New mum...so many feelings...when will I feel more normal?!

[ryanreynolds]

I had a baby 4 weeks ago. Had the usual day 3 rollercoaster (although in day 5) but even since then I don't feel quite like myself!

Before giving birth, I was pragmatic, head over heart, sensible, boring etc!

Since having the baby im anxious a lot of the time, have nightmares about falling down the stairs with him, and can't face leaving him, even for a couple of hours.

Despite trusting DH completely and utterly, I've just turned down his offer to do the night shift (baby is FF), as, despite my head, I can't get rid of the knot of anxiety in my stomach at the thought of leaving the baby overnight (to go to the spare room!)

When can I expect to go back to more usual self?! Or has giving birth changed me forever?! Any advice...should I be forcing myself to leave baby with DH more?!

Everything you feel is normal, I felt like this and each day gets easier. I think it's just what unconditional love feels like.

Treasure every moment as hard as it is, as it will soon fly by.

I think 3 months was a turning point for me. Maybe the whole fourth trimester thing is real? But talk to your health visitor if you feel you're not coping because the anxiety sounds tough. Congratulations on your baby!

Agree with PP - my baby is now nearly 10 months and I definitely felt like you describe until around 3 months, by 4 months I was feeling back to myself and i felt more normal every day.

I wish I’d been a bit easier on myself as it passed quickly but it felt like it was so slow and I didn’t like not feeling like myself. Looking back it was such a short period and everything changes so quickly in baby time!

Take care and try not to put yourself under pressure to be back to ‘normal’ xx

It's very normal what you're feeling. Felt like this for the first few months with first and the first couple of months with second. Hormones sure are a....well you know what I mean! It'll get easier, and if it doesn't, pop to see your GP. Good luck and congratulations.

Thank you all for the reassurance it's normal...DH was also trying to say the same earlier but he hasn't done this before either!

I don't know what i expected from being a mum...certainly not anything quite as all encompassing though...!

Definitely take up your DH’s offer of a nights sleep though, it might make a lot of difference to how you’re feeling. And your DH can do some nice bonding.
Congratulations on your baby!

Nobody, nobody, can prepare you for the almighty life shift that becoming a mum brings.

I felt SO overwhelmingly protective of my first born. As you said - all encompassing -It overshadowed anything else. I think I started to feel better around 6 weeks (smiles helped so much!), then I can remember another boost at 10 weeks and by 12 we were good.

But I also had heightened anxiety after both of my DC, hyper-vigilance I think. It lasted about 12 months and gradually went away of it's own accord.
Keep an eye on it & definitely discuss it with your health visitor or GP if you feel it's escalating.

Congratulations on your new baby

Very normal. The thoughts of some harm coming to your baby is frightening but should subside within a few weeks, if not then you could speak to your HV about them (they are incredibly common though so try not to worry).

You have probably changed forever tbh but the volume of change is rankled up to deafening atm and again it will wane over the next few weeks.

They grow so quickly so try to savour the moments and relax about things if you can.

Congratulations and good luck 😉

Congratulations on your baby!

I think I cried every day for 8 or 9 weeks. The day I managed without crying felt like a turning point and it got better from then. The hormones and sleep deprivation are awful. I used to do all the nights because I wanted to but if you can get a decent nap it really helps!

Congratulations. The only thing you should be forcing yourself to do is rest. Enjoy the cuddles and stay in if it helps those noxious feelings.

4 weeks is very early and your baby doesn’t need any extra stimulation yet. Just you, a milk source and lots of cuddles.

It is overwhelming. I felt exactly the same. Your hormones are still in overdrive, telling you to worry and protect and care for your helpless little baby.

You won't always feel like this. Ride the wave, try to sleep and eat etc. get yourself through it.

Very normal. I remember having really intrusive thoughts when I walked over bridges that I'd accidentally push the pram off the side and other things, really odd OTT things. My husband told me that it was probably my brain making me h u per aware of the dangers so that I'd be even more careful on bridges and it meant the more I worried about walking down the stairs with her or whatever, the more careful I was being and it was going to stop me actually doing it accidentally. It really helped to analysis my thoughts like yet hat for the first few weeks.

Also, day 5 is an absolute killer. I just cried and cried and couldn't leave the house as I was scared of anything happening my DD. She's 1 now and those days feel so long away. She's robust and happy and playful and it's all so different so quickly.

By being worried of these hypothetical worries, it basically means you are being a great mum!

Again, thank you all - really! All I knew of before hand was day 3/5 baby blues and then PND (had even googled PND to see if that's what was going on)...will continue to just do as I'm doing (and maybe even let DH do a night next weekend!!) x

Hope you feel better soon. If it lingers for more than a few more weeks I'd go see a GP just to check in. It will still probably be fine but if it is PND/PNA then getting onto it early is the best thing to do.

I still feel abit like that after 4 months, I feel more depressed and emotional though. It does get better though.. it’s what comes with giving birth to your beautiful child, your not alone babe x

You are so not alone! My baby blues lasted about 3 weeks and everywhere you read says 2 weeks which spooked me even more as I was then worried I had PND.
You need a long uninterrupted sleep. Trust me from experience - after I had a couple of these I did feel a bit better - not a miracle but better. Let OH have baby despite the anxiety, use a sleep mask and ear plugs too so you zone right out.
If you cant face that at night then let him Take baby downstairs one morning and leave you in bed for a long lay in x