Don't know what to do

[Liland]

Sorry it's long. I'm really losing hope here.

LO is almost 6 months. He has diagnosed reflux (takes omeprazole) and CMPA (has nutramigen). He projectile vomits at random (no pattern for which bottles of the day, and can be during the bottle or any time up until the next feed) up to 3x per day. This would be manageable, but he also has a feeding aversion, and now only feeds while asleep. This means he grizzles and cries (occasionally screams) until he's drowsy or asleep, and then I can feed him. It takes a while... He takes 120-150ml 5x during the day (plus once extra for each vomited bottle) and has one piddly night feed of 60ml.

I was instructed to wean early. Been trying for a month on a few single veg or fruit purees. Every single time he chucks it up immediately. I'm going to call the gp tomorrow, but despite his existing issues, itll take months for a non urgent paediatrics referral.

I'm at my wits end. I've been working full time since he was 3 months. I am employed to work from home - employers know and support me having LO here, although I do send him to nursery 3 mornings a week (used to be 2 full days but they cant feed him either). I cant quit, or take a leave of absence, as they are a micro company and I have a very specialised role which pays most of the mortgage, and while they are supportive, I have no doubt they'd manage to get rid of me no problem if they needed to for the business. It was made clear to me that my maternity leave, while fully paid at regular salary, would have to be short. They've hired me an assistant but he's worse than useless...

I thought LO would be getting better by now. Aside from feeding, he is outrageously happy all the time. He is tracking with his birth percentile after a dodgy few months, and while he's not a dream sleeper at 8-9 hours a night with one feed and a few wakes for comfort, I think he's pretty good (albeit in bed with me - elsewhere is a very different story).

Maybe it's me. I'm anxious all the time and feel on verge of breaking down. It's making me physically ill. My relationship with DP is teetering on the brink as I'm wound so tight. He is mostly pulling his weight and supportive to be fair.

I'm so sad to be posting this, but I dont know how I'm going to make it through another 6 months (when I hope he will do his own milk and be drastically better?), let alone another day. I feel like a failure, that this is too much for me to handle. LO means the entire world to me, and I dont know how to make it better for him.

Get them to check it is not pyloric stenosis.
All the best.

Thanks - I was told the vomit would be curdled and quite digested in that case? What's coming up is mostly the same thin consistency of normal milk. Slightly thicker when he's really retching at the very end to get it out, but not lumpy.

We've had a few hospital admissions for poor weight gain. Every time we see anyone they feel his stomach and pronounce it nice and squashy. He hasnt been constipated since he started the nutramigen. And he was never sick this badly until he started the reflux medication.

You poor thing. I’m a little surprised by one thing - you say he was never sick before his reflux medication. Could he be allergic to it? I assume you have tried other types of formula as well, just in case there is something in that one that does not suit him? The feeding aversion rings alarm bells for me, it might be that he doesn’t want to feed because feeding is unpleasant because he reacts to it. If he was not sick before the reflux medication, would it be possible for him to come back off it? How long has he been taking it?

(I feel for you for the hospital admission for poor weight gain. We had a very different set of issues with DD and not till she was a year old, but I know how incredibly crap you feel in those appointments)

He's had ranatidine and omeprazole. The ranatidine came first and made a massive improvement, before then he was in constant pain. It wore off after a couple of months though, despite increasing the dose with his weight. Ranatidine maybe 6 weeks, omeprazole since month 3-4? It all blends in now.

We went through all the standard formulas, anti reflux and comfort, and he couldn't poop for 10 days at a time, he was in agony.

We recently tried weaning him off the omeprazole with bad results.

The feedng aversion we think was developed through force feeding when he wouldn't drink, before he had the meds and prescription milk. The drs, nurses and HVs refused to help until he lost more than 2 percentiles and said to continue forcing him... Since then it seems to be learned behaviour, he is clearly not in pain anymore. He is really happy after he's finished being sick, and hungry again soon after. There's a programme we could follow to try to reverse it, but apparently he would lose a bit of weight and not drink much over 2-3 weeks while he learns to take milk when it's offered and he is hungry, and I'm afraid to...