as an experience nursery manager and primary school teacher) is to have fun following her interests which will naturally involve developing her finger muscles.

The sort of things I mean are: baking (rolling, squeezing, pouring), play dough, fun finger gym exercises (see videos on YouTube), play with stress balls, play with those spray bottles you use to water house plants, play in the dirt/sand (digging, scooping), make crafts etc.

HTH.

Leave her. She will do it when she is ready.

Lots of games with fine motor skills, work on the getting dressed side of things as that’s much more important!

I agree with the fine motor skills but watch you don't confuse her as they should use phonics to teach her to read and write.

As a teacher and mum of two I would say leave it. She will learn when she’s ready and if you push it too much you might put her off. hot choc’s advice is very good.
Also, general mark making tends to come first developmentally, followed by recognisable drawings, then writing.
My youngest is 4 and 7 months and is starting school in September. He’ll be one of the older ones. Until a month ago he showed very little interest in mark making at all. Then he suddenly started drawing careful lines, circles, etc. The next thing I knew he was drawing intricate Pokemon characters with faces, fingers, etc. I was amazed! Then a couple of weeks later he wrote a word or two ‘Batman’ and ‘robin’! (Obvs not spelt correctly, but I could see what it was when he told me!). He can write the first three letters of his name backwards. I did very little to get him to do this apart from provide paper and pens and write his name on the fridge with magnets.
She will get there and when she does it may happen all of a sudden.

I agree with leaving it to the school to teach. When DS was in nursery he was taught to write his name in single unjoined letters. Great... then he started school where they only teach cursive so it was like learning all over again and he found it very difficult to start with. So I would leave it personally as you don't know the method school will teach.

Leave it. It won't remotely be expected and there will be lots in her class who can't write their names when she starts school (or who don't form letters correctly and have to unlearn bad habits). She will learn to write at school.

As PP have said, concentrate on finger muscle development, getting dressed and undressed, going to the toilet independently and recognising her name written down.

Following, my DS is only 3.7 but starting school nursery in September and has no interest in drawing/colouring. He can copy a circle, a line, and if coaxed/guided he can draw a basic smiley face and randomly an "e" from his name but that's it. Won't colour other than big scribbles.

Good to read that mark making is more important, I've bought one of those "magic" colouring pads with a water pen, where the picture appears, and he quite enjoys that, although it's only looked at a couple of times a week.

I let my DD finger pain and left a brush which she used when ready.After finger painting she played with warm soapy water ,jugs,containers at the kitchen sink.Gets their hands nice and clean and gives you time to clear the mess.
Dressin was mixed as she couldn't do up small buttons so she had a pinafore(zip) and Polo shirt moving to a 3/4 sleeve shirt when she mastered then.Also velcro fastening shoes for school.
Behind going to the toilet I dependantly the rest will come.
The child that fills your house with mess and noise suddenly looks smaller in a school uniform.

Leave it. When she's ready she'll probably end up picking it up very quickly. Can she recognise her name? . Writing their name is not a required skill for starting school. Some names are easier than others eg Anna rather than Annabelle.

If you want to encourage writing then doing it on anything other than pen and paper might be the answer. For example drawing in sand, drawing on a steamed up window, drawing on an Aquadoodle. Before my kids started writing letters, they were pretty happy to do other forms of writing like tally charts, ticking a list... The key thing is to strengthen her writing muscles with playing that makes her arms stronger (say using the hose and spraying water ) and ones that make her hands stronger like threading beads on a string.

there's some marks they need to master before being expected to do letters.

plus strengthening fine motor skills