Breastfeeding / expressing

[Moses92]

Please can someone help me! I would really like to breastfeed my DS who is 9 days old today.
I tried to breastfeed but he got agitated and upset very easily, was very fussy and some insecurity around size and shape of my nipples made me paranoid he wasn't feeding properly. Also he would feed for an hour and then still drink 40 or 50ml of expressed milk.
I started expressing and feeding via bottle in a panic that I can't do it. But now I am constantly worried I won't be able to keep up with demand.
I've read and read and now understand that newborns feeding from breast pretty much all day every day can be normal? He doesn't have a tongue tie and his latch is good, he just constantly pulls off, fusses, shakes his head then cries until I give up and give him expressed milk.
I really want to bf him. I was thinking from tomorrow I just bf him and take the pain and fussing and just do it. Is this the right thing to do? How else could I wean him back to breast?

I ended up giving my little one a bit of formula after feeds for the first week, then When he was about 8 days old I stopped giving him the bottle and exclusively breast fed! It was hard and when I tried to reintroduce a bottle at 6 weeks old he refused and would never take one again!

@Emma9876 did he go back to breast OK? My issue is that I mainly give bottles atm so worried I have ruined it for myself already..

@Moses92 Have you offered him the breast? You'll soon find out if he'll latch! If he does, then plenty of skin to skin, expect him to want to feed lots (he'll be triggering an increase in supply) and have nipple cream ready! It's completely doable at this stage.

Do you have breastfeeding support available locally? They'll be able to help. Alternatively there's breastfeeding helplines which are really good.

Good luck! Hope it goes well

Not much to add, except my baby had a great latch but we started on bottles (mixed fed) when she was a day old due to jaundice and she went ebf after a couple of months. Could have been sooner but I liked dh doing the night feeds while he was off work. Definitely doable. Maybe if he's fussing he needs a burp, or even a nappy change midway through, little break and if still awake, try again.

*one night feed

@mummymummymummummum yes he does latch, but he fusses, pulls away, cries, constantly unlatches and re latches and gets frustrated and it makes me feel so guilty. That's why I'm wondering whether I need to just ditch the bottles and get on with it and take the pain to get it done

My dd used to pull off and shake her head and fuss like you describe when my let down wasn't fast enough so she wasn't getting a full flow of milk immediately and was therefore annoyed. Try hand expressing for a little bit, just to get the milk flowing before offering the breast. Hopefully then it won't be as much work for him to get what he wants, it's a much faster and more consistent flow from a bottle hence his seeming preference. Keep offering the breast as much as possible and see how it goes, this is the tough bit and you've done amazingly already

You’re doing great, you haven’t messed up anything

Do you think he’s getting windy while feeling? Infacol is your friend! You can give them as much as you need to, try before each feed. My DD used to arch her back and come off the breast then do a massive burp while I held her over my shoulder, then I’d offer it to her again and it was a bit on again off again in the early days.

Tomorrow I’d pop a dressing gown on and wrap it around him with your top bare. Strip him down to his nappy and just pop him on your chest, offer the breast off and on, don’t stress if he doesn’t feed every time. Little and often might be the way to go. Take yourself plenty of easy access snacks, bananas, cereal bars, biscuits etc, a big bottle of water, a book and your phone and plan to have a peaceful day snuggling.

You’re being amazing pumping and feeding and it’s a lot for the first few weeks. Give yourself a break and remember what a great job you’re doing. I had a small baby and huge boobs and had to feed with a hand on her head/neck and the other on the boob. I couldn’t imagine being able to do it with one hand and then as she got bigger and could hold her head up better it just clicked into place.

Is your midwife any good? Has anyone sat with you and watched you feed?

Congratulations on your baby. Put everything else aside and focus on having loads of skin to skin and keep your food and fluids up.

He would never take a bottle again and I fed him until 14 months! It was hard and lots and lots of feeding but it got a lot easier! I used to feed him laying down a lot at night which made it easier!

@AnneLovesGilbert thank you so much for the advice. He is a very hiccupy baby and sucks a lot of air in whilst feeding I think. I fed him lying down last night and he did spit a bit back up. I think I have a fast let down because he often latches then pulls away like its a shock to him! I have huge boobs so have to hold his head, muslin under breast and shape the nipple haha! But if it means I could ebf I will persevere. Do you think taking the day just to bf him tomorrow will affect my pumping supply?

