Hello,
Before i fell pregnant, i had a really close relationship with my mother in law but now she’s becoming unbearable and i don’t know what to do/say or if i’m in the wrong? Either way, my partner is so close with his mum (as he grew up with just her) and he although understands where i’m coming from, always defends her.
Anyway, since announcing our pregnancy she constantly made comments throughout about what i should and shouldn’t do which i laughed off, but it’s only gotten worse since having our son and it’s starting to irritate me now.
First of all, she constantly comments on my baby weight either directly, or by regularly mentioning slimming world/my dress sizes and meals i should be eating. When he was born, even though i had problems breastfeeding and was recommended to bottle feed by the hospital, she still made comments that bottle milk wasn’t good enough even though i already felt disheartened that i couldn’t breastfeed and liked to remind myself that a fed baby, no matter which way, was a happy baby.
Ever since, she’s commented on him needing a hair cut, nails cutting, telling me i was weaning him wrong (even though i wean babies as part of my job) and that the weaning foods weren’t nutritional enough and that i needed to give him sweeter foods etc. Whenever i casually mention something, for example switching him from his carry cot pram to the actual pram, she has to disagree and this is quite often. It may seem like little things but they are really adding up.
She also hasn’t bought him anything at all, which is obviously her choice (although i do find it odd that she hasn’t even bought a tiny gift) but she will take things that i’ve bought and say she needs them kept at her house for when he visits for example clothes, bottles, plates, nappies and never gives me them back, making excuses when i ask. I don’t earn much money and so whatever i spend, i need.
The last thing is that she always takes him out in his pram which is nice because she makes the effort but she took it out recently and obviously by accident scraped the frame (tons of really deep scratches) and tore the mesh underneath the pram. I was obviously upset because my parents had saved really hard to buy the pram as a gift, but i do understand that accidents happen. When she told me, i just replied with “oh” because i didn’t know what to say and she laughed at me telling me that i need to get over it. I’m just so sad, more for my mum who was disappointed that it had happened because it looks a mess.
I don’t want to dislike her, i just don’t know what to do anymore and don’t want to say anything wrong or upset anyone. I don’t even know if i am in the wrong for feeling the way i do about her because she does always get excited when she gets to see my son, it’s just really starting to get me down and i feel like sometimes her comments mean that she’s disapproving of me being a mum.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you.