What would you do

[PandaMum88]

I'm having total first time mum guilt/panic...please tell me what you would do in this situation...

My DP and I have tickets to an event this Saturday. I had planned on taking DS (5mo) with us and just have him in a sling. I've just found out though that he won't be allowed in as he doesn't have his own ticket (and can't get one...it's assigned seating, we bought tickets 10mo ago, remaining tickets are £100+)

My MIL could watch him. But that makes me anxious because every time she has before (for 1-2hr max) he's been pretty hysterical almost the whole time, doesn't settle for her, really struggles taking a bottle from her. This will be at least 4hrs, so she'd definitely need to get him down for a nap and give him a bottle.

My DP has offered to stay home and watch him - as the event is more for me than him. But (as lame as this sounds) I don't really have any friends close enough near by that I'd feel comfortable inviting (that's probably just my social anxiety).

Or we don't go? But then it's a waste of relatively pricey tickets...

I know that I need to get DS used to MIL, but I've seen how he doesn't settle for her so it's really hard for me to say "yeah sure, take him for 4hrs when I know he'll be miserable most of the time"...

Is there anyone else who could have him without raising your BP? You aren't obligated to ask mil only...

@Whathappenedtooursummer She's the only one close enough (proximity wise) that's spent really any time with him. My family is really far away. And none of our family friends have spent much time with him, so can't see that being any better

Have you always been around when mil has had problems? It's just that you say you've seen the state he has got into.

Babies will often behave completely differently when mum is not around.

Make sure you give him a good feed before you go, and if she can't get anything more down him for the next 4 hours, it won't do any harm.

@Seeline It's even when I'm there and not there.

My logical brain is telling me to do as you say. (She's also meant to have him one day a week once I go back to work in a few months, so they really do need to figure each other out). But then epic mum guilt kicks in and says that's being selfish just so I can go out on my own...

You can always come home if he’s really upset and just won’t settle. Give her clear instructions as to when she should call you. It’s really hard though leaving them for the first time!