Hello everyone. This is my first post to Mumsnet and I'm hoping someone can offer me some advice.
I split with my 4 year old daughters dad when she was 10 weeks old. Following the split things were rocky but I never stopped him seeing his daughter and for the past 4 years he has taken her on his days off work which vary from week to week.
I currently live with my 4 year old, my partner and our youngest daughter.
My ex cannot give me his days off in advance, sometimes telling me when he is taking her just a few days in advance meaning I need to fit my life around his work. I have not been too bothered about it up until now it has worked OK but life is getting pretty hectic with 2 kids, I am due to start a degree and my youngest dotes on her so is very confused and upset at the constant tooing and froing, I also feel that the inconsistency is affecting my daughters behaviour.
So my daughter is due to start school next year so I have said to my ex that for school I will need set days, e.g. The weekend and a Wednesday or 2 set day throughout the week. My daughters school is at the end of my street, whereas he lives 40 mins away and doesn't drive meaning my daughter would need to get up 40 Minute earlier for school, so it makes sense for her to be here during the week with maybe one overnight but consistent days each week. I explained to him the importance of routine and that the transition is big from nursery to school so routine is paramount.
He said that his work will not allow him to have set days and its just whatever the rota says.
He disagrees with my proposal and thinks current arrangements will work, 40 minutes extra travel on different days each week won't affect her and me asking for set days instead of scattered days every week is just selfish.
Please. For the love of God someone tell me of I am being unreasonable here???