help what to do with a toddler all summer

[gingernutlover]

i teach 3 days a week and normally fill my 2 days off esily with toddler groups and visiting friends but help, 6 weeks off work and i am really not the most naturally maternal person, dd is lovely but at 23 m her conversational skills are nil and I hate to say it but a couple of days in and i am tearing my hair out at home

any ideas of things i can do to keep her busy, i really really want to enjoy this summer but at the moment feeling a little fed up and tiny bit resentful at the fact that i cant enjoy the summer hols the way i used to before baby - dont shoot me down please

had severe pnd when dd was tiny and i find it so hard to spend time with her just the 2 of us in the house

hi all thanks for the advice and support once again took dd to the HV's clinic and playgroup for a couple of hours yesterdxay morning and met up with a friends there who ended up coming back for lunch, that was lovely and the 2 dd's played nicely together in the garden as they are only a month different in age, then after her nap i took her to the swimming pool and she actually enjoyed it, splashing and kicking at playing, it was a nice quality hour or so together and i did enjoy her for that time which is good.

i know what you mean about not entertaining them all the time, and at weekends when dh is here she does amuse herself for ages with dollies jigsaws etc, it's as if the minute monday morning arrives, she starts a full on grump and clings to me - frustrating but as another mum said to me yesterday at creche, sometimes you just have to dig your heels in and they will get fed up with winging and go and play, which actually she did - it's just the whole mummy guilt thing i guess, thinking i should be overjoyed to be with her every second of the day.

today i have a gym induction (dh has joined us up as part of the sports club membership) and dd normally goes to nursery on a weds/thurs/fri when i work so i fugured since i pay for it all year round, she may as well go for the day and i shall enjoy my gym and maybe the jacuzzi after .

I have to really fight dh for this time though cos he thinks i should not send her to nursery when i am not at work - beginning to think he is causing a lot of my worries and stress over dd actually and that i need to stand up to him and say "yes she's going to nursery 2 of the three days this week and i will enjoy the 3rd day taking her out somewhere. Is it me or is it not wrong to still send her even when i am not working? I pay £44 a day for the place and get no refund for school hollidays etc so seems a waste of money to not use it a bit, especially if it keeps me sane, and also somone said to me yesterday that if i was to take her out for the whole summer she would possibily get out of the habit and find it hard to settle again in sept

crikey, sorry that was sooo long, feel free to ignore

If you want to send her to nursery then do.

Point out to your dp that this gives you time to get extra 'jobs' done and the ruining her routine thing.

Easy for him to say don't do it - he's not looking after her.

Glad you had a better day yesterday.

Keep it up

Hi, I'm a teacher too and would go completely bonkers if I did not use nursery over the summer hols. Am in the same situ with reagrd to paying for it. Dd (2.7) has been going 2 or 3 days during the hols - keeps her in the routine and she sees her friends and gives me space to be myself which then means I can be a better mum when she's around. Don't feel guilty

gingernutlover - this was how i felt too and i can tell you that next summer when she is nearly 3, you'll be loving it - i never thought i would, but it genuinely is great now.
ok - not a lot of point telling you this at moment, so my advice is:

1. go out (agree with all who said this)
2. be around other mums
3. be around grandparents
4. get a sandpit thing and sit and watch your beloved in the garden, amused for hours
5. use cbeebies to give yourself a break
6. involve hubby as much as poss (working in office is nowhere near as hard as being at home all day). he does bathtime?? HTH

gingernut, my ds is 25 months so a very similar age. I find looking after him mostly incredibly tedious. The only way I can cope is by getting out of the house - he loves going on the bus so we do completely pointless trips into town just because he enjoys it and it's so much easier than entertaining him at home.

If she enjoys swimming, why not take her 3 times a week? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

As to not putting her in nursery, ridiculous. I'm sure she enjoys it and why shouldn't you have a bit of 'me' time. Plus as you say, the risk of having to re-settle her in September. I think your dh needs to wind his neck back in a bit. Until he's looked after her on his own for a number of days in succession, he has no idea what he's talking about!

A good tip I got from DS's v. experienced nursery teacher is that she thinks its benficial for young children if you let them play around you while you are reading the paper - it teaches them to be more self-sufficient.

I think that now that most of us have fewer children and washing machines rather than tubs and mangles its easy to think that we should be entertaining them 24 hours a day, but thats just not realistic. I think the problem with an 18 month - 2 year old is that they need lots of supervision, but aren't very good company. 3 year olds are IMO stroppier, but are better conversationalists. Don't feel guilty for not enjoying everything your 2 year old does - you are an adult, your aren't supposed to enjoy turning the taps on and off all day long.

Anyway thanks for starting the thread, because there are some great suggestions!

My dd(2) just spent an hour washing-up her tea-set in the garden. I filled a bowl with water and bubbles, gave her a sponge and tea towel, put a pinny on her and left her to it. I kept coming back every few minutes to tell her what a good job she was doing.

I also find that if I spend 10-15 minutes reading with her or playing with playdough, she is happy to carry on playing on her own for an hour or so.

It is difficult and I wish I could be one of those mums who finds 2 year old play enthralling, but I am not so do the best I can.

lol at turning the taps on and off

dh is helpful, he does bath and bed a few times aweek, especially if i have been at work or he can see i am fed up, he does a physical job though climbing over roofs and up and down ladders everyday so wouldn't expect him to come home every night at put her to bed, we try and share it.

and he has been a bit better about the nursery in the holidays thing recently but i think he doesn't want to complete;ly retract what he had previously said for fear of losing face

i really think that when she is just that little bit older i probably will enjoy her more, she is just so flipping whingy at times it dirves me mad, another reason why it is best to go out

all your ideas are lovley, but my god if you have got a 2 year old who will let you read a book while they play .......

can i swap them with dd who requires to be held or sat with all day every day

i think perhaps i/dh/grandma have spoiled her a bit and it might be time for letting her have a whinge for 5 minutes, never know she might go and play lol

I found that it is only in the last couple of months ds will take himslef off to play.

He's not one for letting you sit and read a book either You're supposed to be watching him apparently.

Unless he's confined in the bath.

Glad your dh seems to have had a change of heart.