Babysitting advice needed

[Aimee1983]

First time poster here and also a first time parent. DH and I haven’t had much exposure to babies/children until now, hence the need for advice from the MN community.
We have a 3mo baby and no family around to help us out. Our lovely neighbours have a 16yo daughter, who kindly offered to babysit.
Questions: how old a baby would you leave with a 16yo to babysit? How much would you offer to pay them?

No way would I leave a baby with a 16-year-old. We’re in a similar situation (no family around). We used an experienced HV and now use a nursery nurse.
I would consider a local teen if my child was 5yo+

Babysitter paid £7-£10 p/h.
Would never leave 16y/o with a child under 5y/o

That's far too young IMO. And I think I'm fairly chilled out as a parent. We don't have any family help either - DP's parents are dead and mine are three hours away. We just make the most of our evenings once baby is in bed, and go out separately. It won't be forever

No, both are too young! Maybe try sitters or childcare.co.uk.

There is a babysitting app you can use and I’ve completely forgotten the name of it - I downloaded it and deleted in error. If I can find it I’ll update. However, sitters are DBS (CRB) checked and are reviewed by other parents who have used them. You’d be able to find someone with experience of babies for extra piece of mind, as I’d be a tad unsure about leaving such a young baby with a teenager - I know there are some very mature teens and also mums of that age, but I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable.

I also get it is so important to carve out time for you both, so I’d suggest the app. The sitters already have their rates on too. Some are teachers and nursery nurses, which is reassuring.

It’s called bubble.

Would the 16YO change a nappy if the baby pooped whilst you were out? If not then it’s not an option. If they are willing to do it then I’d personally only do it once the baby was reliably sleeping through the night and when going out locally so you could be home quickly if the baby did wake and wouldn’t settle.

I haven't used baby sitters as we have family.
But if I had to I would use a 16yo neighbour (partly as their mum / parents would probably be home next door and assist if any emergency happened).

I think from a year old, or once baby is sleeping through the night. You could put baby to sleep and he / she may not wake for a few hours until you're home anyway. I would pay £10 per hour, for a neighbour as you won't need to drive them home afterwards which is a perk 😊

I was babysitting an 8 month old when I was 13! 16 is old enough as long as baby sleeps reliably and she’d know what to do if baby did wake up. If she’s your neighbour see if she could come round during the day to get to know the baby a bit so she wouldn’t freak out if he woke up, and the baby would be with someone they know.

£5 an hour and a pizza :)

I'm surprised at some of these comments. When I lived in the UK I knew a handful of 16/17 year olds who were parents, and coworkers who had babies at that age.

I was babysitting six month olds from the age of 12 on, with no incidents. Is the babysitter mature? Intelligent? Used to babies? If they had a bunch of younger siblings and are used to childcare I wouldn't really hesitate. Have them over a few times now with you for a couple hours (paid) between now and whenever you're comfortable going out and see how they do, get them used to baby?

I would say that for me to have a peace of mind, the babysitter needs to know how to handle a small baby that eg still can’t reliably hold their head, be able to change nappies and clothes, feed, settle, be able to recognise if something might be medically wrong and they need to call us. I just wouldn’t trust a 16yo to have enough maturity and know-how for my liking.

And it’s different from a teen mum. It’s abot someone being able to handle a paid job to an appropriate standard.

I’d leave a 16year old I knew and trusted to babysitter a toddler who I knew slept through the night - I wouldn’t leave any 16year old with a temperamental 3 month old who can wake continuously , have trapped wind and need burping etc

I'd leave a 16 year old with an over 6 month old who would sleep through/until we got back. Our regular babysitter started sitting for our then 1 year old when babysitter was almost 15, and has been fab for the last 2 years. I still wouldn't leave her with a 3 month old as I'd feel terrible if she had to change nappies/if baby was up all night.

Thanks everyone for your input.

It would only be once in a blue moon for a few hours whilst we pop out locally. Also, as mentioned by one of the posters, the girl’s parents will be next door if anything urgent/help needed - that’s a big plus. We’re not desperate to have someone to babysit and would be happy to get a professional in, if needed (will try bubble, thank you), but the neighbour offered, so I wanted to get some thoughts from MN. I had a full time job when I was 17, but it seems that the world has moved on a lot since then, so I thought I’d better ask others...

Personally, I would be fine with this, particularly if her parents were home. I'd probably ask her to look after the baby whilst I was home and doing some house work or something first, just to check she wasnt out of her depth, but I would do it. At 15 I was babysitting for next doors 5 children, who were all under 10.

There's no way I'd let my son be looked after by any babysitter at 3 months old! 12 weeks old is far too young. Even now, at 9 months, I'd be very hesitant to leave him with anyone who's not family and spent loads of time with him.