Until recently our kids have got along great.
The last 6 months things have started to slide a bit. Our DD has started to do things like lose her temper and push her little brother when he is bothering her instead of asking us for help.
Yesterday we had the PIL's visiting, took DD to the movies with just DH and I as a reward for all the great school work she has been doing for the holidays, Grandma watched DS and Pa went out somewhere else.
Got home DD starts to get super loud and demanding of attention, hard to calm her down except when DS was napping. Pa got back and immediately she was trying to get his attention (he is not really interested in the kids at all and favours our DS as he is an easier, calmer child to start with). The night ended with DD fighting for attention, trying to block her brother out of what she was doing, Pa saying she was dumb, me literally wanting to rip his head off (we have a strained r/ship) and raising my voice at him about not calling her dumb, her running to her room, little brother following and then her pushing him and hurting him.
Finally when she was allowed out of her room she comes out and immediately starts the attention grabbing behaviour like yelling or doing things she shouldn't.
I spoke to her last night and she said it makes her happy when she makes him laugh and be happy but when he is sad or hurt it doesn't really bother her. This reflects what I have seen too.
I am out of ideas, we already do stuff with just her and I work hard to build a loving relationship between the two children. Has anyone else had this and did it just work out or what did you do to try and fix it?
Thank you so much.