Mum guilt about DS leaving nursery friends

[Kennebunkport]

DS goes to a fantastic nursery and has become best friends with a little girl. They've never had play dates, but spend every second together at nursery and he constantly talks about her at home, as apparently she does him.

Nursery finishes this month and in September they will be going to different schools. I feel so guilty that he won't really see her again and get emotional every time I see them together. I'm now wishing I'd sent him to the nursery attached to the school, so that he'd be moving up with nursery friends, not leaving them all. There is also a couple of boys that he's close to and I don't think he understands they aren't all going to school together.

I love the nursery (not keen on the one attached to school) and plan to send other DC there, but I'm finding this bit really tough. Anyone experience this? Did your DC make new friends at school fairly quickly? I know they're only 4, but I just hope he's not too devastated when he realises he won't be going back to his old group of friends.

Honestly, my DS was in this position this time last year, and now I don't think he even remembers her name. He moved on to new friends very, very quickly.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal that's very reassuring to hear!

My ds2 made really good friends at pre school and two of them went to different schools. i was really worried and really guilty but He forgot them remarkably quickly. Then when he started going to the local football club they were there and whilst he does not remember them from pre school they are all good friends again! Similarly ds1 was friends with a boy at the local toddler group. Did not see him for 7 years and now sits next to him in most of his lessons at secondary school. It took me a long time to realise that when little friendships come and go. I do think when they are older and go to activities outside school (beavers, team sports, etc) it really helps them build friendships with lots of different children which sets them up for life!

I'm in the same boat! I have exchanged numbers with the mum of my LG's little bestie and we've met up and will hopefully continue to do so...
I'm getting major mum guilt over a few things with starting school, so you're definitely not alone!
Being rational, I know my girl will love school and make new friends but irrationally, I'm panicking over the slightest things and got a bit teary today (and we still have two months until they start!)
Just reminding myself, she will deal with it all so much better than I will.
Sending hugs and support for you!

DD2 was one of 3 kids in her Reception class who hadn't been in the preschool. By half term no one could tell which ones they were.
She can't remember any of her preschool class now 2 years later.

Thank you for all the replies. They are helping. Rationally I know he will be fine and likely quick to move on, but when I see him with his nursery friends it tugs at my heart strings.

@lorisparkle we do live in a small town, so it is likely this could happen. I agree that it's a good life lesson, but at 4 it just seems harsh!

@crapcrap Sending hugs to you too! I've been teary today too. Think it is because things are changing. His closeted little world is expanding and it's the beginning of him taking his first steps into the world. So bittersweet. I'm a SAHM, so the structured world of school will be a big shake up. We've had 4 years of doing what we want, when we want and the thought of school schedules is overwhelming. We'll be fine though and I know he will love school.

Aww bless him my dd is still friends with a boy she went to nursery with they went to bdifferent schools but we stayed in touch could you do that ? But he will be fine once he starts school he really will find a new best friend but he could keep her as his ^bestest best friend"

I know how you feel. My DS has been attending a school nursery for the last year. He's a summerborn, so I'm having to now send him to a different nursery setting (they won't keep him on). After that, he'll be going somewhere completely different for school! So that's 3 settings in 3 years. Maybe it actually benefits them, if they're having lots of practice at making new friends rather than staying with the same kids all the time.

My ds attended the private nursery I work in right up till school. He also did 5 mornings a week at the school nursery from after Easter until the summer holidays. No one from the private nursery went to his school. To be honest he very quickly forgot about his friends once school started

@Mrsjayy yes, I'm definitely going to get her mums number, so if he wants to we can keep contact. We practised introducing himself to new friends tonight and he seemed happy with that...'Hello my name's xxx, would you like to play?!' I just want to wrap him up and make it all alright!

I have kept up with a couple of dd's nursery friends and I'd really recommend it if it's possible, you can tell when she's with kids she's known from nursery because she's way more relaxed than with her school friends, probably because she doesn't remember a time when she didn't know them! But they make new friends very quickly and everyone else is in the same boat so I wouldn't worry too much.

We worried about this, but now DS is about to finish his reception year and has made lots of lovely new friends that he’s really close to - and we are still in touch and meet up about once each holiday with his best friend from nursery (they also send each other the occasional video message!) They still get on the best, and I wonder why we worried now. All will be well!