Mine is nearly 4 months and I still put a muslin under the boob I’m feeding on as she dribbles and it used to run out of her nose when she was really going for it I own 24 muslins and still do a load of washing a day!

She hiccups loads too, still around 3 times a day for ages, she doesn’t seem to mind too much but infacol or a feed usually stops it. She’s incredibly windy, farts like a trooper and burps louder than anyone I know. The burping does get easier, she used to get red in the face and arch back loads struggling with but within a couple of weeks it got so much easier. I hold her upright straight after she’s stopped feeding and after a minute she does a mega belch, smiles her gummy grin at me and often has another feed.

Feeding lying down is great, took me weeks to master it so very impressed you’re already doing it! You’re doing so well. 9 days is so very early. My milk didn’t even come in till day 5 after my dramatic delivery and I was two handed feeding awkwardly around my huge CS scar. With big boobs it takes a while for them to latch on easily for them. I know the days feel eternal and you’re probably bloody exhausted but I promise it’ll get quicker, easier and more manageable for both of you. He’s fresh out of the oven where he didn’t even know he was getting his nourishment from you and he has a lot to learn too. You’ll get there and it’ll feel natural before you know it. You’re acing expressing so much so you know he’s getting what he needs. And a baby is usually better at getting milk than a pump so when he’s finding it easier he’ll be able to get plenty direct from you.

Skin to skin will probably make you leak loads, always has me. The hormones from having your baby close to you will make you produce more milk. Have you heard of a hakaa? Wish I’d got one months ago and only got it a couple of weeks ago. You put it on the boob you’re not feeding on and it stays on so you might be able to get it to work even with two handed feeding. Also means you can express at the same time as feeding so saves you time. It might not to doable right now but worth getting for later. If you’re topless or just in a dressing gown you could put a folded towel under you on the bed and ditch the muslin, it’s only milk and one less thing to worry about. But no, your supply for pumping shouldn’t suffer and should benefit from it.

It sounds like you’re producing loads and just need to get him used to feeding from you. His tummy will still be teeny tiny so he’ll want to feee little and often. It’s hard and you don’t say if you have a partner but you just need to ignore everything but time cuddling your gorgeous new son. Don’t stress about how much he’s getting. Screw tidying and clean clothes. Bollocks to too many visitors or putting yourself under any pressure. It’s a mental shift but if you need to make a nest on the sofa or in your bed with food, water and many muslins then that’s what you do. Don’t go stir crazy either and lean on any support you have but your job is to feed yourself and your son and you’re doing wonderfully and he’s a lucky little boy. PM me if you’d like to.

This video might be useful. I’ve posted it on here loads and I found it very helpful, have referred back several times. The fold the boob into their mouth thing is super useful. And waiting for their properly open mouth for as long as it takes rather than struggling to do it while they’re squirming! Also latch and relatch till it’s deep enough to be comfortable. Nipple pain is usually from it not being deep enough and rubbing on the roof of their mouth. If it’s in far enough you can’t really feel it.

You’re doing amazingly! I love what other posters have suggested about just getting set up for a day of skin to skin and feeding. I really struggled with BFing at first, mainly the positioning.

I also have big boobs but a midwife suggested the “rugby hold” to me and sometimes use that on one side to feed as my DD gets fussy but only on the left side! Great job feeding a lying down too, it’s a useful skill to have when babies cluster feed/have growth spurts so you can get some rest.

Have you noticed your milk “squirting”? I have an oversupply and very fast let down and sometimes my DD (10 weeks) screams and shakes her head like you describe and I think it’s because the milk is coming out too fast. My HV suggested expressing a little bit before feeding to stop this from happening as it can also make them gulp lots of air and give them tummy ache.

I would 100% get a breastfeeding support worker round, they are excellent and provide so much reassurance and tips to help you get going. I saw a quote on a poster in hospital about BFing which said “I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m saying it’s worth it”. It stuck with me and used it as a little mantra whenever i was doing an especially difficult feed.

