How to stop 14 month old running away

[wobblywibble]

Just as the title says really. Ds has been walking since 11 months but refuses to hold my hand and go in the direction I want him to. It's fine when we're somewhere safe but I worry that he's going to dart across a car park! Obviously I don't just let him run away and end up carrying him.
I've tried reigns but if I stop him going where he wants he sits down and screams.
I try and explain why he has to hold my hand, why he shouldn't run off etc but I know at the moment he doesn't understand.
Unfortunately he is very strong minded....just like me! Great!
Any words of wisdom or is it just another phase?

You hold his hand. He doesn't get a choice. Some things are none negotiable. No hand then he goes in a buggy.

Reins hand or buggy.
No chat no negotiation
He isn’t old enough to have rational discussion.

Refuses to hold your hand? Surely he doesn’t get a choice here....you don’t let go.

He Is little to understand or have a choice. If he doesn’t hold hands then he goes in a pushchair.

Ps ds1 used to go straight as a board when cross and wouldn’t go in the buggy but I soon perfected the knee brace position to hold the buggy with one leg child in buggy with opposite knee and both arms to wrangle child into restraints.

My daughter is similar. She pulls her ha d away and sits down.
I’ve taken to reigns. She feels like she’s in control but is also safe, walking anywhere takes an age, so I only really do it if I’ve got plenty of time. And if she’s sitting down and refusing to move then into the buggy she goes.

Thanks all, just wanted to check I wasn't going mad!
No, I know he doesn't have a choice holding my hand but he always twists away or sits down having a strop. Will keep persevering hold hand or go in the pushchair.

Have you tried the backpack reins? Dd puts snacks and her water in hers and loves it.

If that doesn’t work it’s in the buggy every time. Dd was a total bugger for holding my hand until recently (2.5 now) and I just couldn’t risk her bolting and getting hit by a car.

Just keep muddling through as best you can. Hold his hand anyway. He'll understand soon. I never found reins any use at all; mine would immediately roll around like cars on a lead!

Reins, no choice. You are in control

Reins, hold hands or the buggy.

Back pack reins or the stretchy wrist strap. I have twins who are 2.5 and have ASD so they simply do not understand - I’m very strict about hand holding unless we are somewhere big like the park then I’ll use the reins. If they sit down and refuse to move I pick them up and carry them.

You're the boss, you are in charge. It doesn't matter if he struggles or goes on sit down strike or has a screaming tantrum. Tough, he has to put up with it and learn he has to do as he is told.

You have to be firm on this.

If you ever let him get away with it, imagine what he will be like if he is 4, can run like the wind and you have a baby to wrangle as well.

Buggy or get the little life backpack reins.

If he won't hold your hand or wear reigns then he is too young to be out of the buggy in risky places. Try again in a few months when his understanding will have improved, at the moment he doesn't get it (which is leading to refusal to walk as it isn't on his terms).

It's fine where we're somewhere safe

No, it really isn't. How is he to distinguish between when it is safe and when it isn't? You need to be totally consistent.

I started a post about this a couple of months ago!! Someone told me to get the wrist one but let him out it on and that worked and then also with the backpack let him out his dummy and favourite you in it and that helped. As others say now I don't give him a choice, he flips to the floor and I just wait and we go nowhere until he gives in. It's tiring I know! 21 months and he's giving in

I've always done "hold my hand, or mummy will carry you". Admittedly this only works because he's desperate to walk and not be carried! I've done this and followed through every single time. He still tries it on - he's a toddler! - but I feel like he does understand and it works well generally.

The choice is walk nicely or he is put in buggy. That is it. Repeat until he gets the message

Reins. Not the packback ones as they clip at the front and toddlers are Houdinis. Get the ones that clip at the back. Even if you don’t hold them they give you a good handle in case of emergencies.

Another vote for reins. We used them with DD as soon as she could walk, so it was normal for her. I would be afraid of hurting a child if I had to hold its hand so tightly that it couldn't run away.

If he won't walk with you stick him in the buggy whether he likes it or not, he will soon learn if he wants to walk he needs to hold your hand or walk on reins. My son was like this when he was younger but he is grand now and I actually threw his buggy away as he never uses it anymore.

The trunki harnesses were really good when ours were younger. They won’t undo the backpack ones though so we use those

Christ it's basically like dog training, isn't it?!
Thanks for all the pointers. Yes I'm being consistent and no I'm not letting him get away with it.
Will try some backpack reins too
@blacksax by "it's fine when we're somewhere safe" I mean I'm happy for him to run around like a loon in the garden or park etc. I'm obviously not going to let him run off wherever he wants when we're out and about