What age is bedtime independence in your house?

[northernlites]

We are trying to get DS (9) to put himself to bed as he has a week long school trip in autumn to prepare for, but he is very needy at bedtime, constant supervision to stay on track and anxious when lights out so wants us there to help him at that point.
DS has dyspraxia hence some of the above and we have done a lot of work to reduce anxiety and reduce the length that bedtime takes and it has been successful but here we still are and I want to move forward. So he now has a laminated checklist to tick off which helps.
My DD (7) also wants to try and be more independent at bedtime, (no special needs)

Any tips on how to move forward?
What age were yours doing bedtime independently?

It's just repetition over time I think. Keep doing the same thing at the same time every single day. Then it becomes habit and he will do the same when he's away. I bet he won't be the only slightly bewildered kid at 9 away from home for a week, but don't forget they'll all be doing a bedtime routine and they'll probably be knackered from the lack of sleep and activities they've been doing all day.

Just keep on keeping on!

Thanks agree with the repetition and will do that, hopefully they will gain more confidence as time goes by

My nine year old showers, gets pj’s on and does teeth independently but I still out her I to bed after reading. We have a little bedtime ritual that we both like but she is fine staying elsewhere as she is usually so excited that she doesn’t care I am not there!

Sorry I also know nothing about dyspraxia which I have just seen your son has so my comparison probably not that useful.

All of it's useful, thank you
I think he's capable, just lacks confidence, the tick list hopefully takes care of the dyspraxia elements!

My nine year olds had teeth, pyjamas, story in bed every night without fail. A week is a long trip for a child this age to be honest. I do not think you can prepare for this separation, just keep being normal at home dont try to wean him off you. My DCs said children often cried at camp at this age at night time.

Do you mean walk upstairs carrying own water and getting into bed? Or the whole teeth, pjs etc . If it’s the former 3.5/ 4 otherwise 8.

Dh goes in and reads stories unless exceptionally late, it’s not to settle them though sometimes they have a story downstairs and then get into bed.

I mean for him to do everything (toilet/pj's/teeth etc), except having a cuddle and saying goodnight we still do that bit, he is 9

I was interested in what other people do with their DC's bedtimes to see if similar.
My DD also wants to be like her brother, playing the keep up game so she wants to try what he does, she's 7

Also nine seems early for a residential? My dd will go in year 6 so she will be 11 so much more self sufficient hopefully than I would expect at 9.

I have been working towards independence with everything apart from reading and cuddles since 7 but still oversaw teeth. Has a complete flip out tonight as I told her at half seven that if her school reading and tables tables practice were not done by nine they were not being done. She tried to start at 9. Did not go well.

DGS is 11, goes to bed at 8.30 for 9 pm sleep. Needs lots of prompts and a story.

Yes by the time he does his residential he will be yr 5 and almost 10 and it's joint with yr 6's
I feel like if he went now he wouldn't be ready but hope by autumn we can get him there

@MollysMummy2010 hope this evening was easier

Nine isn’t early for a residential, my dc go on school residentials age six for two nights, and church camps age seven for six nights.
The obviously have to shower etc at both.
Children are capable of far more than they are often given credit for.