My 5 year old is so nasty

[paynerdeecer]

Hi,

My nearly 5 year old daughter is not a very pleasant little girl at home or at her nan's.

At school she is well behaved and listens, but as soon as we pick her up it's like the devil is released. She says she hates us and wants new parents, demands a million snacks before and after dinner and refuses to clean up after herself. She literally does nothing I ask her to do. I have tried sticker charts and we're currently on a sweet ban. I snapped earlier and screamed at her to stop being so bloody rude and then she went to bed in tears. I don't even feel guilty. She's bringing the whole household down. I know in the morning she'll start it all again, she can wake up in a nice mood and then the next minute she's raging because I'm asking her to get dressed. I'm quite an angry person and I'm scared that I've done this and created a monster but my older boys aren't like it. She threw a bowl of sweets at my mother in law yesterday because there wasn't enough in there?! I mean wtf?? Hence the seer ban. My MIL called and said she can't handle her and is very upset my her behaviour. What should I do?? Every day ends in an argument, I believe as I'm the adult I get the final say but perhaps I'm making it worse and I should just ignore her.

I feel your pain... I found a book called Divas and Dictators (on Amazon) really helpful. Also the love bombing concept. My 4.5 year old needs tonnes of attention, cuddles, praise - I find I can pre-empt her behaviour getting bad by meeting her needs. Esp when she's tired.

I feel your pain, my dd is 5 and can be really nasty, shut up and you're not my best mummy if anything upsets her or I ask her to do anything. she'll ask if it's a school day and it can turn her into a rage if it is sometimes.

I too can have a terrible temper and dd was in tears last night from me yelling at her.

except for the last month I've been diligently trying to be different and it seems to be helping. military mom and wife is good blogger.

trying to use language that says what behaviour I do want to see, "be gentle to your sister" rather than "stop being so rough", watching my tone when I'm exasperated to keep it light and trying to be fun to get her to do stuff . explaining the impact of stuff (your toys might get lost or broken if you dont tidy them away) and letting her see the consequences (time for fun before school if she is quick getting ready for school)

also explaining when I'm taking myself away for a minute because im fuming and don't want to say something I'll regret, and being quick to apologise when I've done wrong, explaining it's not ok for mummy to shout.