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Original poster

Take toddler out of nursery while on long mat leave?

20 replies

BeckieMc · 09/07/2019 22:30

Will be on mat leave 18 months (taking career break) My 19 month old has been in nursery for 6 weeks only 1 day per week as I had to do more days in work. My mum currently has her 1 day mil 1 day. I'm due to go on mat leave in 2 months. Should I take her out nursery?

She cries when she goes but photos and videos suggest she has a good day. The nappy situation freaks me out to be honest she always has nappy rash and I don't feel like they change her enough. I don't think I will ever be happy with strangers changing my kids and might wait until they are potty trained to go nursery.

Will I regret taking her out and waiting until she's older once the new baby arrives when I have no sleep? Don't know what to do. My mum said she will still have her 1 day while I'm off so I can still have some time with new baby

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Oly4 · 09/07/2019 22:33

I took mine out and actually swapped nurseries before i went back to work. My child was older by then and far happier to go, and the new nursery was better. Save yourself the cash and take your eldest out, especially if your mum is still offering to have them one day a week. That’s bliss!

mummTum · 09/07/2019 22:34

Its only one day a week so I would stick with it; to get her used to nursery and have some time with the new baby. Although if possible 2 half days might be easier on both of you?

RaiderGirl94 · 09/07/2019 22:35

I think nursery is great for kids to interact with others her own age. It gets her ready for school. I would probably keep her going. It’s only one day per week

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FrederickCreeding · 09/07/2019 22:36

Yep, take her out. If you'll be happier and she'll be happier and you'll also save money then it's a no brainer!

notso · 09/07/2019 22:57

I'd take her out if you don't need her to go there.
I don't think they get anything from nursery they can't get from toddler groups, classes and you.

Teddybear45 · 09/07/2019 22:59

I would say 1 day a week is not enough to build a routine. For the child to gain benefit from nursery you need at least 3 consecutive days / half-days. If you’re not doing that then you might as well take her out.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/07/2019 23:00

If you don’t like your nursery then you could look to swap. Every child is different, my child loves nursery and is thriving.
I would imagine if I had a second and was chained to breastfeeding (like I was my first) I would feel better knowing my other child was getting stimulation and activity in nursery

GroggyLegs · 09/07/2019 23:02

I kept my older child in nursery one day to maintain his routine and to give me time with the baby, but he'd been going for a year by then.

I do also think they get a lot from the same interaction with other children in a structured environment.

If you're unhappy with the quality care, that's a different issue & I'd consider swapping settings irrespective of whether it's now or in 18 months time.

Sunshinegirl82 · 09/07/2019 23:10

DS1 has just turned 3 and DS2 is 10 weeks. DS1 has been at nursery 3 days a week since he was 13 months and he is staying in whilst I'm on mat leave.

It's been great knowing he is having fun and being entertained whilst I have some quality time with DS2. I'd be inclined to say wait to decide until DC2 arrives and you know how things are going.

DS1 has never had nappy rash due to nursery and is changed really regularly there. I'd be raising that with them and if it didn't improve I'd switch nursery.

Original poster

BeckieMc · 09/07/2019 23:31

Thanks everyone for your responses. I love how the nursery debate always divides opinion - although I'm that means I'm still confused what to do 😂

I'm going to ask them to change her more when she's in on Thursday and see how I feel. I can't put her in 2 half days at the min because of work hours but if she's still struggling to settle I could when I'm off although if she's still crying when I drop her off and I'm off I know I'll feel too guilty and take her out

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/07/2019 23:33

I'd keep them in. It's 1 day per week and presumably the DM / MIL arrangement will stop when you are on mat leave so you may appreciate one full "baby day".

Caterina99 · 10/07/2019 15:07

Nursery for my 2 year old DS saved my sanity when I had my second child. He only did 2 half days a week though and I had no other help. He also absolutely loved it and still goes to the same one 2 years later.

If your DD doesn’t seem to like it, you have your concerns anyway, and you don’t want her to go back to that nursery after your leave then take her out. Ask your mum and mil if they can still have her a morning each or whatever per week to give you some time with the baby.

I just felt there were days when I was literally sat on the sofa in a sleep deprived haze feeding the newborn all day. At least DS was doing fun stimulating things at nursery and not sat at home with me destroying the house and watching endless paw patrol.

Nuttyaboutnutella · 10/07/2019 15:12

Can you look at Changing the hours to two half days a week when you're on maternity? I actually started my 2 year old just before my dc2 was born. He's been going for two months and is loving it there. We had our reasons for it but I like the fact he's having stimulation and socialising. We're actually increasing his time there in September.

I've recently seen the benefits to nursery for him personally. Just see how it goes. I'd definitely talk to them about the nappy changes though.

chloechloe · 10/07/2019 20:53

She may well be struggling to settle as she’s only going once a week and just not getting into a routine. I would take her out in your circumstances, I don’t see the point in her going for just 1 day if she’s not settling and you’re not happy. At least you still have 2 days where she’s with family so you get a break.

I did keep my first 2 in nursery when siblings arrived but they were used to going every day when I was working so well settled in.

managedmis · 10/07/2019 20:56

Can you afford it?

Bourbonbiccy · 10/07/2019 20:59

I would take her out. If she is only going one day a week it will be hard to keep the consistent with such a big break in between. If she was really happy and you had no concerns, I would say keep her in but
If you also have concerns about the nappy changing situation, although you can address it with them, I think I would take her out.

Original poster

BeckieMc · 10/07/2019 21:58

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm due to put her in tomorrow but decided to take her out. I could put her in tomorrow and speak to them about the nappy situation but the trust has gone it's not just one occasion. I'll tell them the reasons for leaving.

Dm will have her 2 days until I leave work and gonna see how I get on when new baba arrives if I'm struggling I'll put her in somewhere else if not then wait till she's 2-3

Dm will be really supportive when new baba arrives and has offered to have dd1 a day a week while I'm off to give me a break

OP posts:

Kokeshi123 · 11/07/2019 00:33

I would recommend looking for a new situation--having a young toddler and a newborn in the house all day can be really really hard on everyone concerned.

Original poster

BeckieMc · 11/07/2019 10:41

Thanks @Kokeshi123 if I'm struggling like I said I can always put her in someone else. I can always change my mind. My husband will be home the first month so I will get a lot of help the early weeks off him and my mum

OP posts:

LeZa · 11/07/2019 21:02

My DS was 24 months when my DD was born and I took him out of childcare and had an amazing maternity leave with them both...the bond between them both is so lovely now and I'm so thankful for the time that I spent with them both. Precious time that you just won't have again...although I did have some pangs of guilt that my DD didn't really get any time on her own with me but you seem to have support from your Mum, which would enable you to spend some time on your own with newborn, which would be so lovely and your older one will have special Grandma time xx hope you make the decision that you feel is right for you and your family xx

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