Does anyone else have to put a toe up their dh/DP's arse to get them to DO anything with the DC's at the weekend?

[Bubble99]

OK. We both work. We run our own business. He works at work and I do paperwork/menu planning and ordering etc from home. And all the housework.

I am at home with DS4 (9 months) and with DS3 for half of the day (other half at our nursery.)

In addition we have two older DC's who, at the moment, are at home for the school holidays.

I know he thinks that 'at home' means easy. Grrrrrrr! He grew up in a house with a cleaner, ironer and outside laundry service, so he only ever saw his mum doing 'light dusting' Love that term.

I do the night get-ups, which are, at the moment, 4 am and 6am.

At the w/ends I get up with all four DC's and then wake him at 9am when the baby and I go back to bed for a sleep.

I WISH I could wake up at 10.30 ish on these mornings to find that he'd taken the others out to the park or something. But no, he'll be sitting there with them watching TV/fighting/watching TV and moaning that

'he needs a weekend.'

Thanks for listening.

Anyone?

Support please!

sorry my dp is fab when he has a day off and I thank the good lord.
Can you split the weekend so you both have some time on your own.

Thanks for replying, ggirl.

I was thinking of that today. I'm still BF DS4, but I could express?

To be fair, he does baths, bedtimes, cooking for kids and some of the school drop offs/pickups.

I think what's getting to me is his idea that working at home must be easy. And that he needs to rest on the weekends more than I do.

Your DP does sound fab, BTW.

a toe? I have to use dynomite! and even then he just turns the TV on and they sit together in front of it like a couple of bookends!

I'm a SAHM and he does a silly commute and a stressful job so he does need time off at the weekend. but today the only childcare he did was read a badtime story whilst I cuddled dd and he made it clear that it was a chore for him!

My dh is the same. He goes out to work but I do outwork from home for a print-finishers that I have to fit in around everything else even if it means staying up half the night. If I have to go anywhere at the weekend and leave dh in charge of the dcs I just know they will spend the whole time in front of the tv or computer. Even if the weather is gorgeous it doesn't occur to him to take them out. It makes me so cross especially as he then complains that ds who has ASD is being unruly. Well what does he expect?
He's a great dad in most ways but this winds me up because it's just laziness. I get bored witless sitting in parks too but I do it for the kids' sake.
Oh I could rant on for hours but I won't, I just wanted you to know you are not alone .

Thanks, entropy.

I'm off to bed now, even though I don't do anything during the day. Grrrrr.

We do miss having time alone together when we split weekends.If dh has a whole weekend off he may want to play golf one day ,so as a trade off I'll have an afternoon shopping the other day.It definately helps with my sanity.
I think it's a case of both of you needing time to yourself,chill time.

We still have stupid arguments about who's the most tired.In the end we have to agree we're both in need of time out.

Sounds like my dp, last 2 weekends he has disappeared for about 4-6 hours on one day and gone t gym/exercise on the other. Leaving me with all dcs (both work very full time!)

Dh does like to be "home" for some of his weekend, because he doesn't see much of home during the week.

When I only worked at home I liked being out, because I saw WAY too much of the place during the week.

Now I do work a little bit out of the home and find that I like the Sunday morning not going out thing too!

10.30 isn't too late to go to the park surely and then you would get a double rest!

On Saturday we all go to ds's music classes (I can't carry a cello, music and chair all by myself), but most of the other parents at the group class are men who are presumably giving their wives some time off. I see the mother's once a year at the concert so I know they exist. Now you are not telling me that 10 men all decided to take their children to music class. I bet the wives booked it and told them they were going!

So is there something you can book them in for which will exhaust them so that they sit meekly in the afternoon while he is "at home" doing his at home things to give himself a weekend. It really is more sensible to wear them out and then put the TV on than expect children to not be full of beans in the morning.