Low libido

[ThisHereMamaBear]

I have a 10 month old DS, blissfull pregnancy but had an episiotomy and two haemorrhages. I also now have a prolapse which I'm waiting to see a consultant about. I say I have a low libido but in truth, I am terrified of having sex. I am very much in love with my dh but the thought of being intimate really worries me. But then I feel like a horrible wife. It's been over 10 months since we have had sex. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Don’t feel horrible at all! After my DS was born I was scared off from sex too and I had a relatively easy birth! If you’re feeling a bit neglectful or wanting to get things going in the bedroom department again why not try other forms rather than just penetrative sex like oral to kick start things and slowly build your confidence back up

Hi OP, episiotomy, prolapse and other complications here. It was over a year before we started having sex again and I genuinely didn't feel even remotely sexy for months and months. I think being honest with your husband is important (and him being honest with you - mine was clearly a bit terrified and traumatised from the birth) and there's no need to rush into intercourse, there's plenty of other stuff you can do when you feel ready. For me it was important to remember that we fancied each other so cheeky snogs in the kitchen, bum squeezes, holding hands when we were out (around the pram obviously!). I also found when our DS starting napping more reliably in the day that certainly helped improve things so we could nip back to bed for an hour!

Thanks @Lollipop82 I feel guilty as at the moment, i'm not wantibg to get things started again but i feel bad for my dh. I had a recent smear test and found it really horrible. I told the nurse how i was feeling, she said i should just go for it with dh but as i've said, the thought scares me!

Thanks @Yogurtcoveredricecake i really like the suggestions of the bum squeeze 😊 if you dont mind me asking, did you do anything re the prolapse?

No, luckily it's not bad enough to require anything doing according to the GP. It's not causing any issues at the moment and I'll see how it goes if we have another baby in future years. I found my smear test really hard - the medicalised, knees up, legs open situation was very triggering.