15yr old boy help needed

[Parsley1234]

Son 15 at boarding school just failed his end of year exams and we have been warned he may not make the grade to stay on.
Initially he was truculent blaming the school teachers everything but himself now he is taking responsibility and seems contrite willing to work hard over the summer.
Wise mumsnetters of teenage boys who have come out the other side successfully please pass on your tips !
I’m thinking remove phone and electronics
Study plan 2 hrs per day 2 x day
Exercise and healthy eating plan
My friend needs some help in his fish bait shop unpaid
He has a holiday booked already with a boy from school so that’s going ahead
He has started buying and selling items so carboots and charity shops
Have I missed anything ? He has had many chances and when he returns in September he will be monitored closely

Has he been tested for anything?

Son 15 at boarding school. Have I missed anything?

Yes. Boarding school.

How exactly do you plan to monitor him so closely and how can you be so sure there is/ has been nothing untoward going on when you have chosen to hand over his pastoral care to others?

If you are paying a lot for this school they have frankly not fulfilled their duty to you and your son only making you aware there is a problem at this stage.

His house master suggested 4 hours a day because he has coated so badly despite everyone’s efforts to push him on. I thought 4 hrs split into 2 wd work yes I agree he needs to have down time too. Head of academic support said a tutor is not the right answer as it is a laziness issue not not understanding the subject. No issues atall around friendships house school nothing

Thanks for you all being lovely I feal overwhelmed and anxious to do this right

But if he's lazy, why would he do the 4 hours with no one monitoring him? I think the tutor could at least tell you whether he's progressing or not.

If you're not academic yourself and/or out at work all day, I do think you will need a tutor to set him work and keep an eye on him

(I had a lazy 15 yr old too and he's now a v diligent young adult so don't lose hope!)

I have a friend who's son went off the rails specatularly and turned it around d with the help of a life coach who counselled him as to wait was going on, what he wanted, what the barriers were etc
However, as I understand it a bright child who is present in all lessons can get a decent set of results st gcse without huge revision and diligence so you may need to look at alternatives for post 16

As a Mum of 4 teenagers and as the daughter of a retired teacher - how do you deal with this...you allow him to fail. You can't and IMO shouldn't make him study. Motivation has to come from within and for some people that means failing in school and learning that later. My own dbro failed got average GCSEs, failed his A levels managed to get in to uni on a foundation yr where he found his motivation and is now a very highly paid CTO in Switzerland.

Could it be that the pressure he's under at school with high achieving peers is too much for him..."I'd rather fail having done no work than fail having put everything in!" An educational psychologist once said to me that children will always "do what they need to do to protect their self esteem".

What I would be doing is having lots of supportive and insightful chats with him. Get to know what's going on in his head. Discuss with him what his options for the future look like in the short, medium and long term. Not doing well in these exams or any exams does not mean he's failed his life and things need to be kept in proportion. I would also be taking a long hard think about boarding school and whether you're putting pressure where it's not wanted or feeling resentful of the investment of money in your Ds. If you feel that he's wasting your money then I'd remove him from the school and put him in a state school. He might even benefit from the experience...?