Keep going, you’re doing brilliantly and it will be so worth it in the end 🙂

@Browniee yes my left breast squirts loads! Also I pump the same on both sides but never get much from it, but its the easiest one for baby to latch to as I have an inverted nipple on the right (maybe this is why he fusses so much if the milk is squirting?) and as I am right handed I find it really difficult to hold him to the right breast if that makes sense? I have the number for our local breastfeeding support worker and she is on annual leave until Wednesday so I'm going to call her and get her to come round. I tried to nurse him again this morning when he woke up and he was just frantic, crying etc and then I lose my confidence. My midwife suggested a nipple shield for the inverted nipple? Thank you so much for your comment

@AnneLovesGilbert thank you so much for your input. As the days go on I see him feeding from a bottle easier and easier and it's breaking my heart. I tried to nurse him again this morning and he just fussed and cried and pulled off, kicking and pushing away with his hands. Then I get upset like I'm starving him! I have the number for our local breastfeeding support worker, she is back off holiday on Wednesday so I'm going to call her then. I keep trying to tell myself that he's only 10 days old, he knows how to latch and we will make it happen. Spending the day in bed with him is a great idea, I will definitely try this! I do have a partner and it is convenient having him help feed the baby at night etc, but he is supportive in whatever I want to do. I don't know how far is too far to take it, if he fusses and cries etc do I just keep offering the breast until he takes it? Do I go cold turkey on the bottles? I just don't know the right approach.

What is it with left boobs @Browniee!

DD has days when she goes off it completely in cross cradle but will go for it i half rugby ball/scoop her half sitting under my arm. It’s my sole pumper though, never get anything out of my right one so I feed more from my right and express from my left every other day or so to build a stash or so DH can give her a bottle. I have a friend with an older baby who’s also a lefty refuser.

OP, you’re giving him your milk whether you express or feed him direct and lots of people do that, it’s hard work but so worth it if it’s working for you both. I’m not any sort of expert, we’re all making it up as we go along! Hopefully your local supporter can help you. Can you leave her a message and ask to see her Wednesday? Is there a breastfeeding support group near you? I don’t know if I’d stop all bottles because it might stress you out and you’ll feel better knowing he’s getting enough. Having him latch is a massive tick, he’s so tiny and sounds like he’s doing amazingly well. You’re keeping your supply up by expressing and have plenty of milk so it’s not going to go away. If you feel comfy doing so I’d keep offering him the breast, don’t panic if he fusses, and give him a bottle if he won’t feed? I don’t know I’m afraid, sorry Or give him a bit from a bottle so he’s not too hungry and then switch to the breast? When DDs off lefty I often feed from the right and when she’s getting full and dopey I do a crafty switcheroo and she doesn’t notice.

There’s a thread on here on breastfeeding in antenatal I think. You could also try Can I breastfeed in it support group on Facebook and the Kellymom website which is packed with useful stuff and might address moving from bottles to breast. I’ll have a look in a sec and post a link if I find anything.

DP can best help by keeping you fed and watered, bringing you pillows and muslins and reminding you what a wonderful job you’re doing

My DH has DC from his previous relationship who were ff and didn’t know much about bf but has taken great pride in being my chief cheerleader and leaving me snacks around the house so wherever I land to feed I can eat, filling up my water bottle and always having a muslin to hand to chuck me. He pokes her michelin man thighs and tells me I’ve made it happen and he’s right. She was a tiny skinny thing to start with and it’s a bit emotional how fat she’s got!

Your milk is at its best at night so you might want to feed from the breast at night and your DP can still help by changing DS nappy or keeping you company.

kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/
www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/back-to-breast/
kellymom.com/mother2mother/exclusive-pumping/
www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/ask-heidi/nipple-confusion.aspx

If the BF support worker is away can you speak to/see your Health Visitor or Midwife until they’re back?
It sounds like you’ve got lots of milk which is great, it’s just a bit stressful when it comes out at speed (for you and baby).
It’s all new to me too so can’t offer much advice but happy to chat if you want to PM me ☺️

"I just keep offering the breast until he takes it? Do I go cold turkey on the bottles? I just don't know the right approach."
Lots of things in motherhood, aren't right or wrong, you have to go with your instinct and advise from professionals. Just make an informed decision and go with it. If cold turkey on bottles doesn't sit right don't do it. You are doing great, it sounds like your getting upset with your baby taking bottles. Did you plan on exclusively breastfeeding? I tried to keep an open mind when I was pregnant, id give breastfeeding a go but happy to formula feed. I think this approach was good for my mental health. I went gradually from mixed fed to bottles.

'I’d keep offering him the breast, don’t panic if he fusses, and give him a bottle if he won’t feed? I don’t know I’m afraid, sorry sad Or give him a bit from a bottle so he’s not too hungry and then switch to the breast?' I agree. To begin with other people gave bottles, but later I help my baby in cradle position, fed her a bottle then switched smoothly to breast.

*mixed fed to exclusively breastfed.