Disciplining toddler

[iggledaisy]

DD is 20 months and most of the time is a well behaved, sweet little girl. She has the occasional tantrum but nothing that can't be handled. She's pretty good with her words and can just about starting to put two words together to ask for things etc. She can understand a lot more than she can verbalise. When she does misbehave I'm struggling to make her understand that she's been naughty. I tend to take her aside and say no DD that's naughty and explain what's she's done is naughty and made mummy sad etc etc. It's not major things, just throwing things (usually at me or DP lol) but it's not a hugely common occurrence. When I tell her off she tends to just laugh at me and hide behind her hands. She's too young to understand reward charts or naughty step at the moment. I suppose I'm just asking what other people have done at this sort of age and leading up to when she turns two and can understand a little bit more? TIA

I didn’t discipline dd at that age - there is no point, they don’t understand what they’re doing is wrong and so don’t understand why you’re sad/angry.

Just distract if she starts throwing things or misbehaving. You can of course say no, but telling her it makes you sad is utterly pointless.

Our 22month old understands when you tell him not to do something to a certain extent, but we dont discipline. He has a phase of throwing, if I see him going to throw something I say "stop" and 90% of the time he does, but I don't expect him to stop throwing completely, it's just if I see in time if that moment or try and distract.

I do also say mummy doesn't like it if you throw, I think that's more just for the repeating of it, in the hope he will get it once he understand it properly.

When she does misbehave I'm struggling to make her understand that she's been naughty. I tend to take her aside and say no DD that's naughty and explain what's she's done is naughty and made mummy sad etc etc.
I personally don't use the word naughty at all.
She is throwing something. Is that "naughty"? No, she is experimenting. Should we tell her it is ok to throw stuff at people? Well no, but telling her is naughty has no meaning. They have no clue what that is. Simply model and explain. Over and over. Until it sinks in.
Can or should you discipline at this age? No. Should you allow all behaviour? No.
But naughty steps etc have been proven to have no effect on long term behaviour.
Explain, model, repeat, praise the good behaviour.
And bare in mind she is tiny and it will get better

I don’t use the word naughty. She’s far too young to be “naughty” as that implies that she knows the right way to behave and that she’s making a conscious decision to behave otherwise. She’s not, she’s trying things and has no impulse control.
My disciplining here would be to say “we don’t throw x it will break/hurt mummy/etc. Let’s find something else to throw/do x activity instead.” And maybe provide her with the chance to throw during play eg out in the garden.

I would tell dd why we don't throw x. and try to say what behaviour you do want to see. dd keep food on the plate. if it goes on the floor it's dirty and we can't eat it. dd put the block carefully on the floor, you might hurt mummy or break something if you throw it.

make sure you get down on her level and get eye contact when you talk. she's not been naughty per se, she just doesn't understand what's acceptable and what isn't yet.

and yes to pp, try to find something she can do, e.g. here's a soft ball, see how soft it is, you can thow this it won't hurt anyone

Discipline literally means teach. Not punish.