Do you just KNOW you are ready for number 2?

[crispysausagerolls]

I am completely torn. DS is about to turn one and on one hand I am outrageously broody, but on the other he seems like such a baby to me still, and I don’t want to take away our little team just yet. I also BF and don’t want to stop any time soon but don’t want to feed when pregnant/tandem feed.

But...but broodiness!!!!!!!

Do you just know?!

It's totally up to you, everyone is different. Maybe sit down with your partner and have a discussion. That's what we did. We're only young and had an unexpected pregnancy, we then decided to start trying for another almost as soon as our daughter was born so we could get all the baby stuff out the way altogether and have a career in a few years. We were more successful than we thought we'd be and I was pregnant again almost straight away. Premature birth means that weirdly there is exactly 40 weeks between my two children! For us personally, we just knew it was what we wanted, but as I say, everyone is different. I think certainly you just know what is right for you. Good luck!! xxx

I was the same with my DD when she turned one! But when I spoke to OH about wanting more kids and being broody i realised it was more because she was growing up and wasnt a baby anymore that I wanted that experience again! On the other hand new baby cousin for my DD and she loves him but anytime i hold him feed him etc DD gets very jealous as she's still to young to realise whats going on & that made me realise that it was just the thought of losing her as a baby and she was now turning into her own person that didnt need helping as much, i BF too and stopping that was hard but the right thing to do as DD is too greedy & not enough milk!

Mine tends to be about the same time every day, often preceded by some farts

It just clicked one day with us. A month before a friend joked that she was pregnant with no 2 when her first baby was the same age as mine. I was horrified. The next month everything just fell into place that we could cope with another baby. LO was 17 months old x

We discussed it and then started trying for number two.

One thing that I was not aware of was the impact of breastfeeding as we had a couple of very early miscarriages. I had not realised that there was a link and found it very upsetting. Please note though that not everyone finds this, it is just something to be aware of.

My DC was down to one feed so once he was happy without breastfeeding (15 months) we tried again and am now expecting our second child.

MrsNai

I am so sorry for your losses.

What causes the impact?

I’m hoping it’ll kick in at some point. DS is 2 and I feel like I’ve just got my body and sanity back. I’m not ready to give that up again yet, even though DH and I were planning to ttc this summer. I’ve told him I’m not ready and I’m not happy to do it again just now. He’s okay with it but he’s worried we’ll leave it too long.

Fartniss

It’s a good point! I am back to my normal weight now but I gained 4 stone or something mad with the pregnancy and I really don’t want to go back to that! And has SPD. And let’s not even talk about how awful the labour is 😂🙈🤦🏻‍♀️ So those are also good reasons to wait a little.

Yes, I just knew, but it was only after I’d really had time to enjoy my first and get a bit of a normal life again, which was when first one was 3.5. We started trying when she turned 4, so we have a 5 year age gap. It was perfect for us and I wouldn’t have wanted to do it sooner. The toddler years can be challenging and 2 in childcare if you plan to return to work is expensive.

1 year seems to be key broody time! My DS is 2 and we started trying after his first birthday (took us 8 months to conceive and it only happened when he fully stopped breastfeeding just to warn you - we fell pregnant first cycle with him). Lots of my friends with 2yos are also pregnant/just had their second / ttc too. I am pleased we have number 2 on the way - we have all the baby stuff we need, we are used to interrupted sleep (DS is a crap sleeper), it will be nice to have similar ages as they grow up and so on. However, I totally get waiting and I do worry about DS's reaction when baby is born as he is such a mummy's boy!

For me I decided what age gap I thought would work well in terms of practicality in the early days and relationship long term (though obviously you can't plan that so much) rather than my own broodiness if that makes sense. 3 years is what we wanted so I didn't get broody as I knew it wouldn't be long until we were pregnant again, but felt ready at the time. Although obviously considering it's not always possible to fall quickly.

@crispysausagerolls Exactly! I gained 30kg and I’ve worked so frigging hard to lose it... Labour was terrifying and I ended up with some awful birth injury that left me unable to walk for a month. I couldn’t have sex for almost a year and my marriage really suffered - we’re finally back on track now. I hope it’d be different with no.2 but I’m just not sure enough to go for it.

I suppose we were just more practical in the sense that we knew we wanted two children close in age with a 2ish age gap to do all the baby stuff out of the way.

I fell pregnant much quicker 2nd time round so there is only a 2.1 gap.

In hindsight I kind of wish we waited a tad longer, because I don't think I was quite prepared for the reality of a 2nd child (but I quickly did get my shit together!), it was all a bit clinical.

They are 20 and 22 now, and it has worked out perfectly though.

to do all the baby stuff out of the way

I really really LOVE the baby phase - I definitely don’t want to get it out of the way! That’s another reason for me to wait, to really savour the baby phase of each one!

Thank you crispysausagerolls.

There isn't a great deal of research on a link between early miscarriages and breastfeeding, but it has been suggested that for some women hormone levels from breastfeeding can lead to early miscarriage. For me it certainly seemed to be the case and discovering that was upsetting.

www.laleche.org.uk/pregnant-and-breastfeeding/

I am so sorry about your losses but to say that breastfeeding is linked or could be linked to miscarriage is not right.
That link from la leche says nothing of the sort and I would be interested in reading a scientific study if you can provide it. I am bf my toddler and pregnant OP. I understand not to do both, I do, but there is no link.

Cloudyinjune I fully understand that there is not a lot of research, but when I saw my GP I was advised that there may be link. Hence waiting until no longer breastfeeding to try again.

There may or may not be a link but when we first started trying for a second child not even being aware that there might be a link led to sadness for us.

No intention to scare or alarm and so very sorry if I caused upset or distress.

Well that was terrible advice and that GP should be reported. I contacted the National breastfeeding line when my GP gave me wrong advice regarding BF. I suggest you di the same. Spreading a wrong fact about BFing is not helping anyone. GP provided no evidence and neither have you. Unfortunate.

not even being aware that there might be a link led to sadness for us.
There is no link. It is terribly sad but it is not related to breastfeeding.

I’m hoping it’ll kick in at some point. DS is 2 and I feel like I’ve just got my body and sanity back. I’m not ready to give that up again yet

Same here. DD is 21 months. I've lost two stone, can wear my lovely clothes again (and they aren't covered in sick, hooray!), my body is mine, can communicate(ish), sleeps reliably... I'd like another but not just yet.

I think you do just 'know' to a certain extent but it's also a practical decision too. I just knew I wanted dc2, there was never any question about it and I would only have had 1 child if it was impossible to have another. I wanted them close together and got pregnant just after dc1 turned 1.

With dc3 though (who I am pregnant with now) it was a much more practical decision and we nearly didn't go for it. If, for some reason, this pregnancy doesn't work out I will just count my blessings and never try again. I'm much more pragmatic about the whole thing this time.