Making things easier after a c section

[hormonesorDHbeingadick]

Looks like I maybe having a c section and I already have a 3 year old and not much family support. Can anyone suggest ways to make things easier?

Do you have anyone who can help you out for the first few weeks? DP? DM etc? So that you can concentrate on our new LO initially. If no help, what about kids clubs? There might be something for 3 year olds in your area, even if it was just for a morning.

The first couple of weeks for me were very hard especially getting in and out of bed, some people have said a next to me crib helped with that stage but I did fine without.

I didn't have a 3 year old to contend with however so hopefully someone else will be able to help with other suggestions!

I had a c section and a 3 year old! As PP said you will need help for the first couple of weeks at least, there's no way around it. From 6 weeks onwards it all gets much more manageable but until then it will be hard to manage the toddler. How helpful is the 3 year old able to be?

For practical things around the house I would suggest;

A changing ‘station’ on each floor, preferably at waist height to save bending and keep well stocked.

Lots of things to keep the 3 year old entertained, don’t be afraid to just use the tv etc - do what you need to to make life easier. Do they go to nursery?

Will you have a DP/DH around? If so the way we worked it was I cared for the newborn and my DH did pretty much everything else!

Also be kind to yourself and don’t try and be superwoman. It’s hard to sit and have things done for you (if there’s someone available to do it) but it is important for your recovery!

Cleaner once per week
Food delivery. Buy some easy kids ready meals also.

Buy 3 year old some easy to do alone activities. Sticker books, those no mess drawing boards, fuzzy felt, new small world type stuff. Have netflix or dvds from charity when you need 3 year old to just sit a while.

If you have a garden and baby due soon in summer, get things like a sandpit, garden toys, bubble machine, small slide, so you can just open door and let them play safe without having to chase around like outside at a park. get yourself a comfy chair and parasol for outside so you can sit with baby and watch.

If you can afford it, hire a cleaner for the first few weeks. Even 1 hour per week will save you from cleaning the bathroom and mopping the floors.

Start walking as soon as you can. But don't overdo it. Take it easy. The more mobile you are though, the better you will feel. Physically AND mentally.
In the early days, you might need to prepare in advance snacks and activities to help keep your toddler occupied while you feed your baby. This is especially true if you are breastfeeding for a long time. They might like to cuddle up to you or a favourite teddy while you feed your baby. Having an activity or a storybook handy can also be useful. That way your 3yo can sit next to you while you read stories to them or do a puzzle or other activity nearby.
Take the pressure off yourself. You can't do everything by yourself. Do what you can and leave the rest for later or for others to do. Ask for help. Be specific and tell people what you need - meals, errands, cleaning etc... if you don’t have family or friends who could help, ask your health visitor what support is available locally for parents. For example, a charity like HomeStart may be able to offer practical help.
You’ll really want to avoid constipation while you recover from a c-section so take care to eat a balanced and fibre rich diet.
Buy a couple of ice packs and use them when you're resting. It will help decrease inflammation, swelling and pain.
Stock up on Granny pants! There’s nothing worse than underwear rubbing on the wound.
Avoid spending too much time alone.
Join a support group. You’re on mn.... good start!

If it is in your budget, you could hire post partum doula support. They will help with light housekeeping as well and can help you with the baby! I'm planning to do this for my next baby.

SnowdropFox DD does go to nursery and I will think about increasing her hours over the school holidays but I don’t want her pushed out. In September she will go to school nursery 5 mornings a week so I will be need to very organised by then.

I’ve bought a next to me but I remember lack time getting in and out of bed was tricky and I can’t imagine how a next to me will work then.

I had an EMCS last night but with lots of complications.

MoonChimes she can be helpful and she is mostly past the tantrum sage but I fear there will be a big regression and need for her to be with me all the time.

Mynameisnotthis working on getting the changing stations sorted. I think I definitely need to get some things to keep DD occupied but aren’t too messy.

Thanks

I had a section and a next to me. I just used to shuffle down the bed to get out, it wasn't too bad in terms of pain. You could alternatively leave the side up and enough space for you to get out while still having it close to the need, if you do struggle.

