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11 week old baby rarely smiling ..

11 replies

hotcrossbun1989 · 21/07/2019 23:19

Hi all, just looking for some advice as I'm starting to worry myself to death. I'm a first time mum of my baby boy who is 11 weeks and 3 days old. He was born at 38 weeks by emergency c section and ended up back in hospital for a couple of days with anti biotics as soon as he was born. All has been well since. He is a relatively easy baby. Seems very chilled. Only really cries if he is hungry.. which is every 2-3 hours and if his nappy needs changing. Sometimes he will have a general whinge. The main problem is, it is like getting blood from a stone trying to get him to smile. He will probably smile at least once a day I would say, but it doesn't come naturally and you really have to work for it. Now I am worried he may be autistic as when I went for my 6 week check the doctor told me to take him back if he had not smiled in 2 weeks. He does make good eye contact when feeding but isn't overally great at other times. He just seems like a pretty serious baby. His nieces and nephews will try to play with him and talk to him but he will just stare blankly at them. Won't really respond to peek a boo etc. He does love to try and stand up whilst being supported and to try lifting his head (he seems so focused and determined to do this) and he will grab onto my hair and my necklace and will bat around with his hanging toys on his mat and look at himself in his little mirror and He does what I think is cooing. And has now started to put his hands in his mouth. He will sometimes track objects but until he seems to get bored after not very long and sometimes he will be aware that I am there and will look over to me. He will sit in his bouncer and his arms and legs will be kicking about when he is excited.. but not really any smile.
I don't know whether I'm just worrying too soon and to just stay off google lol it's just the whole smiling thing that gets to me as everyone else's babies seem to be smiling their heads off.
Thank you for reading all this :)

OP posts:
bumblebee1987 · 21/07/2019 23:37

Hello! My baby girl is 11 weeks and 2 days, so we're practically birth twins Grin

I am no expert, but I would say, try not to worry. I have a six year old son, and if my daughter has taught me anything, it's that babies are all so so different, my two are absolute opposites. My son cried constantly for 3 years, never smiled, never slept, and obviously we loved him to bits, but he was really really hard work as a baby. My daughter on the other hand, she's really chilled, never cries, smiles a lot and sleeps all the time. My six year old is completely fine now, we think he just hated being a baby!

QueenEnid · 21/07/2019 23:48

Chill @hotcrossbun1989 Some kids just don't smile that much!

My DD hardly smiled at all. She has RBF down to a tee 😂. She also barely spoke until she was gone 2. She's nearly 3 now and doesn't shut up and smiles a lot.

My DS has been a smiler since the beginning.

They're all different. Try not to worry x

evilharpy · 21/07/2019 23:53

My daughter rarely smiled till she was probably well past 2. And rarely made eye contact. I did worry about ASD but now at 4.5 she smiles and laughs from when she wakes up till when she goes to bed. She’s one of the most cheerful children I know, and shows no signs of being anything other than NT.

Easy to say but I really don’t think you need worry about an unsmiling baby, certainly not this early.

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AbbyNormal · 22/07/2019 00:16

Stop consulting Dr Google! DD wasn't much of a smiler until around 11 weeks. At 6 weeks my HV said to see my GP if she wasn't smiling within 2 weeks. At 8 weeks DD had a check-up and I mentioned she had only attempted a half smile a few times and the GP said not to worry yet. She's now almost 11 months and smiles so easily now. Peek-a-boo took a long time for her to get and become fun for her. It's still early days OP. Give it time and I'm sure it will all fall into place.

Smellbellina · 22/07/2019 00:23

I honestly thought smiles were mostly down to wind at that age

cardamoncoffee · 22/07/2019 00:37

It can be a sign of developmental issues but he is smiling, just not very much. The cooing and batting is a good sign. He may just be a very serious soul! A friend of mine had the most serious baby ever, I was sure there was something terribly wrong with her. She would almost stare right through you, seemed disinterested in any attempts to play simple peekaboo games and I don't think I was her smiling before she was a toddler. She's now a (serious) but very healthy, NT teen!

I would take him back to GP so that they can monitor him but I really wouldn't worry too much. Do you have a family history of ASD?

taylorowmu · 22/07/2019 00:44

Please please please just enjoy your baby and stop thinking about autism. Your child is 11 weeks old. Sporadic smiling is normal.

As the parent of autistic children posts like this make me want to scream. However you are a new mum so I kindly advise you just make sure you don't focus on this nonsense.

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 22/07/2019 07:54

I could have written this! My DS didn't smile till late and is a serious soul now. He's perfectly fine, just takes a while to warm up!

CheesecakeAddict · 22/07/2019 07:58

Sounds pretty normal. You have an 11 week old. Dd didn't start to like peek a boo until about 12 months 🤷‍♀️. She's a serious soul.

milleniumhandandprawn · 22/07/2019 08:00

Please try not to worry.
I've a theory that at that age although they "can" do it - as he clearly can, they haven't completely made the connection between moving their face muscles etc and the feedback from other people of doing the same, so it's not completely automatic yet
If you make sure he's surrounded by smiles and laughter it will sink in and become automatic/reflexive (probably not the right word!)

OrchidInTheSun · 22/07/2019 08:05

My child smiled loads as a baby. He's autistic.

Please stop looking for signs that there's something 'wrong' and enjoy him.

On another note, there seems to be an increasing frequency of posts on her from new mums worrying their babies have autism which I find profoundly dispiriting

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