Need suggestions for bonding with my 5 year old.

[Zurisee]

I have two boys age 5 and 2, and since my 2 year old came along I feel like I've become less close with my older son. He's so independent and his little brother is so clingy, I feel like he's not my baby anymore. I love him but it sometimes feels like we don't need eachother anymore

Like so many other mums I find it quite difficult to sit down and do imaginative play with my kids. I don't mind activities with a set outcome such as drawing or building, but just open-ended play I find quite dull. I need some ideas for activities we can do together that I can enjoy too. I know this sounds selfish but I really think we both have to enjoy it to help with the bonding aspect. The only problem is that most of the time his little brother is getting in the way and we have hardly any 1:1 time together. Maybe something all three of us can do, or something that can be done at home during naptime?

I have made a separate thread here on the SAHM board about the fact I'm addicted to my phone which is a related issue.

Do you have a DH or someone that could take the toddler for a Saturday or Sunday morning so you can have some 1:1 time with the 5 year old? I'm not sure what's around you but you could do a kids' movie at the cinema, or go somewhere outdoorsy followed by an ice cream or cold drink and a cookie? My kids are 2 and 1 so I'm not quite in the same place as you, but the older one loves that time (I'm lucky enough that we get it once every few weeks) and I absolute lavish her with attention for those few hours. It doesn't need to be anything fancy.

movie night a couple of times a month is a good one, put younger sibling to bed or have a dh or dp have them do bedtime while you start the movie.

ds in pjs, popcorn and handful of favourite snack and cuddle up.

I do extra chat at bedtime, "what did you do when I wasn't with you?"

painting or drawing together? perhaps you have to do a portrait of each other?

even playing playdo together, I like to add pipe cleaners and beads/goggly eyes to make playdo monsters.

riding a bike/scooter?

I have two similar ages and sometimes it is really tricky. Mine now has twenty minutes or so after younger one goes to bed and he really values that time (also v helpful for behaviour - 'oh dear if you keep behaving like that you'll have to go to bed early as you must be tired'). I haven't solved it by any means.... He does also enjoy cooking but generally that needs someone else around to keep an eye on the younger one. Do you like swimming? Can't have your phone on you there! Or a random train or bus trip?

You really need one on one time with your son. Like everyone else what about cinema or going for walks together. Painting in the back garden. Anything you just need one on one time with him xx

I wonder if it would help your motivation if you had a project? It might also make it feel more special for him ("this is mine and mummy's thing, the baby can't do it")

So make a book (can just be paper stapled together) and add page every day during DC2s nap. He draws an animal and you write some facts about it that he thinks would be interesting (or character from paw patrol etc, whatever he's into).

Make a gift (picture, salt dough model hamma bead keyring etc) and write a card to everyone in the extended family

Plant up a bed in the garden that's just yours and his (read non fiction and fiction books about gardens, water it, dig it, draw a picture of what it will look like, look up recipes to use veg or herbs if you grow them etc)