Sarah Ockwell-Smith's suggestion...

[MumApr18]

Reading Sarah Ockwell-Smith's 'The Second Baby Book" and she suggests asking mothers of 2 children what they wished they knew/had done differently during pregnancy with number 2 and once baby was born. Would anyone share their experiences? I'm very early on with number 2 and still at that very worried stage!

Done differently in what way? What are your worries? Also do you mean you are in early stages of pregnancy or early days with your 2nd baby?

I wish I'd taken better care of myself during pregnancy. I was a SAHP, and did all the childcare and cooking and cleaning even though I was constantly nauseous. So I wish I'd had a forthright discussion with DP about valuing my health and what he could do to support me.

But honestly, I don't really wish that I'd done anything differently. I learned so much from having DC1 that I was able to do differently the second time round that I got most things right.

@KCpip I'm just newly pregnant with number 2. I suppose I have all of the stereotypical worries - how will my first born react? How will I cope with 2? How will we handle finances? How is my work going to be about almost consecutive maternity leave periods? All the usual stuff, I imagine!

@BroomstickOfLove. Totally get what you're saying - I am also guilty of not looking after myself properly. Everyone is well rested, fed, clean and I'm just the dishevelled mess in the corner! I will speak to my DP and suggest I need a bit more "me" time.

Ok I see. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I suppose a couple for me personally. I wish I worried less about DD1. It’s a big adjustment for them at first but they will cope. You’ve got enough going on taking care of a baby so do your best to ease up on worrying about your first born. 2nd one, lower your expectations of yourself. If you need to recharge while pregnant or once baby arrives then have a quiet day in the house with low key activities for DD1, TV if need be. 3rd one, if you find it hard at first, it will get easier! 4th, if you are anything like me you will need help with DD1 while you are looking after baby, you will feel guilty because you are not doing stuff with them however you’ll feel too tired to do things any other way. You’ll read things that say carve out time just for you and DD1 then you’ll feel more guilty if that’s not happening. Forgive yourself. That time will come again and will be easier. 5th, you can do this! Best of luck. You’ll be fine.