I think I've finished breastfeeding but didn't know that during the last feed

[Redrupunzle]

Anyone feel sad that they've finished? Particularly if you didn't realise the last feed was the last feed? I've also had some weird coincidences today.

So after going back to work 3 weeks ago I've been cutting down a bit to avoid being too full at work. Since I started dd hadn't taken to cows milk too happily but she'd have the odd oz here and there. The last couple of days shes Bfed but not wanted much, I had been thinking I'd stop soon but wasn't in a huge rush. I had got it down to 7pm, 10pm, 3am and 8am. I fed her at 10 last night, She slept through the 3am for the third night in a row and then through distraction and being out really early today we missed the 8am feed. I though "hhhmm I wonder if today is the day I stop". She then had 5oz does milk before lunch which is way more then shes ever had and shes just had another 5oz before bed and I think that's me done. But I wasn't aware that last night's feed would be the last and I'm upset I wasn't mentally ready, weirder still, I got my first period since having her today and weirder again it's her first birthday today! I'm sure the planet's have lined up perfectly but I'm really sad tonight

Ahh this happened with both of mine.
DS at 11 months got HFAM and would take the breast anymore. Would only have water through a straw for two weeks and that was the end of that. I was crushed. I don’t have a clue why looking back but I think I’d imagined a meaningful deliberate ‘last feed’ but actually he told me he was done and that was that.
DD made a similar decision at 8 months when she grew 6 teeth in 2 weeks and kept trying to bite off my nipples thinking it was hilarious. Every time I offered she’d just laugh, Clamp and rip. And laugh again.
So we were done then too. Much earlier than I wanted but as her brother she decided when she was done.
I understand what you’re feeling OP. But it won’t feel as sad with time.

That's how it happens. It's like lots of lasts. You won't notice the last time you pick them up, the last time you hold their hand, the last time you carry them to bed asleep. These things all slip by without notice in the moment. It's bittersweet but the natural end to a job well done.

Unless you are my DS who stopped and then was ill a week later and fed like a newborn again.

Its possible that the hormones have temporarily changed your milk too. Both of mine went off it a bit when I was due my period but soon came back to it.

With DC1 he was 14 months and I planned it to be the last feed. I was pregnant again and wanted to have a feeding gap between them. I was sad but knew I'd be feeding again in a few months.

With DC2 she was also 14 months and I'd been winding down to one a day but hadn't planned when I'd completely stop. She woke up one morning in such a good mood I took her downstairs for a cup of milk instead of feeding and that was that. It was better for me that it wasn't planned so I couldn't wind myself.up about it.

Still miss it 4 months later sometimes!

Yes I felt so sad when I stopped feeding and didn't realise I'd done the last feed as that's just the way it happened. I'd imagined it would be some sort of ceremonial feed with music and me feeling very somber ! In reality it was one bleary eyed middle of the night thing to get them back to sleep and they just never needed it in the night again and that was that !

When DS self weaned he had been feeding less than daily since turning 3, and a week between feeds at the end. If it's only been a day I wouldn't assume it was the last time yet.

Yes, it as very sad but I was more than ready, I always think it would have been better if I would have been able to savour the last feed, but it probably still would have made me sad.

@ShowOfHands oohhh that made me a little sad and realise we should appreciate everything as it could be our last 😢😢😢😢

My son weaned himself at 14m. He was down to feeds in the morning and bedtime, then just bedtime. He hadn't been that interested for a while (chicken pox really put him off feeding at 13m) and it was becoming a battle to get him to take any milk so one night I decided I'd had enough and his dad put him to bed instead of me.

I sat in the living room and sobbed because I knew that was breastfeeding over

The strange thing is that just a few days before he had randomly accepted a feed in the morning and it was a long one and he was very cuddly. So at least I have a nice memory of his last proper feed.

I still feel a bit sad we stopped now and he's almost 2!

Oh this made me feel a bit sad! 9 month old DS2 now messes about a bit during some feeds and doesn't take a bottle which can be a bit inconvenient but don't think I'm ready to let go yet as I feel teary thinking about it. Maybe its best you didn't know it was the last as you might not have enjoyed it being over emotional?

I know just how you feel! I fed my first DD for 19 months (longer than intended but she was ill and needed to continue.) When DD2 was 13 months she bit me really hard and I said no! quite loudly. She burst into tears and rushed off to sit with her sister. Next feed she refused, so that was it. I still feel bad about upsetting her, all these years later!

I planned my last feeds and it was really upsetting! DS was 13 months and down to just morning and night (I was back at work). I actually filmed his last night feed as I wanted to be able to remember it - I’ve watched it and sobbed many times since! DS on the other hand was totally fine and doesn’t seemed to have given it a second thought. Well done for all you’ve achieved - it’s not easy!

You really have probably not finished. I was down to 1 feed every 3-4 days before I stopped. Then I needed to feed about two more times just to prevme getting mastitis. This was after only feeding once a day from 12 months.

Feel sad for a while then pour yourself an enormous glass of wine or six.

Sorry I'm just getting back to reply to this, it was my last feed 😭 I had a very weepy weekend, I know I'm being silly but shes my last baby, I've loved breastfeeding. Shes having 3 bottles of cows milk a day and while I'm trying to appreciate the snuggle time while giving it to her it's not the same. However her night time sleeping has improved massively so there is a silver lining. Argh I thought I was feeling better about it but I'm welling up again now...

I think the breastmilk really symbolises nurturing, and remembering stopping reminds us of when that type of nurturing stopped.

BUT, we nurture them in so many other ways, even when they're grown up it's still there. It just becomes more about emotional support.

I agree it's quite poignant!

Aaah this thread made me so emotional. You're so right OP, it is a significant moment in your life and one you should take time and pause to recognise.

I stopped bf my second over 2 years ago and I am still a bit emotional about it now.