Not wanting to sing?

[chocolatecravings]

My DS is 3 weeks old and I feel guilty singing to him, I just cant bring myself to do it because all the songs I think of are the ones I sang to my DD and so i feel really strange about it. Am I being weird?

Yes. Not sure I understand why you don’t want to sing the same songs?

Are you feeling OK lovely?

Doesn't make much sense, sorry x

Did you lose your DD? If so, then I'm so sorry, you probably have to deal with all sorts of emotions which others can't imagine.

I used to sing linkin park to DS as I didn’t know any nurseryrhymes. Sing owt you like.

We are connected by our shared memories. Singing your children the same songs will bring them closer, even if they never meet

Where is your dd now?

No sorry DD is absolutely fine just older. She is nearly 4. I don't know why I feel strange about it, it's just whenever I go to sing to him I just feel awkward and can't do it, like I shouldn't be doing the same things that I did when she was a baby? like if I do I'm almost replacing DD somehow or making the songs less special to her?

Do you not feel the sense of continuity in getting to do the same things again?

Well, it's not like you're giving him one of her favourite toys - songs are something that can be shared without diminishing anyone's share!

Maybe you and your DD could sing to him together? The songs could maybe be something she can really happily share with him?

I think it's nice to share songs. At my grandads funeral they played the 'catch a falling star and put it in your pocket' song and I didn't know where I knew the song from but he used to sing it to all his grandchildren and that's how I knew it. I love that we all think of him when we hear or remember that song.

It's quite unusual to feel like this.

Do you have other things that you feel guilty or sad about that other may not?

Singing can be quite an emotional thing, imo - and 3 weeks post partum it's not unusual to have somewhat odd emotions going on, is it?

My guess is this feeling will pass, try not to worry about it now.

But you’re not replacing your dd? Do you feel that way more generally?

I sang to my babies but don’t sing to them now so they have no concept of special songs just for them.

I have never sung lullabies to my DC. My mum used to sing them to me & my sibling when we were young. Mum died years ago, well before DC , but it's just too painful.

Well how about thinking of it as being fair.
So you are now treating your new baby in the same way as your first child in order to give them equality of experience, to give them the same opportunities and love?

Or sing different songs...would you like some ideas to broaden your repertoire?

Yes I like that idea of singing together to the baby that's nice. Yes I feel guilty a lot and it was always a worry when I was pregnant how I would feel about him compared to my first. Thank you all for giving me perspective though, it's nice hearing your thoughts