Breastfeeding

[CocoJones]

FTM here. I am 14 weeks pregnant via ivf with my partner Danielle. I'm just wondering about breastfeeding.... can you bottle feed breast milk .. but only by expressing and not physically breastfeeding baby? I want my baby to have breast milk BUT I want others to be able to feed baby / help out.

You can naturally express your breast milk or use a pump and store the milk in small storage pouches that can go into the freezer. I used a tommee tipee breast pump to express my breast milk which was really good but it didn't help in the end because he wouldn't have the bottle at all.

Often it’s easier to just feed from the source rather than bothering with pumping. Pumping can take longer and use up your precious time you could’ve spent napping!

However you can exclusively breastfeeding, feed your baby expresses breast milk or formula feed, or do a combination of all. Depending on what works for you and your family.

Remember though that people can help out by making you meals, doing laundry, taking baby for a walk, doing housework...... helping out doesn’t have to be all about feeding the baby.

I just had an NCT breastfeeding class and it was amazing. She said the easiest thing to do, rather than a bottle, is you can get these little cups, which you put your milk into and when you put this under the baby's lip, it will automatically lap up. This doesn't cause nipple confusion like a bottle can :)

We expressed milk from about week 3 so my DP could feed our LO in the morning and give me a lie in! Kept me sane!

We never had any issue with her confused or refusing either but I believe the advice to establish breastfeeding and start the expressing after a few months to avoid confusion. Someone else may be able to confirm the recommended timeline though!

@StinkySaurus I don't want to be the only one able to feed baby. I want baby to have the nutrients of the breast "milk" but not for me to be the only one to feed. I know people can help elsewhere but I know what it's like being someone who wants to help feed baby. I feel like it's a good bonding time between baby and my girlfriend.

@SnowdropFox I think me and my partner would like to take turns in nights rather than feeds so her being able to feed baby is essential for this.

@CocoJones if your baby is drinking breast milk only just to let you know you won't really be able to take turns because every time your partner gets up to feed baby expressed milk you will have to get up and pump to keep your supply up. My DS is 16 months and still breastfed but I never pump. Hats off to those mums that exclusively pump because I genuinely don't think I could do it. It's twice the work!

I often do exactly what you're suggesting and it works really well for me. Like you I wanted my OH to feed the baby for bonding, and also just to give me a break now and again! They do say give it at least 2 weeks in case of nipple confusion and to also establish your supply, but I actually started pumping after about 10 days. We switch between breast and bottle absolutely fine, though of course not everyone is that lucky! Pumping also doesn't take me too long, and again others aren't that lucky and it can take forever (though pumping only a little milk is no indication of what your baby is getting).

Overall though I find it easier to pump throughout the day as then I know how much my baby is taking in. I also think he takes in more with the bottle, and because of that he's sleeping through the night now.

Hope that helps a bit!

@Bambam60 thank you for your positive words. I'm really confused now on what to do. Will need to discuss it with my midwife. I just want to give my baby the best milk possible but not be the only person having to feed & im not sure how confident I feel breastfeeding in public & around family as well as wanting my partner and family to be able to feed.

Coco pumping and bottle feeding are one of those things you can't really plan for too much until baby arrives. You might have the sort of boobs that don't pump much milk, your baby might not take a bottle, there are so many other variables too.

I combi fed to begin with (FF and BF) due to tongue tie. It was so hard. Expressing and feeding was so much work. I was either pumping or feeding. Even then I couldn't get enough out so baby had formula top ups.

At about 4 weeks I was back to fully BF however. This was so much easier. I could just get a boob out and go for it. I did express occasionally if I was going out (and at one stage became a bit neurotic about having milk in the freezer!). I found baby would take the breast milk if I wasn't around. If I was in the house, baby could smell me and wanted boob.

Good luck with however you feed. We're at similar stages of pregnancy too, I hope you have a good pregnancy.

@CocoJones I'm exactly the same. I didn't feel confident breastfeeding in public and I didn't know the best way to prepare formula when out and about. It confused me and stressed me out! So I started pumping and freshly pumped milk can stay at room temperature for 4-6 hours, so I'd usually pump just before we go out and then feed that. Or when we went to bed, the baby may have gone down at 8pm for example, I'd then pump at 11pm just before going to bed and then just leave it out in a bottle for when my OH did the feed at about 1am.

I also sometimes use the aptamil ready to feed formula bottles to take the stress off!

I've never managed to do what you're describing unfortunately as it's so much easier to just feed than express. And my boobs get engorged if I skip a feed. There are so many ways partners can bond, feeding is just one way

Hi op, bf can be so simple and yet so complicated, as you’ve figured out there’s a lot of conflicting info (though I think pp’s are correct in what they’re saying). You should be offered breastfeeding support thru antenatal stuff or local hospital groups. I’d also look locally for NCT or Le Leche Legue (LLL) groups as they’ll be able to offer advice before and after the baby comes.

Congrats to you and your partner x

@Teachermaths congratulations to you too. I am 14 weeks exactly today. There's so much to think about , I've worked in the childcare industry for over 10 years but never had to make the decisions myself.

@LauraPalmersBodybag thank you for your message. I have a midwives appointment soon so I'm going to speak to her to see where I can more information.

I starting exclusively breastfeeding but then did pump a bit after about a month so that I didn't have to only breastfeed. It wasn't great for me as I didn't get too much milk pumping but managed enough for a bottle a day so may dh could do last feed at night so I could get an early night. It just took some getting sorted with routine but is definitely doable. Don't know about night feeds though as I just fed through the night.