Congrats on your new baby! If you've had complications you'll probably be in hospital for a while, so hopefully should be well on the way with healing by the time you get home. Best of luck.

My tips:

Get a cleaner.
Use a laundry service / service wash.
Stock the freezer.

Explain to your 3yo that mummy won't be able to pick her up for a few weeks after the new baby comes because her tummy has to heal. (I said that I had to have a special zip in my tummy for the baby.)

Involve your DD in the preparations - getting things ready for the new baby.

Don't be shy about asking for help. Any visitors coming to see the baby - dragoon them into doing a few little jobs while they are there. "Oh - while you're here, could I ask you to help me with..." I think you'll find that everyone is only too happy to help.

Stock up with some lovely bath/shower treats (for you). I kept thinking that I stank after the CS so I was paranoid about being fresh and clean.

Have your post-op wardrobe sorted so that you can feel good about yourself while healing. (I had a couple of lovely long flowing summer dresses that looked great and covered up the post-baby blancmange.)

You had an EMCS last night?!

Congratulations

I did what whatsthis said about the next to me, I couldn’t handle the thought of shuffling down the bed to get up as I needed to roll to the side and get me legs over to enable me to get up! So we used it as a normal crib with the side up for a while

Mynameisnotthis sorry no. First child was born by EMCS. I have decide to get induction at 38 weeks which would most likely end in EMCS or go for ELCS at 39.

Sorry just realised I put last night instead of last time!

If she doesnt know already, then teach your 3 year old things like how to get dressed, put on shoes, wipe own bum, climb into car seat by herself, open fridge and get a drink and snack etc. Obviously depends what she can manage and what you’re comfortable with. Anything that she can do herself will help you as you won’t have to get up to do it for her. And absolutely anything that requires lifting her up she should be able to do herself as you won’t be able to do that for several weeks.

Otherwise - batch cook so you have meals ready in the freezer. Have changing everything available, like nappies near where you’re going to be spending the most time and hopefully enlist your 3 year old to fetch you things!

For me the major godsends were more nursery time, super helpful grandparents and kids tv. It is really hard, but you’ll get through it.

Yes as above, make sure 3 year old has a little step in bathroom and kitchen so they can wash hands and get water from tap alone, and use the toilet.

Also teach 3 year old to dump dirty stuff in basket not floor to save so much bending down. And for them to dump dirty cups, plates etc next to the sink so all in one place and high up.

Empty a drawer or cupboard or basket low down in kitchen to store basic snacks that 3 year old can help themself to if your running late sorting lunch or something as baby has pooed everywhere or similar.

Remember its perfectly fine (imo) to pay 3 year olds in haribo to go and fetch things...

Thanks all. She can’t wipe her bum after a poo yet efficiently.

We definitely need to work on her tidying- I will try bribing with sweets. I will have a think about where to put snacks.

Hi! I had an emergency C section 18 days ago (my first baby). I’m fortunate to have a lot of support around me but here’s what I’ve also found useful:

1. I put my changing mat and all the paraphernalia on my dining table and I’ve got another set up on top of baby’s drawers upstairs (mamas and papas ones with the border). Saves any bending / reaching. It’s the ideal height.
2. I had my freezer well stocked with easy to cook things that I can shove in the oven. Means not standing for long periods of time and can get food quickly.
3. I had to sleep propped up as I couldn’t go from lying flat to sitting up. So make sure you’ve got plenty pillows to support you (I also used my big maternity pillow).
4. I also have a big U shaped pillow that I use to help support the baby when I’m downstairs during the day. Saves any straining and I can lie him flat out which means I don’t need to get up and put him down (minimising need to stand up and sit down).
5. Minimise any trips up and down stairs if you have them. I’ve been keeping all the baby stuff in a drawer downstairs so I’m not traipsing up and down if I forget something.
6. I’ve been using dettol wound spray on my scar morning and night. To be fair, it had already healed brilliantly before I used it but I’ve had no further problems.

I would recommend getting on your feet ASAP but taking it easy and don’t rush in to things. A couple times I’ve felt fine and went a long walk but I’ve suffered for it later. So just take it slowly (easier said than done when you also have a 3 year old).

Wishing you lots of luck x