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7 year age gap.. will they ever play together?

38 replies

yere · 08/07/2019 17:55

Unexpectedly pregnant with dc2, dc1 will be 7 when born

Panicking about age gap! Will they ever play together or will it be like having two only children?

OP posts:
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LaurenElizabethJayne · 08/07/2019 20:24

There's a 6 year age gap between me and my brother and we played together as kids. I used to watch him play video games (he would give me a controller not plugged in) and play with his little footballer figurines, wrestling and football outside with him. I think he liked that he could pick the games and always win (unless he wanted to let me win) and I just went along with it.

We aren't close anymore, we drifted apart when he moved out and I was 12. I think as I was hitting my teenage years and didn't see him very often things just got awkward. I think that's more to do with personality than anything though.

They will be fine! Think of all the help your 7 YO will be with the baby Grin

yere · 09/07/2019 20:24

Thanks.. feeling slightly better but still panicking!

Any tips on how to get the best out of or at least manage the gap?

All I can think of is how I will take ds to football on Saturday with a toddler or beavers until 7.30pm when dc2 needs to be in bed

Leaving the house now with nothing and being spontaneous will go out the window

And I have my life back and my career is going well and I am now back to square 1 with no sleep and nappies!

And ... breathe!Confused

OP posts:
TinyTickler · 09/07/2019 20:25

My nephew and daughter have this age gap and plan together marvellously. May change over time but he loves playing with her and she thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread.

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Futureisland · 09/07/2019 20:28

There's 6.5 years between my 2 boys. Sometime it is like having 2 only children but generally they always played together at parks or at football and stuff. At the moment one is 6 and the other is nearly 13 and they do sometime play together in the house when there's no xbox / tablet allowed.

Floralnomad · 09/07/2019 20:32

6.5 yrs between my two and they’ve only really started getting along in the last couple of years ( eldest is 26 !) that said my eldest didn’t want a sibling so it probably would have made little difference how big the gap was . Neither of mine had routines as such when they were under school age so having the baby never affected anything ds ( eldest) was doing in the way of clubs / days out etc

pollysproggle · 09/07/2019 20:48

9 year gap between my 2 and they play together fine! Not all the time but at least once a day.

2 years and 9 months between me and my sister. Haaaaated each other until late teens but now we're close.

DH has a brother and sister 10 and 12 years older (he was a surprise baby) they all get on well.

Summertimeatthebeach · 09/07/2019 21:21

My dc have different df's and even that didn't cause any issues.
Ds 10 has successfully taught ds 4 to play proper card games!! He loves being a big brother. Much more than I anticipated tbh!

b0bb1n · 11/07/2019 06:15

My sister and I have a 6.5yr age gap and we were best of friends and played together very well

imarocketman50 · 11/07/2019 06:31

Growing up in our house we had family members live with us part time (children) and the ages spread over 7/8 years and we all played together fine.

anothernotherone · 11/07/2019 06:48

It's a different dynamic but not a worse one.

I've got 5 years from dc1 to dc3 and they don't play together the way close in age siblings do, but they adore one another and never, ever bicker or squabble the way closer in age children do. The age gap is so big that the relationship is asymmetric, meaning dc1 would no more squabble with dc3 than a parent would with a child - peers on the same level squabble, with a bigger gap the older one wouldn't humiliate themselves by bickering with a baby/ little kid and isn't embroiled in battles of wills with them.

Dc1 plays with dc3 but more the way a babysitter plays with a child in their care, not the way close in age children play. The dynamic is different but not worse - after all children have their own same age friends given school is so rigidly divided into age bands.

My dc1 and dc2 have a very different, both closer and more difficult relationship because they are barely 2 years apart and were genuinely peers, best friends, did everything together from about age 2 and 4 until age 9 and 11, but then dc1 pulled away/ ahead (dc1 is a girl and dc2 a boy which as puberty hit dc1 widened the gap because male puberty is later anyway, so she became far more teen/ grown up while he remained behind every bit a child). Now dc1 and dc2 do bicker. A small age gap can be a bit too close for comfort sometimes and more picky/ snappy, as well as having a unique bond.

Dc2 now plays with dc3 as an equal (dc3 was like an only/ indulged puppy in the older 2s eyes until he was about 6) who is 3 years younger than him because dc2 and 3 are now more on the same wavelength.

MomFromPhoenix · 11/07/2019 11:52

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Sturmundcalm · 11/07/2019 12:57

there's 7 years between DD and DS (who are now 19 and 12). they've always got along and have had some stuff in common but obviously don't play together the way closer in age siblings might.

the only "issue" we've really had is bigger days out - e.g. theme parks - where the age gap can make it difficult to keep them both happy and spend the day as a family...

riotlady · 11/07/2019 15:17

My sister is 8 years younger than me and we’re really close- we didn’t really play together though, except in the way a babysitter plays with a kid they’re looking after.

My sister has always said it was the best of both worlds because she had all the attention an only child gets, plus a cool older sister. I don’t have such fond memories but that’s because my sister was the favourite (different dads) and nothing to do with the gap.

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