Anyone else feel like their DM judges their parenting?

[BlueMoon1103]

My DM and I have always been really close but I feel like she really judges my parenting and could always do it ‘better than me’. She picks at silly things and makes me feel like if I don’t do things her way I’m not doing it right, I’m not sure if she means to or not. Here are examples so people can give their opinion and any ideas on how to talk to her about it. She gets really offended when I bring it up and says she doesn’t look down on me but it feels like she does.

‘You’re not laying him down on that, are you?’ About his playmat in the garden.

‘Maybe he’s not comfortable in that position’ when I was feeding him, I feed him the same way most the time!

‘Are you going to put socks on him?’ When I said no, it’s hot today, she said ‘well I think it’d be an idea!’

And little things like if I don’t go with what she says she’ll make some comment about it, the other day she’d told me to put a muslin under DS’s head in the shopping trolley seat and I said no, he just pulls them off and throws them. As we’re walking round DS starts crying, he was hungry, DM said ‘is that because Mummy wouldn’t put a muslin under you? I did tell her!’

Anyone help?

I'd ignore most of it to be honest. She means well. Just nod and ignore. When she says "is that because Mummy..." I wouldn't let that lie, it's just rude. A simple, that really isn't helpful Mum or, "Aww baby, Granny gives us lovely advice but she forgets that I'm with you 24/7 and know you better than anyone" in a similar baby voice to her if she continues to ignore you asking her to stop.

If my mum says anything about my parenting I say "are you under the impression I wasn't there when you were parenting? I know exactly what you did!" And then laugh.

She's great most of the time but occasionally just needs to be reminded she's not perfect.

Thanks, I’ll use both those responses at times! They’re good!

My mum did this with DD1. Because she had reflux she cried a lot but my mum became obsessed with her temperature! “Ooh, I think she’s too hot”, “she feels really cold” It used to drive me nuts. Then DD2 cried a lot less so she had less opportunity to say these things but I was much thicker skinned by that point so almost wish she’d said it more so I could just give her an “oh shush don’t be daft” My best advice is to learn to live with it because she’ll probably do it less as your DS gets bigger. It is annoying though isn’t it 😜😬

Hell yes. My parenting mantra is "What would Grandma do? Let's not do that".