To think I'm not her babysitter?

[Tsubasa1]

I have a neighbour who Ive been friendly with for a year or so. Her daughter is a little younger than mine and they are both 2 years old.
As a neighbour and friend there are a lot of things that have annoyed me in the past, such as her calling me to give her a lift and other ways she tries to take advantage of our friendship. She's very jelous because I have a car and she's always complaining that she doesn't have a car and has to take the bus. Always dropping hints. However she's also kind and offers to help with things but I've never taken help from her because to be honest I don't consider her a close friend and I'm wary of helping her and getting close to her because of how demanding she can be.
The other day she knocked on my door to ask for a mop bucket and her daughter ran inside as usual. I offered to let her stay for a bit and she went home but she didnt come back within an hour so I called her to take her back, especially because her daughter constantly harrasses my newborn baby touching/kissing etc while my other daughter tries to stop her. Then 4 days later my neighbour comes and askes me for the bucket, then says "are you free?" Then i say "no im not Im about to cook dinner", then she says "let my daughter stay with you for half an hour while i clean my floor". Well at this point im fuming because ive clearly said im not free to take care of her daughter and shes crossed a boundry for me. Am I right to be upset and think shes taking advantage of me? Even if shes a friend is she right to send her daughter to mine when im already struggling with my 1 month old and 2 year old?

She probably thinks if you've already got two, one more won't make any difference. But you're quite right to be upset. She's a CF.

Also it annoys me that she has a little porch area and we have a garden upstairs and when I'm out playing with my kids she sends her 2 kids outside and I end up having to watch them all while she's at home. I feel like her kids should play in the porch area and not come to our garden, or at least she shouldnt leave it to me to watch her kids and she should be outside. But she only send her kids outside if she knows im in my garden because she knows I'll watch them. I think its really sneaky of her to do that. I feel I can't go to my garden anymore, I feel constantly watched. I also feel watched when I come and go in my car to and from places. She always tries to come to our house when my sister in laws are round to try and be friends with them (texting me and calling me or coming to my door), even though they dont like her! I feel ive made a dreadful mistake befriending her!

Thanks for your reply, I thought maybe I was being mean but I see someone agrees with me!

I don't feel like anything she does is that bad. Just say no if you can't or don't want to do something for her, and suggest she gets her own mop bucket.

Don't lie and don't pander.

If you're "fuming" about something (like her asking you to watch her DD for 30 min) then I can't understand why you didn't just say no; it's not your problem if her DD gets upset etc. I'd have no problem having her child for 30 min here and there, whether she was being a CF or not - tbh I do for my neighbour anyway (but her daughter is only just 1) if she wants to pop to the supermarket etc. I have no guilt about saying no when I don't want to, because I know I'm not obligated (and would tell her as such if she got in a huff).

Also, when your SILs are over, just say "sorry, I'm busy, SILs are here. I'll pop over later for a cup of tea". What's so hard about that?

Its interesting to hear a different perspective. I guess I will have to say no in the future. You seem very generous with your neighbour tbh. I just dont have the patience to take care of other peoples kids or be available to give them lifts on demand.

I have no patience with that sorr of person. Just say I'm not your babysitter and please leave us alone.

You have to be firm otherwise she will continue taking the mick. No means no.

She's a CF for not getting her own mop and bucket!

My experience of this type of person is that you are going to have to be very firm. People like this are a bit all or nothing.

Don't wait until she next asks a favour; go round and knock on her door and explain that you've got a lot on your plate and that it puts you on the spot when she turns up. You will no longer be able to help her out. Try and be pleasant but firm.

Sorry if my post was a bit harsh in tone last night! I missed the lifts thing and that would annoy me more than the rest of it.

And I suppose it helps that I actually like my neighbour.

Thanks to everyone who replied, it's clear what I have to do! Be firm!

Be brisk but smiley. ' Off you pop back to your house'

Agree, you have to be very firm and explicitly say no.

What's the worst that could happen? You offend her, and she stops talking to you?

Result!