Second baby (suprise) on the way...feeling unsettled

[kmammamalto]

Hello lovely ladies and gents,

I am due my second baby in October. This pregnancy was not planned and I found out a couple of months before we got married, I only went back to work in September after the birth of our first who is 2.9, and we had just bought our first house and moved in and it's a state.
So those are the circumstances which maybe adding to my insecurities and nerves. I am so worried about having a second child, I love our life, my job and the way I felt like we were getting a bit if balance back! We have moved around alot and never had any support but have settled by my parents and it's been a life changer!

Our new baby is also a girl which has thrown me into more ridiculous worry... can anyone relate?
Any similar siblings with similar age gaps? Any great stories about surprise seconds that have made your lives complete?! Any home truths about how hard it will be!?

I know I sound awful and ungrateful, feeling guilty that when I feel baby kick, I don't feel the same way I did with DS!
I won't be able to go back to work as it was a one year contract which won't be held and my partner works away mon-fri so would have been difficult anyway. So staring down the barrel of becoming a stay at home mum of two?
It's one more big change when I felt all changed out!
Thanks in advance if you even read this far.

Hopeful bump please! Anyone? I know it's not overly interesting or divisive but I am interested in taking other mums. Ya know, on mumsnet...

Hi, I’m expecting my second in December and also very nervous. It’s very hard to know in advance what it’ll be like isn’t it? What have we let ourselves in for?! Try not to worry yourself too much and take one step at a time is the advice I’m trying to give myself! X

You could perhaps go back to work when your eldest gets their free nursery hours or goes to school, then hopefully you would just have to find a job that paid for the nursery or childminder hours of the youngest.

Hi Op it's completely normal to not be as wrapped up in the second pregnancy like you were with your first I have a DS 2.2yrs and DD almost 4 months old I found I was so tired with taking care of my DS that I wasn't doing things like I use to when pregnant with him like talking to the bump etc also it was harder towards end of pregnancy with energy to be able to do things with my DS as all I wanted to do was sleep

I love both my babies and wouldn't be without them and I have found it does get easier each day the newborn stage was difficult with trying to juggle spending time with my DS and keeping up with my DD wanting to always be held and on me etc however from what I've experienced personally my DS does love having a little sister there's times he's not fussed my DD is now paying her big brother more attention and I am looking forward to seeing them grow up together I personally don't think there is ever a right time or age gap it's always going to be a bit more difficult when you go from one child to another but it does get easier and you do find ways of managing again

@2beautifulbabs
Thank you for that! I know I'm beating myself up over nothing and it's only going to get worse but I also think that since it wasn't a planned pregnancy I almost felt like I didn't want it! And still feel unsure then think of my little girl in there and feel horrified at myself!
Glad to hear all is going well with you and your two littlies. I do hope they love each other!! I'm an only so a brave new world for me!

@hugsandpastries thanks so much for getting in touch. I'm certainly wondering what I've let myself in for! If, i can be rude enough to ask, Was your second planned?
I think that makes me feel more overwhelmed although I'm sure it makes little difference now!
I thought the same about work but it means finding a new job and so starting all over again! I'm currently on a year contract and it will end in the summer and after that I'm.jobless and pregnant... I'm disappointed about this which makes me think it affects how I feel about the over all situation.
Hope you're feeling well

@kmammamalto the second was kinda planned only I had a change of heart after a couple of weeks of trying - but by then it was already too late! Didn’t feel entirely happy to discover the news to be honest. This time around I know a bit more about what I’m in for and how tough it is.

Trying to think positively and remember how cute babies are though. You will be able to get a new job if you want one. They are only small for a little while in the scheme of things. X