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16 year old with only friend that is rather toxic

2 replies

FFAABB2003 · 27/06/2019 14:49

Hi there, looking for moral support as I know there have been many threads over the years on this subject. I actually think its more me that needs the help rather my son. He has always had a strained social life and been more on the outside of groups etc but ususally he has one good friend in tow. However that current friend is rather toxic and doesnt treat my son very well at times. One minute he is calling and demanding sons time constantly, the next he drops him like a stone when there is a better offer. The shame of it is I beleive his friend is like this through his own self asteem issues and rejection from others in the past but why then be like that to someone who is willing to be a good friend to you ? Of course I know I cant interfere at this age but it is soo tempting. I would love nothing better than for my son to go off and get other friends but he doesnt seem confident enough to do this, there are a couple of other boys that he occasionally gets together with but unfortunatley the toxic friend seems to be his default go to. I feel retched as friendships shouldnt be this difficult and I dont want my sons own asteem to get even worse, has anyone had this with teenage boys what is the best solution, has anyone been through the same and come out the other side ? I feel so helpless) many thanks

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mintlegs · 27/06/2019 15:02

I think part of growing up is negotiating these friendship issues. I would be there for him, encourage other avenues/ hobbies. Maybe say a made up scenario that emulates his situation (I was talking to so and so today and she said her daughter had this situation blah blah) then Change the subject. It just plants seeds hopefully. They have to learn some resilience if possible ..

FFAABB2003 · 29/06/2019 13:15

Thank you mintlegs, luckily he does see what his friend is like and after a light hearted chat led by him I have suggested he not contact friend for a while and keep busy with family and other stuff. The friend usually then reappears when he notices he is not getting my sons attention and we will deal that situation as and when it happens 😬

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