Baby won't accept dummy- worth persevering??

[thecompanyplonker]

My DD is 5MO and won't hasn't accepted a dummy at all really except a few sucks early on. She loves to suck her sleeves, her thumbs and fingers (and mine!), and any toy that's roughly the right shape. But dummies are either chewed or spat out.

If at all possible I would LOVE her to have a dummy, and have tried her on a few standard brands without success.

Parents with experience of this, it worth persevering? Any tips or advice, or brands that you could recommend?

OP my LO self soothed very easily at 7/8 months old without a dummy. Don’t think a dummy is your only option

@thecompanyplonker
I don't recall that well but with all my kids they were effectively using me as a dummy. I recall with ds1 I just had it right beside my nipple ready and slipped it in when he was drowsy and dropping off. The younger two that didn't work and I think I literally held it in when they were crying / tired until they started suckling. Weaning all of them was easy at age 3; we "forgot" them when we went on holiday, job done!

One thing I did find was that different babies like different test shapes but they all preferred latex over silicone, more nipplish in texture! My youngest liked a cherry teat, whereas number 3 like an orthodontic shaped teat, for example.

I also used to pin them on their jamas (using a special clip) and they very quickly got used to finding dummy and shoving it back in themselves.

My Ds gave up his dummy at 3 months.

I would look at other ways of self soothing I think

Op I preserved and my dd took to it at around 7 months. She was breastfeeding for comfort a lot and I needed the break so kept trying. They say to tap it while it their mouth. No idea why but seemed to work for us.

She is almost three and only really has it to sleep or when she's overtired. No speech delay at all (she doesn't stop talking!) but I do think it has pushed her teeth forward slightly.

I'm getting rid in the next few months and am dreading it. But I wouldn't change my decision to use it as it was a life saver.

@mumao that sounds familiar! At the moment the breast is the only guaranteed way of getting her to nap- everything else is a bit hit and miss. Thanks for the tapping tip too!

@FloatingthroughSpace thank you- i haven't looked into different materials.

I survived 24 hours before rushing out to buy my 1st child one. He was much better but never very good at getting to sleep This led to going to sleep later and later and then not waking up until 11am. ! The second one never needed one and I was very grateful for that; not that he did not have some very cranky times.
I organised a playgroup years ago and I had 3 plus year olds arriving with a dummy, not a nice sight.

I wouldn't push it if she doesn't seem interested. Believe me ul be glad in the long run my little girls loved loved and still loves her dummy. I hate it 😡 so much so unless my next baby cries a lot (she hardly ever cried) they won't be getting one.

All have up the dummy around age 3 with minimal issues.

I thought you were supposed to get rid of dummies and bottles not long after the first birthday, if they are used? Not every child will develop dental and palate issues from prolonged use of dummies, but there is no way of telling in advance which ones will.

The only good reason for dummies is for young babies who happen to be extremely "sucky" to the point where it causes problems (i.e. the mother feels like her nipples are going to fall off if she is breastfeeding, or in the case of a formula fed baby, where the baby is wanting to suck all day long and there is a risk of overfeeding if a dummy is not introduced). Oh, and dummies might slightly reduce the risk of SIDS in young formula fed babies. None of these reasons is really very relevant in a baby over 6mo, which the OP's baby will be very soon.

kokeshi
Children self soothe and many use a dummy or thumb to do it. Do you cut a child's thumb off aged 1if they are using that to soothe?

Almost everyone I know has weaned their babies from the dummy around 2.5 to 3. As long as there is some management of it (ie the toddler doesn't have the dummy 24/7 but only when upset or at night) NONE of the dummy using hundreds of toddlers I have interacted with have had any issues. Working with kids the most common dummy issue is children trying to talk around their dummy leading to a lack of speech clarity. Easily sorted by keeping dummy for bed.

All my kids had no speech issues and no teeth issues.

I found that if they haven't taken to it by about 6 months they won't. My DD loved hers but it was a bit of a pain having to pop it back in when she lost it and then finally remove it.

Where as my boys hated them tried all shapes going and they would just spit them out but the learnt to self sooth much quicker.

So I'd say it probably by this age not worth it.

My daughter used to suck the labels on her muslins and I was worried she would choke so switched to dummy. This was around 3mnths. She was very happy with the small mam dummies.
When she was 1 we made a fuss of her throwing them in the bin. She thought it was hilarious. From that day she wasn’t bothered and didn’t go back to sucking labels either!

You can always cut the labels off.

Neither of mine were interested in a dummy.

Why would you force a child to have one if they weren’t interested

@Oliversmumsarmy

RTFT

Thank you for that molly believe it or not I did try that first, however a muslin without a label was torture for her and for us, so it was better to remove the muslins all together!

Fair enough BarryBarry . I just have dummy aversion!

thecompanyplonker

I did RTFT.

You are trying to force a dummy onto a child who doesn't want one because you think they will sleep better.

But they don't want a dummy

I gave DD a dummy at six months as she started to suck her thumb, My SIL hates that she’s still a thumb sucker and can’t break the habit, so wanted to prevent it if I could. She rejected it at first but I found if I tried her with one when she was really tired and just off the breast, she would accept it. Only the MAM brand for some reason, but worked with for us.

I really wish we'd have insisted with DD to be honest. It would have soothed her and made her sleep better. She gave it up around 5 months, she's 2.5 now and I can honestly say it would have made our lives way easier. She's very high maintenance

DS had one till he was around 3. Got rid of it no problem at all.

Can I ask those who did not use dummies how their babies slept? In my experience babies using dummies (or thumbs 🙄) sleep far better. Although I also find those who are vehemently against dummies will always claim their kids were excellent sleepers. So in retrospect don’t bother answering. OP, I would persevere, mine did not use them during the day (except nap time) and slept over 12 hours at night. They also never had any problem giving them up at 3.5 ish. (Also beautiful teeth)

Although I also find those who are vehemently against dummies will always claim their kids were excellent sleepers. So in retrospect don’t bother answering.

I had one of each, so am I allowed to answer?

My dummy refuser was by far the better sleeper. Great at napping, and went for long stretches from a few weeks old. DS1, who did take a dummy, was worse.

How are you vehemently against dummies if your child had one? 😜 so yes you can answer! You are the first I have met.

I spent the first few months of motherhood wishing my baby would take a dummy (she had severe reflux and the sucking is supposed to help), but I'm relieved she refused it - I have a friend whose baby would wake up to 10 times a night needing it to be put back in his mouth.

It's just another thing to wean them off really. You're not that far away from weaning and the age when you can start to help them to self-soothe in other ways (gradual withdrawal, controlled crying, etc) if napping is a nightmare.

How are you vehemently against dummies if your child had one? 😜 so yes you can answer! You are the first I have met.

I assume I’m supposed to fall over myself at your gracious permission....

The word isn’t black and white. Assuming someone who didn’t use dummies is ‘vehemently against them’ and dismissing their opinion (or suggesting they’re liars) is ridiculous.

Both of mine slept through the night by 9 and 10 weeks respectively

But I did put a lot of effort into making sure they fell asleep. Warm bath and a lot of bf before they fell asleep and not actually putting them in their cot till they had gone to sleep. And not putting them to bed till 11-midnight. Then getting 8 hours sleep

Did try a dummy but it kept being spat out