Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Am I a bad parent? :(

10 replies

RainbowHair · 26/06/2019 17:51

Not sure if this is the right place to put this, sorry if it's wrong

So I have a 2yo in nursery, who is generally good.

Over the last couple of weeks at pick up, once or twice a week he has had mini tantrums, crying, kicking and just wanting to stay at nursery.
It can take between 5 and 20 minutes to get out of the nursery during these 'episodes' of not wanting to come home. I always stay calm with him when he plays up, I don't like to shout, just a bit of a stern voice if needed.

My worry is that the staff at the nursery think I'm a bad parent and that his home life is bad.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

corythatwas · 26/06/2019 18:45

Of course you're not a bad parent and of course they won't think so.

But they might just find you that little bit more considerate if you pick him up and leave after the first few minutes so they can get on with packing up. If they are regularly kept behind for 20 minutes when they may have children of their own to pick up at school, it might be a bit stressful for them.

It's fine to just lift a child away from a place he shouldn't be. It's not violence, it's not abusive, it won't make you a bad parent. Stay calm, wave bye bye to the nursery for him, change the subject as soon as you get out of the door.

Pashazade · 26/06/2019 18:59

I stood outside my nursery on more than one occasion whilst darling son had the screaming abdabs in the car. I had to wait 20 minutes for him to calm down so I could strap him in and drive away. No one batted an eyelid. Pick him up carry him out they will have seen it all before. Honestly a firm "lets go" and rugby ball carry out if necessary. You might be in a hurry one day and not be able to wait for him to calm down.....you are not a bad parent. It's normal not wanting to cooperate behaviour

bourbonbiccy · 26/06/2019 22:01

They will have seen it all before and definitely not think he has a bad home life.

Be kind to yourself 💐💐

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

chloechloe · 26/06/2019 23:46

They’ll have seen it all before. Don’t worry. As long as you stay calm with him they won’t think anything of it. My eldest is now 4 and in kindergarten and often doesn’t want to leave when I pick her up as her friends are still there. She starts yelling that I’m a stupid mummy and telling me to leave .

anon812 · 27/06/2019 00:04

Very unlikely they think that, sounds like a classic 2 year old to me

Clo27 · 27/06/2019 00:22

Of course not. Sounds like my son ! He was an only child when he went to nursery so loved it there playing with the other kids etc. It will be a phase that’s all, he will grow out of it x

Limpshade · 27/06/2019 01:59

Mine does it all the time. I am that parent who is carrying a toddler kicking and screaming under their arm while all the other parents are having a nice little chat about what their kids did that day

The thing is, with my kid it's usually tiredness and hunger. I know she's not going to really calm down until she gets home and gets fed (five minute drive). I don't wait to strap her in the car seat, I get it done and try to avoid the kicks. It's not great and I'm sure it looks terrible but I just tell myself that I know my kid better and this is the best thing for her.

Whenever anyone has commented they have been nothing but sympathetic!

Runoutofgas · 27/06/2019 04:29

My DS is exactly the same, and he's 3 1/2 now... All the other kids run up to their parents and give them a big hug while I'm chasing mine around trying to get him to get ready to go home. I regularly have to use bribes to get him to come home and have had to carry him to the car screaming on many occasions. You're not alone!

Expressedways · 27/06/2019 05:32

Mine does this most days, especially if we’re earlier than usual to pick her up. Today she tried to throw herself into the dressing up box, yesterday she hid under a table... Honestly I find it reassuring that she’s so happy there. I don’t spend any time entertaining that nonsense though, I scoop her up, we wave bye to our friends and we leave, often with some protesting but no way will I try to reason with a stroppy toddler after a long day at work. Do you seriously spend up to 20 minutes in the nursery class room most evenings???

corythatwas · 27/06/2019 15:34

Top tip for strapping tantrumming children into anything. Wait until they have to draw breath. Makes their stomach muscles relax. Push stomach down, quick work with the straps, they're in.

Flip